What books for partner of Aspergers person?

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As well as, secondarily, person himself(me). Have been looking at
Amazon, many 3- and 4-star books with reviews on this subject,
nothing in stores to preview. Long term marriage with children.
Long-term member of this site ( under various names ), just joined
this forum, short on time to go thru whole forum. Help!

I really enjoyed Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships, by Ashley Stanford - http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3649 ... ationships - I think it's full of good ideas for coping.

My partner said that The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome by Maxine C. Aston was a tremendous help in understanding me and how to deal with a relationship with an Aspie.

Try Look Me In the Eye by John Robison, it's by far the best autobiography of an Aspie yet written, and will provide numerous insights into the Aspie mind, and is very entertaining to boot. I'd also recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Adult Asperger Syndrome by Valerie L Gaus, it's written for the therapist, but I find that the examples of difficulties faced by people with AS are very good at helping NTs understand some of our ticks and issues. Stay away from the "woe is me, Aspergers ruined my life" style of autobiography, there seems to be a number of them around written to cash in as AS has become more well known, and they're not only not helpful, but positively harmful.

While we're on the subject of Maxine Aston, Aspergers in Love is worth a look.

It's important, when embarking on a couple-based exploration, to keep in touch with what's going on.

Neither the aspie component of a relationship, nor the non-aspie component (yes, I know, if there are kids there the whole thing gets more complicated) has any idea of where reality is.

At the point of diagnosis, the aspie component is at the end of trying to make a dysfunctional reality model work. Bad news, there isn't a reality model that does work.

The partner is at the end of trying to make his/her model work with participants for whom it doesn't. Worse news...

I haven't seen a book yet that addresses this tight-rope of despair and hope. I don't think there is one, yet.

I find that the book and the reader need to match, the book that works for me and fills me with revelations is yesterday's cold oatmeal to Georgina.

If it were up to me, I would do what I would do for myself - hit the libraries, bring home a stack, and read / have the SO read the one or two that resonate.

I just got handed a book [on sensory processing issues] that immediately hooked me; the person from whom described it as "too dry / technical".

The Martian in the playground is pretty much my biography through my mid teens.

I'm going to suggest it to my wife.