A visit to another psychologist

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I've spent a long time seeing psychologists ever since the end of high school because of my issues with mild, yet long lasting depression and anxiety. I don't know why it's so hard for me to cope on my own, but lately things have been a little better so I'm hoping I'm not going to need psychotherapy for much longer.

My psychotherapist in college diagnosed me with asperger's after a couple of years of weekly visits. The current psychologist I'm seeing after college diagnosed me with PDD-NOS upon the 1st visit. I would have been almost undetectable if I hadn't have explained some of my extreme learning delays.

I was delayed with my language learning skills, along with other things, too. I didn't learn my multiplication tables, or how to tell time until the 5th grade. In the 6th grade, I learned the difference between left, right, horizontal, vertical, and diagonal, and how to blow bubbles with gum. A year later, I learned to tie my shoelaces. I've also had other extreme developmental delays, but these are the main ones that I explained to my current psychologist. Also, I explained that I used to have some problems with meeting friends, and maintaining appropriate eye contact, but I outgrew them. Also, I've outgrown some of my obsessive interests, even though I still have some obsessive tendencies in my head.

Though, what's interesting is that my last psychologist eventually diagnosed me with asperger's, even though I didn't explain many of these developmental delays with the last one. This psychologist says that I have PDD-NOS with a few asperger's characteristics in the past, and am not autistic, but the last one said that I was on the spectrum. I've also noticed that there appears to be many mixed opinions about whether PDD-NOS or asperger's are forms of autism, but it doesn't really matter to me, as long as there is some explanation of why I've felt so different.

It simply just seems as if my brain is wired like a turtle's. Everything's in slow motion with me. I used to even talk at a slower speed than everyone else by dragging out each syllable before I attended speech therapy. Though, some people have told me that my voice is still slow and slightly monotonous. I've never had problems with overstimulation, and I've outgrown many of my challenges with social understanding, but I still do have some awkward moments, occasionally, from time to time, and I'm really terrible with verbal and nonverbal communitcation.
It's sometimes hard for me to express how I feel, and when I was in college, it would take me 3-6 hours to write a 12 point font, 1 page single spaced, or 2 spaced double spaced essay. Also, when it comes to reading facial expressions, it's hard for me to understand any complex language other than a smile means someone's happy, and a frown means they are upset.

I'm sorry if this post is too long.

Me too, well, I developed my own way of tying my shoelaces when I was 6 but I learned to do it the regular way much much later. I was pretty much a slow learner too. Couldn't do proper punctuation even at 16. I couldn't write like I am writing now.
There are differing viewpoints about Asperger's, whether it is autism or not. I just think, well it's on the spectrum so it's got to be. It's just very similar to HFA so I believe it is autism.

PDD-NOS is atypical autism. Many doctors diagnose it because they think parents will be afraid of the word "autism". Most likely you are just one of the majority of the spectrum (yes, PDD-NOS is the largest group) who does not fit into any specific category.

So: Yes. You're autistic. Silly doctors.

Hello RainBowButterfly. May I say first of all that the prose of your handle should be your name as it also reflects the beauty of your character represented by your words below:

"Though, what's interesting is that my last psychologist eventually diagnosed me with asperger's, even though I didn't explain many of these developmental delays with the last one. This psychologist says that I have PDD-NOS with a few asperger's characteristics in the past, and am not autistic, but the last one said that I was on the spectrum. I've also noticed that there appears to be many mixed opinions about whether PDD-NOS or asperger's are forms of autism, but it doesn't really matter to me, as long as there is some explanation of why I've felt so different.

It simply just seems as if my brain is wired like a turtle's. Everything's in slow motion with me. I used to even talk at a slower speed than everyone else by dragging out each syllable before I attended speech therapy. Though, some people have told me that my voice is still slow and slightly monotonous. I've never had problems with overstimulation, and I've outgrown many of my challenges with social understanding, but I still do have some awkward moments, occasionally, from time to time, and I'm really terrible with verbal and nonverbal communitcation.
It's sometimes hard for me to express how I feel, and when I was in college, it would take me 3-6 hours to write a 12 point font, 1 page single spaced, or 2 spaced double spaced essay. Also, when it comes to reading facial expressions, it's hard for me to understand any complex language other than a smile means someone's happy, and a frown means they are upset. "

I understand your frustrations with the professionals so much so that I wrote a short treatise in my unpublished manuscript Entitled THE EINSTEIN METAPHYSICS: A UNIFIED FIELD THEORY & THE SECRET OF LIFE that I believe may evidence, describe and define the cause and effects of autism/Asperger syndrome. Kindly let me know if any of my ideas resonate with you. Here it is:

The physiology of autism may be an affliction of the doctors and health professionals, not the observed autistic!

The professionals and the observed autistic may perceive reality in diametric contradistinction.

To the professionals, "everything is many". To the autistic:

Everything is One…You
You create two, three…Me.
Reality defined as thought, energy, experience, matter and objects are willfully created by Your sentient consciousness.
Time, distance, motion, change, and choice are created illusion.
Light and the universe originate from You.
You are much greater than the outline of Your body.

The beauty and placid serenity of this perception is as resilient and resistant to the observed autistic as is the perception of the confusing and chaotic “everything is many” to the health professionals.

The autistic intentionally and willfully does not create “Self”, “I am”, or “me” out of consciousness before, during or after the perceived expulsion from the womb, and is physically one with the universe/environment while the perception of the professionals is that the autistic is a dividing organism (birth) in the professional's own likeness with sentient temporal distance & differences of their own creation!

As the health professionals perceive or witnesses a birth as a dividing event, separate and outside of “self”, they also witness or perceive the autistic as a defective being, separate, and outside of their “self” not realizing and resisting/denying the fact that the autistic creates, and senses no differences, and is physically – and literally - one with every thing. . .

The specific therapy by the professionals to require the observed autistic to adopt the perception of “everything is many”, is to convince and persuade the autistic by working one-on-one and eliminating, and/or diminishing, all intrusive stimuli, light, sound, odors, etc. (consider a hyperbaric sensory deprivation chamber), as they become glaring, hurtful, and disruptive respectively, so that the autistic eventually perceives that creation of “self”, “I am”, “me”, is a viable option, subsequent to becoming one of the many, and finally adapting to the perception that "everything is many."

Otherwise and most profoundly, the doctors and health professionals have the option, and opportunity to acknowledge and adopt the perceived reality of “Everything is One…You”, following the lead of the autistic to develop and maintain the science, art, metaphors, tools and technologies of eliminating “self”, “I am”, “me” in order to create an alternative reality, universe, dimension, illusion and experience one organism…You!


The autistic perception is the unrecognized evolution of mankind being One organism…You!

Peace be unto You RainBowButterfly.