OK, back on topic...
I've had a string of absolutely hideous bosses in my former career as a classroom teacher.
My first job (post-college) was middle-school music. I felt administration basically threw me to the dogs because about everything that could go wrong with a new teacher happened to me! No support.
So I licked my wounds, sent out resumes, and simply wrote off my bad experience as having to do with first-year naïvety. I moved on to a school that wasn't quite as bad. Had a rough first year, but survived. Second year saw a turnover in administration. While I fared better with the kids (middle and high school), I had a principal constantly on my back and a superintendent who seemed somewhat detached. I couldn't read these people at all, likely an AS thing. So I figured, rather than repeat past mistakes, to just move on with at least my reputation still intact.
I took a job as band director at a private school. I also had a great first year there, but I should have suspected something was wrong at the end of the year when the headmaster suddenly became hostile towards me--and I really didn't have a clue that anything was wrong. The next year was actually going a lot better. Ratings were up from last year at the concert festival, had an awesome spring concert, etc. A week after spring concert I'm informed that my contract won't be renewed. WHAT??? Something about recruitment not being up to par. Since when?
Lesson learned. I'd already known before taking those two jobs that those schools had a HISTORY of music/band teacher turnover after 1 or 2 years. Considering my social inadequacies, I had no good reason to really believe that I'd be any different.
What I didn't say about that last job is that band was not the job I actually applied for--it's just what they handed me. The headmaster was at least decent enough to offer me that as a consolation: Private piano lessons. So I moved from an office to a broom closet!
I made up my mind right then and there to fire any bosses I might have in the future. I'm my own boss, which means I only answer to each individual client. So now I'm in the unique position that if I don't like you, I don't have to see you again. I will fight to keep students on the verge of quitting if I think they really have talent or, even if they don't, if they stand to greatly benefit from hanging out with me for half an hour a week! In other words, I'm a troubled individual who, even if I hadn't pursued music as a career, had more meaningful experiences with music/piano/clarinet/band teachers than with anyone else. I might not be able to fix all your problems. I'm not your "buddy." But we have a few minutes to talk about it, and at least while you're playing for a lesson you have something that, for now, is much more important than all that other garbage life/parents/school throws at you.
At least for one kindergartner, I'm the #1 cure for a stomach ache!
I think perhaps the best thing, as far as bosses go, or even having a boss, is that someone with AS try to work independently. I was always taught that you have to work for SOMEONE, that there is no success in working independently, that no man is an island, on and on. True, working with a mentor in a structured office setting is good for discipline and experience. But it doesn't truly inspire creativity or original thought. When I think of people who are hugely successful, they're always people who either couldn't cut it as an employee or couldn't settle for the status quo. Mozart died poor at a young age in part because he couldn't hack the wealthy social establishment, even though we was well positioned by his father to do so. Yet we consider him one of the greatest musical geniuses of the classical period--he wrote some awesome music! Did Einstein wait for anyone to tell him E=mc2? Of course not! I think he was just looking for a way to describe the amount of energy in matter and figured--duh!--relate it to the most powerful force in nature, at least what we're aware of. To us, it's obvious, but back then it was a (literally) ground breaking observation. In more present day terms, you have Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. They didn't wait for a boss to tell them what to do. They saw specific needs and went for it. As I recall, Jobs got fired by his own company, started a new company, developed a solid product, and was brought back after Apple figured out just how much of a mess they'd made.
I'm not saying all those people are AS, of course, but there are many examples of those who showed strong signs that they were--Thomas Jefferson comes to mind--and were indispensable in the course of human history. I think of AS as a gift, not curse, as I'm sure many here might agree. I don't like feeling someone owns me, which is probably why I've had so much trouble getting along with my employers. I like to be left alone to do my job and let the results speak for themselves. Most employers, I think, are more concerned with the political and economic ramifications of their business rather than the actual services they provide. Ambition drives them more so than connecting with real people.
But most people in general, I think, are more concerned with the task at hand. For me, it's about monitoring the progress of my piano students and deciding on what new skills need to be learned and when. My AS helps me do two social tasks well: I'm like that fatherly/grandfatherly/uncle type who can connect with younger children. I'm older and bigger, so they have to obey me. The other thing I do well is connect with much older people than me--those grandfatherly/grandmotherly types who will actually take the time to listen to younger people like myself (I'm 31, btw). It's easy for me to get support from either end of the age spectrum, and that's good for business. I struggle with people within 10 years of my age. It's like the slightly older of this group looks down on me (you're too stupid) and the slightly younger ignores me (you're weird/you don't get it). This group is problematic because they represent half my clientele, i.e. the people who write me checks on behalf of their kids!
So sure, I miss the steady income. What I don't miss is trying to figure out whether I'm a permanent employee or a temporary replacement because I miss out on social cues. I also enjoy being honest with the people I provide services for instead of wasting time trying to figure out what someone WANTS me to say. I'm lucky in that I don't face a lot of market saturation or competition (a little competition is always a good thing). I don't have to play stupid, childish games with grownups because I can just as easily let my clients go as they can me. And best of all, it's not an all-or-nothing kind of job. For me to "lose" this job, I'd have to get fired by 30 people all at once. As it is, I have time slots get filled just as quickly as they come open. Accountability? Sure. I'm responsible for providing the services I agree to. But part of that is that I have to hold my students responsible for their own learning. Hey, what a concept! Anyone out there think that might catch on in public/private schools? (NCLB is founded on the idea of TEACHER accountability, not the involvement of students and parents. While there are teachers out there who do NOT need to be in the system, the reality is that political and socio-economic factors serve to keep non-performing teachers in place while fresh, new, energetic, idealistic teachers are forced to struggle with workplaces that are inherently working against them. The worst-performing states will almost invariably be the ones with a high rate of turnover. You won't find any occupation, even teaching, that pays enough to justify taking on those kinds of known risks).
Where was I? Oh, yeah... I think because, while the rest of the world tends to be more no-man-is-an-island-oriented, we aspies tend to be more insular. I think that puts us at more risk for confrontation in traditional job settings, taking jobs because we believe the employer is being honest, and because we look at more situations being possible rather than what a NT would deem practical. I say if you if you can successfully find work in a NT world that still affords you your own space and restricted contact, go for it. What works best for me is my situation in which I actually have the final word!
08 Mar 2010, 4:45 am
