The Love Links List

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Help me make a list of links!

There's a lot of smart people on this board, a lot of good observations, a lot of patience, and a lot of experience to draw upon. And yet, it's only a message board, composed of the relatively small posts we briefly put together, scrolled away within a day. Some specific, niche topics are potentially very deep, and deserve more info than the contents of one or two peoples' replies.

Fortunately, this is the internet! Guides, FAQs, blogs, articles, essays, and videos abound.... And more still. Long-form media to cover deep, specific topics, often by a very thoughtful and credible author, are potentially a click away.

So I'm hoping we can collectively come up with a big list of links that lead to well-covered, detailed, topical information on:

Date Ideas,
Ice-Breakers,
Flirting Ideas,
Communication,
Body Language,
Eye Contact,
Do's & Don'ts,
Myths,
One-itis,
Let's Just Be Friends,
Self-Esteem,
Approach Anxiety,
Good Grooming,
Style Tips,
What He Wants,
What She Wants,
Online-Dating,
Break-ups & Recovery,
Feminism & Masculism,
Sex Life,
Relationship Health,
Married Life,
First Times,
Love & Faith,
etc,
Etc,
Etc!

Could we Google this stuff ourselves? Sure. But that doesn't mean we'll stumble on a good link. So let's pool our resources and make a solid list. Post up a link, tell us it's rough category, and a thought regarding the link if you've got one. If you've got favorites, I'd love to read it. As long as you think it's good, the more, the better.

PS: Post the url itself, so the link is easy to see, and we know the domain before clicking. And please try to have a specific link if you reply.

Last edited by Sound on 11 Mar 2010, 9:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.

[citation removed - M.]

Let's choose something random from the list: Feminism & Masculism

Uh oh. I'm a straight guy, in my experience it is a bad idea for straight guys to enter conversations about gender unless they are annoying politically correct which I am not. Women and gays love making up gender constructs to confuse straight guys in a conversation (that was totally not a generalization) to the point of getting into some confusion like this http://www.firelily.com/gender/gianna/ftm.mtf.html.

Women and gays will tell you that a guy who undergoes a sex change operation is a woman, although South Park really was on to something when they said that a guy undergoes a sex change operation is really just a guy with a mutilated penis. Just don't tell that to someone who would actually watch the Lifetime TV network.

Interesting idea...
Oh and Sound I put a long reply to you in that old "Questions for aspie males...GF" thread and then the thread died, dunno if you saw it but it was a lot of work so check it out if you have a minute. We could probably put that one to bed but I at least wanted you to see that one post.

Hi Sound - I've just written a piece on Relationships that covers autistic/AS relationships, links to specific forums/relationship sites, autism/AS related books and movies as well as the latest research on relationships. Every Friday I make additions to this. Not sure how helpful it will be, but hope it's useful:
http://aspie-editorial.blog-city.com/re ... hips_1.htmhttp://http://aspie-editorial.blog-city.com/relationships_1.htm

Category: Body Language & Flirting!
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/23/health/23mind.html

New York Times did a rather basic article on the subtle, but enormous, power of touch.
It's a good intro, but the topic of touch is huge, and is very important for flirting!

Looks like you're misunderstanding - Masculism doesn't have anything to do with homosexuality. Where Feminism deals with feminine identity and womens' rights, Masculism is male identity and men's rights(such as biased child custody laws).

It may seem out-of-place in a male-dominated society, but the fact is that that patterns in gender roles, etc, have been in upheaval, even if you're focusing only on heterosexuals. A category of academic thought dedicated to exploring the shifting and emergent identity of manhood today is very important. A 'place' to deal in the details of the common male psyche and culture has great potential for addressing major world issues, such as the unconscionable rate of incidence of rape in the world.

This is an excellent idea, Sound. If your idea pans out, I propose that this thread be 'stickied'.

Very interesting article at CNN about the anatomical differences between male and female brains (impacting behavior related to love and sex):

http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/03/23/b ... tml?hpt=C2

A few highlights:

Men and Emotion
"Studies of men's faces show that the male brain's initial emotional reaction can be stronger than the female brain's. But within 2.5 seconds, he changes his face to hide the emotion, or even reverse it. The repeated practice of hiding his emotions gives men the classic poker face."

The "Man Trance"
"If testosterone were beer, a 9-year-old boy would be getting the equivalent of a cup a day. But a 15-year-old would be getting the equivalent of nearly two gallons a day. This fuels their sexual engines and makes it impossible for them to stop thinking about female body parts and sex. All that testosterone drives the "Man Trance"-- that glazed-eye look a man gets when he sees breasts."

Falling in Love
"Despite stereotypes to the contrary, the male brain can fall in love just as hard and fast as the female brain, and maybe more so. When he meets and sets his sights on capturing "the one," mating with her becomes his prime directive. And when he succeeds, his brain makes an indelible imprint of her. Lust and love collide and he's hooked."

"Lonely Hearts" Club
"Not only is the mature male brain more receptive to closer bonds, but it's also more sensitive to loneliness. Nobody thrives when they're lonely, but it seems to take a major toll on older men....unless he makes a point of socializing more with other people, his brain stops getting the social workout it needs to make him feel good about himself. If he becomes a loner, his social-approval circuits don't get activated."

Last edited by HopeGrows on 25 Mar 2010, 1:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've found that there is plenty of self-help articles floating around on the internet that deal with resources for those who lack romantic capabilities.

And while we are at it, could we make this a sticky?

As I've done in the past - if a topic shows itself to continue to be active for awhile, or if sufficient consensus is reached, I will sticky a thread. That sticky is not permanent, and may be taken down at any time by Alex or another moderator. Keep this going, and I'll keep an eye on it. As long as it is active, it will remain at the top of the thread list.


M.

http://www.ravenkaldera.org/activism/feminist.html

The above article is an account of how testosterone feels, written by a female-to-male transsexual. I've read a few other accounts like this and it's interesting when certain male behaviors suddenly "makes sense" to someone -- the point being that if you're male it can be surprising to realize that someone could be surprised.

Category: Nice Guys
"Nice Guys"

This website, catering primarily for women who consider themselves strong(and possibly a little bitter), dedicates a section directed at the self-professed 'Nice Guy.'
Good reading, a cold wake-up for a lot of us guys. It doesn't reflect all women, but there's lot of truth on that page. A little insight into why women choose a guy who might seem, at first glance, like a jerk.

Category: Style & Grooming
http://www.haircutsformen.org/

I've used this site quite a few times. Grew out my hair long, so that I could have more flexibility to get a more interesting cut & style. It has a good set of galleries for different 'types' of hair. Very good for getting your bearings! Also, there's a 'Tips & Advice' section on hygiene stuff, like shaving and skin care, which I found useful. Also has a handy forum.


...I'd like to request folks to please try not to reply in this thread unless you have a link, and to try and give your link a brief category, as best you can figure it.

I just wanted to send a direct link to an article on the heartless [] site about so-called nice guys. It basically says everything I've been saying, only from a woman's own mouth.

"Nice Guys" article

Just a reminder - if the URL contains profanity, please give it an appropriate name for display in the forum itself. I have renamed the two previous links due to their language content.


M.

Category: Sex Life, Do's and Don'ts, What He Wants, What She Wants

I like Em and Lo - it's an interesting site filled with information, advice, feedback, etc. about love, sex, relationships.

Em and Lo: Sex. Love. And Everything in Between.
http://www.emandlo.com/

Category: Many....
Leadership, fostering respect, charisma, positive framing, motivation, life skills...
http://www.hulu.com/the-long-green-line
It's a documentary about a high school cross country team, and their coach.

So why put this is the L&D section??
Because for many of us, our challenge with L&D isn't so much about the opposite sex, or "finding the one that's right for me." More often, to my eyes, it's about ourselves, and setting ourselves up for success... or failure. Or how you deal with inevitable defeat, disappointment, how you pick yourself back up after falling. Persistence, good attitude, optimism, commitment, responsibility.... Putting those things fully into action makes a great person.
And people want to be around great people.