Is this ADHD? AS? both? something else?

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I was having a bad week last week, just too much going on to work out, so i basically did no work.

I sat at work doing anything other than what needed to be done, i'd read WP, i'd read some email mailshots, read about some new legislation.

I knew work needed doing, just no particular item seemed important enough at that moment, almost as though each item needed to break a threshold of importance or urgency or just cause me enough of a problem to jolt me into action.

Later in the week i was feeling dowen about having too much to do, but still basically didn't do much. I needed to get a mothers day card for my wife, but decided i was too busy to go out at lunch to do it. We were going to my parents for the weekend and they were going shopping saturday, so i had most of the day to my self and would get a card then. I was planning to go skating 3-6ish so would go get a card then go skating. It turned out they didn't leave until about 3pm, so i went straight to skating, it wasn't on (didn't check times, just assumed it used to be on then when i used to live here), so i drove around for a while wondering what to do, drove to the cinema (and went in...) then decided it was too late to see something, so i went to a shop for a look around then went home. It was about 11am on sunday when i realised i didn't have a card, not much i could do about it and sort of thought i'd get some flowers or something when we got back or something.

Late sunday night my wife is in tears becuase i didn't treat mothers day like a big deal, didn't get her a card and reasoned i couldn't have forgot becuase we were at my parents specifically for mothers day, didn't get a present, make a fuss of her, offer to look after our daughter or anything. All of this is true.

Things i don't understand

why did i do no work? it made me feel worse to have lots to do and i knew this at the time
why didn't i get a card during the week? sure i was busy but i wasbn't actually working, so losing 1 hour would make no difference, why wait til saturday?
why didn't i think about getting a present? at all
why did i forget a card on saturday? i was looking forward to skating and that took over, my plans were thrown off by them leaving late and skating not being on, but that's no excuse and i'd hardly planned it properly, i didn't ask what time they were goign, i didn't check skating, i had no plan for where or when i was actually going to get a card.
why didn't i realise earlier i didn't have a card on mothers day?
when i did realise, why didn't i realise it was a big deal and i screwed up and needed to fix it, i could have appologised, i could have promised to buy some flowers when we got back, i could have made breakfast or looked after our daughter or anything.

I am a logical methodical person, i knew the facts, yet i completely messed it up. I know i have an issue with other peoples emotions and feelings and not putting enough weight on things others find important, so that could be part of it. I struggle to remember things and keep my mind on track due to the amount of stuff going on at the moment so that could be part of it, i struggle to start some things and keep putting them off, so that's part of it.

I'm just not sure if this is clearly a specific issue, a few issues together or something else. Did i just not care like everything else in life? i'm starting to worry i really don't care about anything other than what i need and want and what i have to do to have an easy life.

Sounds to me like a mixture of procrastination and apathy.

If you have things that need doing by a certain date, then you need to put that task in your calendar or make yourself a note and then set aside some time to do that task and don't put it off unless there is an emergency. This is the only way I get stuff done on time, otherwise, nothing would happen.

Also, I find it better to do things when I think of them and not just go 'I'll do it later' cause then it never gets done. I am still working on this one as I am a chronic procrastinator. It's tough.

I've been in that situation at work many times. I just find I can't concentrate on it and prefer to do something that interests me. That's why I don't allow myself to go on the internet. My boss is pretty laid back but I can get so absorbed in these forums and Facebook applications that getting back to work would be difficult.

I think a lot of those next questions have to do with memory problems. I'm usually good at remembering stuff but lately I've let a few important thing slip my mind. I went out to post a letter but forgot the letter. I didn't remember where my new health care card was and so my mum got angry at me when I was at the doctors. I leave things on in the house that make the electricity bill oh so more expensive. I forget that I have food in the oven and burn it. The list goes on and on.

I think a good way to deal with this is to make lists from now on. Usually if something important needs to be done I do that first and do pleasurable activities after I have done that important task. Like today I hung out laundry and cleaned my room before going on this forum.

As someone who experiences both AS and ADHD symptoms sometimes I can be organized and sometimes I just forget about doing things. I'm thinking this issue is more ADHD, though the situation at work could be either AS/ADHD.