Living on your own terms/Not caring what other people do

Page 1 of 3 [ 37 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

therange
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 959
Location: Not at Spike's house.

21 Mar 2010, 7:11 pm

I noticed a lot of Aspies on here seem to have a gripe with NTs, and there's a lot of NT bashing. I'm not even saying I disagree with a lot of what is said - there is a lot of truth to it, but I guess my point is, why do NTs or people that don't understand matter?

At my core, even if I could change the things about me that needed to be changed in order to be able to function normally in society as far as having a full-time job, blending in, etc., I'm a guy that likes being at home more often than not, and if not for my music projects, liking to occasionally dine out, liking to clothes shop, liking to be seen with nice clothes, and having errards to do, I would never leave the house. I have no ambition to travel to exotic islands for a vacation. In fact, I'd really just like to see more of the United States, places like Seattle, Arizona, LA. I don't drive, and even if/when I get my license whenever I move and live in a more carefree driving area (my area is like a mini Boston or New York as far as traffic and stopping and going) I won't care about what kind of car I drive. Will likely just get any 10 year old car that has good mileage.

In other words, I don't require a lot of money to survive. My mom is a good cook, but a lot of the time, I eat microwaveable macaroni and cheese, cans of soup, and take-out pizza and calzones.

I understand there are some people on here that want to live the so-called "normal" life...want a family and kids, expensive things, a house, etc., but for those who don't, why worry what NTs are doing or thinking?

It reminds me of people into politics who follow it like sports and waste time and energy getting mad at the other side. What's the point?

Moreover, I don't mind in the meantime being seen by a few non-understanding members of my family as the grown man living with his parents and not working. Anyone who has truly sat down and heard my story knows that I have endured and survived more than most would be able to handle if put in the same situation as myself. Does it bother me when someone notices my awkwardness in public (which doesn't even happen as often anymore now that I'm displaying more confidence)...of course it does. But I don't let it dictate my life.

I know some people will say "Don't you want independence?" The way I see it, I am independent in other ways. Sure, I rely on my parents for food, clothing and shelter, but I'm free of the bullsh*t that most other people choose to put up with (Aspies and NTs alike) so they can project an image of being a functioning member of society. I don't have any kids, any bills for unnecessary things, and I don't require much to survive.

For the Aspies that want the American Dream, I'm not criticizing you. But for those who don't, why does the small stuff matter?



Rainbow-Squirrel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,093
Location: Siena, Italy

21 Mar 2010, 7:15 pm

therange wrote:
why do NTs or people that don't understand matter?


Because you have to interact with them ?



Eggman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,676

21 Mar 2010, 7:15 pm

I dont care that they are not like me, just when they act against me because I am not like them.


_________________
Pwning the threads with my mad 1337 skillz.


therange
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 959
Location: Not at Spike's house.

21 Mar 2010, 7:23 pm

Rainbow-Squirrel wrote:
therange wrote:
why do NTs or people that don't understand matter?


Because you have to interact with them ?


That's my point, you don't have to. Even if you don't have the luxury of having understanding parents/family, or you want to live on your own...there are jobs that don't require interacting with NTs. If you don't have a social life, or just a bunch of scattered friends, you don't have to be around NTs.



pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

21 Mar 2010, 7:28 pm

I don't really care that much. I like NT's. I wish I could be as social as them sometimes but I'm doing a lot better on my own. I have a job that requires minimal social interaction and I can go at my own pace. I can spend times on my special interests and then go out and waste a few hours talking about nothing while killing my liver with alcohol. Then I go back home and avoid social interaction for the next few weeks.
Sometimes I go out of my way to show my differences. Sometimes I dress differently because I feel like being an ass. I can dress nicely too but that's usually when I feel like it. Usually I just wear pretty casual clothes that make me look like a 12 year old boy.

I think you should eat more healthier. And I think people should take more notice of politics. It's not just about hating the opposite side, like a sports team. It's about taking a stand and letting those fat cat conservatives that they can't just walk over us. Really, wouldn't people want to have a say in what is decided by the government? It affects every part of your life as long as you live in that country.
The fact that I'm political makes me different from my NT friends and family. They couldn't give a rats about politics.


_________________
My band photography blog - http://lostthroughthelens.wordpress.com/
My personal blog - http://helptheywantmetosocialise.wordpress.com/


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,254
Location: Pacific Northwest

21 Mar 2010, 7:30 pm

When I lived with my family, I spent most of my time in the basement with my computer, video games and TV. Then when I lived with my aunt and uncle, I spent my time in the bedroom I slept in with my video games, laptop and TV. Now I have my husband and I spend my time in the living room while he plays his computer game in the bedroom.


You have to remember, some parents force their kids to interact with them and it makes it hard for the aspie to live with them. Luckily mine didn't force me.



PunkyKat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 May 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,492
Location: Kalahari Desert

21 Mar 2010, 7:31 pm

I hated being everyone else's puppet as a child as an adult no one can force me to do anything I do not want to do. I refuse to do anything if it is not on my own terms or I do not have a say in it. Everything I do, say and wear is on MY terms and no one elses. If people don't like the way I look or the way I dress or how and what I talk about they can jump in a lake. I don't care what others think of me.



therange
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 959
Location: Not at Spike's house.

21 Mar 2010, 7:35 pm

[quote="pensieve"] It's about taking a stand and letting those fat cat conservatives that they can't just walk over us. [quote]

This is what I mean by hatred. Why not just have your own beliefs without insulting the other side? Everyone I know that's into politics vehemently hates and bashes the other side.



pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

21 Mar 2010, 7:43 pm

therange wrote:
pensieve wrote:
It's about taking a stand and letting those fat cat conservatives that they can't just walk over us.
Quote:

This is what I mean by hatred. Why not just have your own beliefs without insulting the other side? Everyone I know that's into politics vehemently hates and bashes the other side.

What I meant was the Australian Liberal Party. You being from the U.S of A would not know much about them. Not once has that party nor any of its supporters done anything for this country.
Never will I bow down to a Liberal. And oh well, so I bash? I really don't care. I hate them with a passion.
I ain't that fond of Republicans or Democrats either.


_________________
My band photography blog - http://lostthroughthelens.wordpress.com/
My personal blog - http://helptheywantmetosocialise.wordpress.com/


therange
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 959
Location: Not at Spike's house.

21 Mar 2010, 7:51 pm

Oh, ok.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,753
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

21 Mar 2010, 8:08 pm

I live life on my terms. I do my own thing. I don't hurt anybody, and nobody hurts me.


_________________
The Family Enigma


Eggman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,676

21 Mar 2010, 8:11 pm

you can allways live on your own with no interction with others in a cave in the Grand Canyon


_________________
Pwning the threads with my mad 1337 skillz.


therange
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 959
Location: Not at Spike's house.

21 Mar 2010, 8:21 pm

I get along very well with my parents and my brother who is a year younger than me. And I have things in common with them unlike the majority of the world that I choose not to associate with.



Odin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,475
Location: Moorhead, Minnesota, USA

21 Mar 2010, 8:49 pm

Because you have to interact with the rest of the world. Aristotle famously quipped that those who are not a part of a society must either be beasts or gods.

I like my interactions with my friends, it's BIG groups I don't like.


_________________
My Blog: My Autistic Life


riverspark
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2009
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 287

21 Mar 2010, 9:54 pm

therange, I wish I were more like you. Do you or anyone else know of any good books, websites, or tips that can help teach me how to not be bothered so much by what other people think? This feeling of not living up to society's expectations is poisoning me from the inside out. I would do more with my life if I could, but I'm just not able to. I feel bad enough already about this without NTs rubbing salt into my wounds. I just want to be myself and feel okay about being myself. Thanks. :)



Shadwell
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Dec 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 568
Location: St. Louis, Missouri

21 Mar 2010, 10:31 pm

pensieve wrote:
I don't really care that much. I like NT's. I wish I could be as social as them sometimes but I'm doing a lot better on my own. I have a job that requires minimal social interaction and I can go at my own pace. I can spend times on my special interests and then go out and waste a few hours talking about nothing while killing my liver with alcohol. Then I go back home and avoid social interaction for the next few weeks.
Sometimes I go out of my way to show my differences. Sometimes I dress differently because I feel like being an ass. I can dress nicely too but that's usually when I feel like it. Usually I just wear pretty casual clothes that make me look like a 12 year old boy.

I think you should eat more healthier. And I think people should take more notice of politics. It's not just about hating the opposite side, like a sports team. It's about taking a stand and letting those fat cat conservatives that they can't just walk over us. Really, wouldn't people want to have a say in what is decided by the government? It affects every part of your life as long as you live in that country.
The fact that I'm political makes me different from my NT friends and family. They couldn't give a rats about politics.


It's pretty much ubiquitous that politicians and corporations suck. I hear Australia has a decent, better than Canada's, universal health system though. The US just passed some "health reform," that totally helps the parasitic health insurance companies. f**k the US government.