Are you blunt when you want people to get to the point?

Page 1 of 2 [ 29 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

tweety_fan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Oct 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,555

26 Mar 2010, 9:39 pm

When people at work ask me to do something and go on and on for longer then necessary, I tend to behave in a way that is described as "blunt"
as in saying "okay, I will do it" in a way that says just let me do it already!

I guess they don't want to give me stuff I can't do or too much work to do.
but the thing is there are days where I get very little work to do. The work they give me is not difficult. If it was I would ask for help.

maybe I believe in the dilbert rule
" the longer spent describing a task the worse it usually is"


How do you behave when you want people to get to the point?



pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

26 Mar 2010, 9:43 pm

"Just get to the freaking point!" J/K
I find I am blunt too when I just want people to tell me want they want done, or even if they're telling me how their day was. My mum always tells me a bunch of random and unnecessary info when I just want her to get to the point.
I guess to answer your question: I'm impatient and irritable when I want someone to get to the point.


_________________
My band photography blog - http://lostthroughthelens.wordpress.com/
My personal blog - http://helptheywantmetosocialise.wordpress.com/


sinsboldly
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon

26 Mar 2010, 9:49 pm

I have learned that sometimes people are talking and HAVE NO POINT to get to. No, really! They are just yakking for the 'social' ness of it all. Matter of fact, they think being 'sociable' is MORE IMPORTANT than having a point, they think that being social IS the $#%@! point.

And I fall for it every time, too, thinking that they really have something to communicate.

Merle



pumibel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Mar 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,477

26 Mar 2010, 10:06 pm

I learned in business communication class that certain countries, like Japan, have cultural norms that dictate all business transactions should begin with a small amount of socializing, like tea and talking about the weather, etc. Even in business letters to the Japanese you are supposed to open with something innocuous like a comment about the weather or other pleasantries, then you state the purpose of the letter. I wonder if there are many Japanese Aspies and how they feel about those rules. :lol:



Julia_the_Great
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 292
Location: New England

26 Mar 2010, 10:47 pm

I have occasionally yelled at people (including teachers and other authority figures) but usually I feel like that would be the pot calling the kettle black as I'm a self proclaimed tangent monster.


_________________
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
Dalai Lama


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,297
Location: Pacific Northwest

26 Mar 2010, 10:59 pm

Probably. When I lost my baby, I was having a ultra sound done to see if it was a miscarriage or if they are a few weeks behind. I knew it was a miscarriage. But the doctor comes back and he is talking doing that small talk crap. I finally asked "Did I have a miscarriage?" and he said "Looks like it." I just wanted him to tell me the fricken news than stalling. So I sped it up.



Danielismyname
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2007
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,565

26 Mar 2010, 11:49 pm

I'm always blunt.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,734
Location: the island of defective toy santas

27 Mar 2010, 12:00 am

general george s. patton said "when i want something to stick, i give it to 'em loud and dirty." i wonder if he had any aspie traits himself? anyways, i am closer to the opposite end of the spectrum, more retiring [but still too loud] when it comes to this point. people either get my meaning or they don't, but i keep on keeping on regardless. it seems the more i try to explain things the cloudier things are perceived by others, until everything is "clear as mud." so one can see the futility of making yet more baroque diagrams for folk who refuse to catch my meaning.



LittleTigger
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 814

27 Mar 2010, 12:16 am

I wonder if this is why I get distracted and
wander away from people sometimes.

I am told that I wander off for "no reason"
beczu *I fon't dinerstand their point.


_________________
A Boy And His Cat

When society stops expecting
too much from me, I will
stop disappointing them.


Philologos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jan 2010
Age: 82
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,987

27 Mar 2010, 12:20 am

I can be very impatient with it, especially on the phone [why grease the social skids if you are not even there?].

BUT - it cuts both ways. Ihave found myself trying to explan something important to an NT type who just wants me to cut to the chase.

I want to get to the data - just the facts, ma'am - with none of the empty preliminaries. THEY want to go straight [after the niceties] to the bottom line, have the conclusion without the evidence. So they look for the top slice of bread and the bottom, and we only want the filling. And we each complain about the other wasting time yakking trivia.



ASgirl
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 244
Location: UK

27 Mar 2010, 3:15 am

i'm very blunt and direct and expect people to be so as well. otherwise i can get impatient or confused. people who do not know me may mistaken my bluntness as abruptness.



b9
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,003
Location: australia

27 Mar 2010, 7:50 am

when i am impatient for a person to finish their description of what they wish to tell me, i usually take over the conversation and give them a list of possibilities as to the ultimate meaning of their intended message that i have gleaned from their preambling waffle, and i present those alternatives to them and ask them to say merely "yes" or "no" to the summaries i present.

sometimes i preface the alternatives with "A" and "B" and "C" etc, and at the end of my upload of alternatives to their mind, i ask them to pick the letter that fits.

if none fit then i refuse to discuss the mater with them further and i generally ask to be given paperwork that is pertinent to their attempted description.

i have little time to spare for other peoples descriptions and it is a problem for me.



leejosepho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

27 Mar 2010, 8:01 am

sinsboldly wrote:
I have learned that sometimes ... they think that being social IS the $#%@! point.

And I fall for it every time, too ...


I hear you there, yet I feel sad for people like that who have nothing greater to offer.


_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================


DavidM
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 400
Location: UK

27 Mar 2010, 8:16 am

I hate it when people working in offices say they will do something and then don't - for hours and hours and days and days and sometimes even for weeks and weeks, they just don't bother.

Makes me think that office 'workers' don't actually do much 'work' in the conventional sense, although they are typing away at their keyboards and chatting on the phone all day long.



b9
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,003
Location: australia

27 Mar 2010, 8:21 am

leejosepho wrote:
I hear you there, yet I feel sad for people like that who have nothing greater to offer.


it is only you who are judging the quality of what they have to offer.
i can not tune in easily to the offerings presented to me, but i never would describe those offerings as lesser or greater.
if i was in the life of the offerer, i would see that as much effort is expended in the insufficient offering by them as is expended in the offerings from a better equipped mind.
actions and effort are more important to me than achievements.

every offering is great and i am the blind one. i always know that.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 117,816
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

27 Mar 2010, 8:36 am

I can be very blunt, at times. If a guy sits close to me, and I've that he's trouble, I tell him that he'd better not make a move on me. I can also be blunt about how most young women dress, these days, but not to their faces.


_________________
The Family Enigma