I think that up until I was 21 or so I had limerence for all of my (few) close
friends regardless of gender which is the original basis for believing myself
to have natural bi sexual orientation. When I was 5 or 6 years old and my
first best friend moved away, I recall saying "My (*) will go crazy without you".
* = A made-up name for an imaginary machine
When I was 14, the real manifestation of that machine was shut down for
the duration of the hospitalization of a close friend. I was in an autistic
school program and others were aware of the machine and knew what
it was for and even how to use it. That was near the end of the period
where I imported imaginary machines into reality and the beginning of
using that self-taught skill to invent things that were useful. On the day
that my friend was hospitalized I invented another machine that spoke with a
human voice (not Speak and Spell voice), and didn't know what had
happened to my friend until I tried to call him to tell him about it.
The particular machine is almost beyond explanation, and its basis
and purpose is related to a naive theory of why people love each
other. If I could sum it up in one peculiar sentence:
Clark Kent walks into a phone box and becomes Superman by
Turning On the Power of Love. Lois Lane doesn't love Clark.
So "the machine" is inspired by qualitative limerence
and meant to be a generator of a human physical attraction force,
believing that I alone was missing a natural one.
It took me too long to figure out that Clark Kent not only looked unattractive,
but was also intentionally suppressing his attractiveness. I also didn't notice
that Lois Lane was indifferent to Clark. I didn't understand the secret identity
concept as anything more than costume. I am speaking of the 1940s and 1970s
television and movie Superman example. All I thought about why women
might love men is because they are strong, and I assumed that if they didn't
like me then I must be wimpy. And dumbbells didn't seem to help.