Eye contact quirk

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For a long time I had a lot of trouble making eye contact and was barely even aware it was expected of me. When people would complain, I thought they were just being as*holes.

I've been working on it for the past few years but it is hard to maintain for any length of time. I couldn't stare at the sun anymore than do it for more than a few seconds.

Lately I notice that I will close my left eye when people ask me questions and I'm making eye contact with them. Whenever I drop contact, I will almost always look down and to the left. Perhaps it is because I favor one eye over the other, or maybe more about how my mind processes a conversation?

hey there, im an undiagnosed f**ed up individual who seems to find himself really really "at home" on this forum. i haven't experienced what your saying, but eye contact for some reason had an adverse effect on me until a few years ago(not sure why it stopped). But before, when my eyes line up just right with somebody else, it was like my eyes locked on and i found myself unable to look away despite being aware. back in these days i was also able to look into my own eyes in the mirror, but instead of locking on it was like i sensed at threat, almost looking at my inner self, who somehow seemed threatening. whatever the reason neither of these happen anymore, and now when i look in the mirror i dont sense a threat anymore.. related? maybe somebody on here knows something about this.
anyway it doesnt suprise me at all that you have a issue lookin people in the eyes, i hated that "lock on" every-time.

if they are nice people [or if they treat me nicely], i "fall into" their eyes, almost like a waking trance but with some awareness of what they are saying but not the same awareness i'd have if i were listening to them over a PA system or radio. IOW a nice person can hypnotise me to a degree, can almost convince me that black is white and up is down. these people smile with their eyes.
but if they are evil people [sociopaths] i cannot tolerate looking into their eyes, it is like looking into an abyss of horror. evil folk have mirthless smiles but unsmiling eyes like laser beams which when they hit you feels like they are burning, not physically but mentally/psychologically into your inner psyche, like they are trying to control your mind. not a good feeling.

for me, it's not that looking into someone's eyes is painful, or disturbing. I can do it with my wife and children easily. I relax into them. For others, even my brother or mother, I can't do it for long. It's just that I am *most comfortable* fixating on something else other than their face or eyes while I am talking to them.

In fact, until I few years ago I didn't know that I was doing anything weird by not fixating on their eyes. I didn't think eye contact had *anything* to do with conversation. This said, I've learned to force myself in certain situations. At scientific conferences, when I'm presenting a poster of my data, or giving a talk, or doing an interview, I make eye contact. I'd just rather not be and find myself relieved when I can go sit by myself for a while afterwards.

I had to learn to "fake it". A psychology professor I talked to in college about having some difficulty in interviews picked up on it right away and taught me how to fake it. It comes in very handy because I'm only able to *really* look ppl in the eye if I am *very* comfortable with them. Like, maybe 5 people. And even then, it's for a short time before it starts to become uncomfortable. I can't even tell you what it is that makes me uncomfortable about it. It just does.

~Kate

i think this could just be an anxiety thing. i dont look people in the eye most of the time exept my close freinds and family, i dont look others in the eye unless i feel very at ease around them or if we are outside

With me, I can only look very close friends, teachers/professors and family members in the eye. Anyone else makes me uncomfortable.

I like to look people in the eye. I can size them up pretty quickly. For example, I can tell if they find me repulsive or contemptible, based on their eyes and facial expression, far more easily than simply by listening to what they say.

I can also tell what people think of me, when I look them in the eye.

I also have a hard time with eye contact. It just feels awkward for me to look someone in the eye when I'm talking to them.

I've had to make sure I maintain eye contact for the appropriate length of time. The average American maintains eye contact an average of 3-5sec (may be different in other countries). I tap my toes (not my foot) to count out the seconds. If I get to five sec, I take a fleeting glance at the wall or at my toes. No one has accused me of staring for months now.