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rosiemaphone
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09 Apr 2010, 2:09 pm

I'm constantly paranoid. My brain will never shut up, if someone says something to me I can spend the next two hours overanalysing what it means, what they mean, whether it means they hate me, etc. It sometimes doesn't take anything at all for me to think I've annoyed or upset someone, and then I worry about it constantly until I find out for definite than I haven't. I don't usually understand some of the subtler facial expressions and then, wham, paranoia kicks in (does it mean they hate me, does it mean they think I'm disgusting, etc.) Unfortunately when I worry about these things I'm too much of a coward to approach the person and ask them about it; the few times I have done this I have been physically shaking. It wouldn't bother me too much if there was any rational reason for it but most of the time I find out I haven't actually done anything wrong!

The worst time for me is the school holidays, I have little or no contact with my schoolfriends over the holidays as I go to a boarding school, so distance is an issue. After about the first week, I start thinking that the entire school has turned against me and that has been going on in my head for days now. I try to challenge these thoughts as ridiculous and illogical, but it doesn't work. The reason it doesn't work, I think, is because I keep thinking oh, last time this didn't happen, but this time it will, so prepare for the worst. Plus, my school is my absolute favourite place, I love the people there, it completely turned my life around so the thought that they have turned against me is quite scary.

Does anyone else get paranoid or know any good ways of stopping this? By the way, stopping caring about what people think isn't an option, believe me, I've tried, and I can't make myself not care. The times I've tried this all I've just pretended I don't care which made me appear to be quite a nasty person, and of course I was only pretending so it hurt just as much.



pumibel
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09 Apr 2010, 3:14 pm

DO you go to therapy? Talk therapy would be good for you since you get to discuss all these things with someone who can help you understand your feelings and dispel some fears.



Jellybean
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09 Apr 2010, 3:23 pm

I do sometimes suffer from paranoia, although my therapist told me that my paranoia is 'justified'. Still unhealthy but brought up by past experiences. Any paranoia is bad so you should definately talk to someone just in case it gets worse, but I think it is a common problem, especially for girls on the spectrum.

My father suffered from paranoia and trust me it is not nice, not for the sufferer and not for their kid... especially when their paranoia is that some man in a white van is going to snatch their kid away... the kid was me. How many blooming vans I ran away from as a kid!! !


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CockneyRebel
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09 Apr 2010, 3:27 pm

I get paranoid, when I have to take the garbage out, after I eat my supper. A lot of NT teenagers hang around my area, past 5 in the evening. I was bullied and tormented by such kids, in High School. I just grit my teeth and take the garbage out.


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rosiemaphone
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09 Apr 2010, 3:39 pm

pumibel and Jellybean, I don't go to therapy, it's never really helped me in the past and nowadays I am far better than I used to be so I don't really need it. These things that go on in my head are annoying and tiring for me, but not damaging enough to warrant therapy. I don't really like talking about these things in too much detail, although people around me know that I am quite paranoid, I wouldn't want to waste their time with it. Also, I'm worried they'd judge me for it, and nowadays I see talking to people about my problems as selfish and weak.

CockneyRebel, I can totally identify with that. Every time I walk past a gang of teenagers I start to panic in my head. For those situations I also grit my teeth and bear it.



Taupey
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09 Apr 2010, 3:58 pm

I agree with the others, it would be a good idea to discuss this with your psychologist/mental health worker. I have trust issues because of my childhood and I have felt different from others most of my life. So your friends at school, did they ever actually exclude you from them because of your AS/Autism? Has this happened to you before at a different school? Because I was excluded from other children when they played and hungout together. That was not something my mind created on it's own, it was reality. They talked about me, made fun of my clothes, called me names, etc... That can make anyone wonder if its going to happen again, once you're around new people.



Shebakoby
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09 Apr 2010, 3:59 pm

It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you.



DavidM
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09 Apr 2010, 4:30 pm

I have such bad paranoia that I am diagnosed with schizotypal.

It's not truly psychotic, creepy, far-out space aliens or government agents trying to kill me paranoia but more like a constant feeling that people don't like me or think I'm crap.

And the worst thing is that even although I know it's irrational, there are times when I just can't stop it.

It is every bit as debilitating as AS itself.



Descartes
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09 Apr 2010, 4:52 pm

I also tend to get paranoid. For example, whenever I'm hearing people talking and giggling behind me I sometimes can't help but think they're talking about me. I'm always worried that people are judging my appearance even though I know there are people around who look way worse than I do. I usually can't go into big rooms with lots of people without thinking that there's someone in there who's judging me. Yes, I'm very paranoid. :(



Willard
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09 Apr 2010, 5:02 pm

You're just trying to get me to reveal something with this post, aren't you? So you can use it against me later. Well, don't think I can't see right through that!


I can tell when I'm being baited, just so everyone can make fun of me - because you all think I'm weird and you just laugh at me behind my back! :evil:


Don't say it isn't true - I'm not stupid, you know. :roll:



I can't help it if I stim all the time...it's not like I'm hurting anybody with it... :oops:


I'm not paranoid just because I notice things. I saw you smirking. I know you hate me.








^You mean like that? Yeah, sometimes I stay that way for a week at a time, until I have a meltdown and get it out of my system...and I'm never sure what really sets it off in the first place...it just comes on me out of nowhere and suddenly I'm upset and angry about an apparent offense that usually turns out to be nothing, except what I read into the situation...

Descartes wrote:
I also tend to get paranoid. For example, whenever I'm hearing people talking and giggling behind me I sometimes can't help but think they're talking about me.


Oh, crike! I had one of those moments just an hour or so ago...



DavidM
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09 Apr 2010, 5:34 pm

Nah.

Guys, paranoia proper isn't the same as anxiety, or spells of insecurity or awkwardness or embarrassment or self-doubt that EVERYBODY experiences from time to time.

Paranoia is irrational negative thoughts and fears that interfere with social interaction. It is a chronic disease. It can only be cured by things like true spirituality, enlightenment, DRUGS, and having sex with a girl that really likes you.



superboyian
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09 Apr 2010, 6:07 pm

I used to get paranoid back when I used to be bullied, I would get paranoid thinking everybody in the world hates me, what if I step outside my door, everyone would want to beat me up or when I talk to people, I would put people off.

You could always try opposite thinking, it does work and think what people say is just words, it can't hurt, develop a stronger skin for yourself like a natural shining armour and it would protect you from most things. Social is like climbing up mountains for us but in the end, the ones who actually goes on and on always end up making it till the end.

Also this is saving time and money and you'll probably find that's its better than spending money just to get rid of paranoia.


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Moog
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09 Apr 2010, 6:20 pm

I'm totally paranoid.


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oliverthered
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09 Apr 2010, 7:36 pm

I told the shrink I was paranoid and got diagnoses with schizophrenia, when infact I 'only' had anxiety, all be it with the extream levels of fear associated with autistic spectrum.

I also get 'positive' anxiety and believe my general anxiety is in-fact just ADHD symptoms, basically racing thought and when I'm feeling good they are really good and when I'm in a bad situation they are really bad.

If I take stimulants the anxiety goes away.

I do sometimes get a much more severer anxiety state brought on by emotional trauma and not just the unknown (not knowing how other people are going to respond). I've found a little bit of ketamine carefully timed fixes that in a hour max. (Before ketamine it's taken me almost 2 years on occasion to pull myself out of it using CBT techniques).

The difference between clinical Anxiety and clinical Paranoia is that anxiety (however sever) is based on something that has happened in reality, or past experience (e.g. being bullied). Paranoia has to be founded outside of reality, it's a form of psychosis.



isnessofwhatis
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09 Apr 2010, 8:44 pm

I get paranoid quite often.

When I am out in public I constantly thinking that other people are judging me or laughing at me. When someone is walking near me I'm sure they are going to try to do something to me. After a conversation with someone I spend a lot of time convincing myself I did or said something that will make them think less of me.

I currently live in a small housing project for people with mental illness and can get roommates at any time. My one roommate was made to move out after only one month here. There were multiple reasons for this but it was greatly accelerated because of my paranoia. Any time she was here, her boyfriend was also here (overnight guests are allowed on a very limited basis). I didn't know either of them before she moved in and was constantly paranoid that they were going to do something to me or going to get into my room when I wasn't home (housing regulations do not allow locks on the bedroom doors). I started started setting up things in such a way that I would know if they tried to get into my room. Whenever I was out I was worried almost the whole time, even when I had not seen them for a week. Thankfully I'm moving to my own place in 3 weeks and won't have to deal with roommates ever again.

I won't even get into how paranoia has affected other parts of my life.



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09 Apr 2010, 8:51 pm

I get paranoid about nearly everything. Just remember the saying "Just remember if you are paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you." Yes I get the "psychotic" paranoia about the government and such but I truly believe its reality based. The reason why I believe it in the first place is I have the power of influence because of my psychic dreams. I influence world events but not intentionally. I would never hurt someone else. Mind reading technology exists. I don't yell and scream at imaginary voices though, but I do get high anxiety because of this. Some of the other paranoia stuff is even more "out there" from an outsider point of view. I also believe people talk about me and my thoughts wherever I go. This is why I hate crowds but I am willing to deal with it a few times a year. I love going to a gaming expo called PAX. It has 10's of thousands of people that go there. I get anxiety attacks. I have also been bullied for nearly my entire life, that is probably why I always think people are out to kill me or spy on me.