Who here has never been in a relationship?

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Who here has never been in a relationship? Who here has never even been on a date, kissed, or been kissed (romantically) by anyone? I’m tired of seeing people complain on this forum about being alone when they had a SO at least some point in their life. Every time I see it the jerk-off who posted it irritates me. I’m talking about no intimacy, ever.

Please post yourself here if you are at least 20 and have never experienced any of the above. I’m only doing this to see how many people here are in the same boat as I am.

Be careful what you wish for, unless the woman never breaks up with you and you marry her. Trust me. You will only crave her (and the intimacy) more. Go on a hormone suppressor or get a fleshlight.

After I had my first relationship, it was like..no big deal anymore. I craved it so much, and now I don't feel that way. I've been single for about a year now (not since my first relationship, just in general) and I'm just starting to think about maybe wanting another one.

I'm under twenty (19 year old) and have been in a relationship, not bragging just clarifying :] I don't think I complain about it, I'm glad I haven't had a lot of relationships.

Hello I'm a female and have never had a boyfriend/dated/kissed or anything of that nature. I've had guys as friends mind you but nothing relationship based. I LONG for companionship and IMO if I had friends (girls) or perhaps a love relationship with a guy MAYBE I could change alot of my behaviors.

misery loves company. misery craves company. what is more frustrating than being nobody's idea of mate material, is not even being able to commiserate with fellow rejectees. this adds insult to injury.
this said, everytime some other poster mentions a fleshlight, i go YEAH! this option is MUCH better than going on a hormone suppressor which feels like the chemical neutering it is. i don't know about anybody else, but i DON'T wish to be neutered, as that would make me feel too much like somebody's abandoned pet.

to the poster "astaut" who had a relationship, i'd say that is pretty well-functioning IMHO. better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. but to the poster "therange" who said "be careful what you wish for," that is an excellent point in that having no relationship is still a world better than being stuck in a bad one. neutral is always better than bad.
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just my 2-cents' worth, adjusted for inflation

I am 28 and have never been in a relationship. I have been asked out a few times (very few) but have never accepted. I would like to be in a relationship but I have absolutely no interest in the preliminaries (ie dating). I would love to be in a close, intimate relationship, but I realize the preliminaries are necessary. This being said, I doubt I have much/any chance of obtaining a SO with my avoidance of the necessary first steps.

At least you're all still young...

I'm 31 and have never had any kind of relationship or have been kissed or anything. I've been on a few dates, mostly blind dates and have never had a repeat date with the same person (some by my choice, some by the other person's choice). My problem is in meeting people. When I pursue my hobbies and interests, it's easy for me to talk to other people engaged in the activity but the problem is that only other guys are interested. For me, talking without something of value to talk about is about as foreign/alien of a concept as you can get. I could be at a party sitting off to the side, bored out of my mind and see a girl there off to another side by herself but if I can't think of something relevant to ask her or have something relevant to tell her, there's no reason to even engage in a "conversation". To give a breakdown on how my mind works it goes something like this:

Someone will suggest (after the fact) that I ask her about her job as an introduction. My thought process is that at this point, she's a complete stranger so I don't have any interest in her job. At that point, the information she would provide me would be useless and not applicable to anything so therefore it's a useless question, not worth asking. At the time, I'm not thinking this through like this, I'm just trying to show that asking a question like that would not even occur to me at the time. All I know about the person is that I find her attractive. Based on that and that alone, there is no basis for any kind of conversation and therefore, I have no business approaching her.

Last edited by Bataar on 13 Apr 2010, 11:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

therange, I don't care about sexual intecourse; I care about intimate companionship.

astaut, I should have mentioned this, but you're a female and that makes it easier.

zeldapsychology, I'm deeply sorry for asking such a rude question, but are you an attractive and smart girl? If you are, maybe we can try and work something out?

auntblabby, I am not "nobody's idea of mate material". I have been told by a good number of people that I am very attractive, and have received many signs of high interest. It's just that I have social anxiety disorder on top of my AS, and not to brag, but also a considerably higher than average I.Q. This is what makes it so exceedingly difficult.

Never had anything either. At this point in my life I have had zero relationship experience. Hopefully things will work out for the best.

I know I'm under 20...but I have yet to have any kind of an intimate relationship with anyone. I'm still looking for that special someone. Here's to hoping...

diamond, that's what i mean. as aspies, and i'm not the only one, we get obsessed with the girl we like, and let's say we're lucky enough that she likes us back (which i was) and she changes her mind, because let's say she wants different things than you do, or you disagree on a few major issues, her splitting up with you will just make you depressed also with an obsession with her.

you REALLY are better off not knowing what relationships are like until you meet a girl that is crazy about you, and would do anything to keep you, so you don't have to worry about that sort of thing (which is the norm.)

@Bataar, this may sound kind of simplistic, but with regard to your comments above, what if your goal was to get to know the young lady in question - so that you could determine if you want to ask her out? Could that be the basis for your conversation with her? What type of questions would you ask if you just wanted to get to know someone (even if "getting to know them" is limited to determining if you want to get to know them better)? That's mostly how people decide to date: a basic attraction combined with a desire to get to know the other person better. Could that work for you?

Ha! That failed. I do know this depression and obsession of which you speak regardless of never having a SO. Let's just say I almost had one. Look at that, I got the terrible side effects without snorting the cocaine.

Honestly, the way that comes natural to me, barring any kind of social norms would be the following:

Approach girl and say Hi then ask if she likes X (X being something I'm interested in). If she says yes, I would ask a follow up question about that topic. If she said no, I would ask if she likes Y. I would repeat until either she says she does like or is interested in something that I find interesting or else I would determine that we don't share enough interests and that trying to maintain a coversation and develop something further would be an exercise in futility.

I just find it hard to believe that a girl wouldn't be weirded out by some random guy walking up to her and start asking her a bunch of check list questions.

But actually going on dates with her, getting to know her emotionally, and being intimate with her (whether sex or just fooling around) is a different story. And if you got depressed over an "almost" date, it will be THAT much worse.

I'd venture to say that the reason you want a relationship so bad is because you see other people having them along with the fact that Hollywood makes them out to be this great thing.

Ironically, focusing on your passions (whatever they are) will allow you to in time (it might be 10 years from now, but it will happen) to meet someone that's right for you. Women at your age are just looking to "have fun." Do you expect to marry at your age?