Do you ever fear that you have lost your intellectual edge?

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This is difficult for me to frame in writing, as it is primarily a sense linked to a series of events, not a discrete event. Prior to the past couple years, (albeit battling dysthymic disorder and low-grade depression) I had grown intellectually, being interested in a myriad number of topics (Latin and forensics being current) and attaining a BA in behavioral neuroscience. I am currently in a master's program for psychotherapy until I can get established and attain my PhD. For the past couple of years, however, I have felt intellectually lethargic, experienced difficulty retrieving information and memories, been very frustrated over my current employment and coworkers and have obsessively feared that I am becoming....regressive in my intellectual development. Does this sound familiar to anyone else? A seeming block of personal intellectual progress, possibly aided by a low-stimulation work environment, but occurring prior to said employment. My writing in graduate school has consistently been rated excellent and I try to remain as focused as I can, but possibly my frustrations are rooted in the desire to learn too much, too soon. I am often very self-critical and can be ruthless with myself when I make a mistake or fail, berating myself for my stupidity for hours afterward. I occasionally have difficulty forming coherent thoughts. Often they become a jumbled mess and I cannot communicate with anyone or think clearly until they clear.

I would describe what I feel like now as containing some similar traits of schizoid personality disorder, namely the indifference to praise, preoccupation with fantasy and introspection, preference for solitary pursuits, lack of close friends or confidants and emotional coldness and flattened affect, although I am not certain I meet the criteria. I would also describe it as self-in-exile, as I feel I have exiled myself without knowing how and am merely a shrouded facade over my inner self.

I am not sure how well expressed this is (in my defense I do have a migraine now), but at this moment I fear that I have lost my intellectual growth. I am capable of much more than I am doing, but worry that I will never get the chance to do so in my current state and am at a loss as to what to do to remedy it.

I've never had it to begin with. Welcome to the dark side.

Sorry, I should say something supportive.

Umm, I'll let other people take care of that. I mean I do my best to work around my dysfunctions. I was a lethargic child and I've started to become a bit more active. I just really got to push myself to do things. I may not have a brilliant memory like some people and my words might come out in a mess but I got to be the best I can be.
I don't know how it will be for you because you did have intellectual talent rather than mine never existing. If you can't get it back you can't. Although I wish you luck in trying to become intellectual again.

I'm having the same issue -____- I used to be an A student before college. I was amazing at memorization. Now, I can't keep my attention for more than 10 minutes outside of my classes.

In grade school, I was like I am now. Expect worse. Then I started doing reeeeeeeeeally well. Now, I'm back to doing badly but not too badly.

I'm not sure. I've lost a lot of the intellectual tools I once had - I wouldn't be able to do a lot of the maths and physics I once knew without a lot of refresher study! - but I don't think my innate capacity for cleverness is any worse than it used to be. And I feel like I've replaced most of my specific knowledge of some subjects with a much broader general knowledge than I used to have. Guess that's the wisdom of age.

I also slowly came to the conclusion that I'm not, in a general sense, especially clever, and lost (I hope) a lot of the arrogance I once had. I have the quirky ASD distribution of talents - very good in some areas, very bad in others, and I used to mistake being very good at some things with being generally clever.

I feel the same thing happening to me. It's hard to explain.

it's grad school. It's the most powerful demotivator known to humankind.


It's like senioritis, but it does usually pass once you get the end in sight. It's that hopeless, interminable middle that kills the soul and the mind.

I often feel that I don't have the intellectual muscle-power that I used to have. I'd be tempted to put it down to age in my own case, but I don't think age makes much difference as such, I think it's a myth that older people always become slow-witted.

Is it related to your level of enthusiasm? That's the thing that seems to make the most sense in my case......frankly I just can't be arsed to flog my brain like I used to. A lot of the time when I'm considering a big mental task, the words "what's the point?" come into my head. Possibly my brain's become rather "lazy" in the light of experience. When I was very young I used to really throw myself into any mental challenge, as if my rewards would be great, but once I'd been round that circuit a couple of times I started to feel that a lot of it was wasted effort. One difficulty is that I can't seem to galvanise myself into action unless I think I have to, and frankly I don't have to. It seems that reassurance of my intelligence isn't enough of a reward.

Also it's always new stuff that my mind balks at....until I've chewed over a concept 2 or 3 times, it often feels very confusing to me.

I had a very bad time at the grammar school after previously really shining academically. Suddenly it was as if I had brain damage, I couldn't focus on the work at all, and that scared me a lot, and I'd get so confused that I couldn't even describe the problem. Much of that can be traced to a huge drop in "aspie-friendliness" between the schools, and also the bar had been raised - as one teacher put it, "you were cock of the walk in your last school, but here you're up against all the other cocks of the walk in the city." But at the time I just floundered and blamed myself, with no clear idea about why I was in so much difficulty. Escaping from the world of education was like a renaissance for my brain, and once I was free of the burden of the demands of (seemingly) arbitrary subjects, my thinking became much clearer and I achieved a lot more on my own terms.

Mostly I've always found that my brain has done me proud as long as the subject matter is fascinating to me....unfortunately real life tends to push me into intellectual pursuits that I care little for, so I get little chance these days to find out if my intellect is weaker than it used to be when pursuing the goals I love to pursue - I have to limit the time I spend on my special interests (or my life would collapse), and even when I'm indulging myself, the voice of wisdom and self-discipline tends to distract me from really getting to grips with the stuff that really brings me joy. Hopefully when I retire I'll be time-rich again, and my brain will finally get the message that I can feed my intellectual passion without running out of time to do the boring things.

To expand on my comment above, you mention that you are in master's program, but are waiting to start the Ph.D. program you really want to be in. Could it be that you are not being challenged right now? I found I had a sense of intellectual stagnation in my graduate education that in those periods where I felt like I was being made to study topics that 1) I hated and 2) served no larger purpose in my overall education. Mayhap you are in a similar bind?

I not only fear a reduction of my intellectual capacities, I am certain that this has happened. I am also afraid to re-take an IQ exam; there will be something distinctly unsettling in finding that the numbers have definitely gone down. It's as if I am growing more ADHD tendencies, as well as experiencing an increase in autistic tendencies.

Blort. Wokka. Gnip.

I also feel i am losing my intellectual edge, i see it happen everyday. But i want it. I am getting social skills in exchange.

I think many people go through that stage at one time or another. I was in such a state a while back and just couldn't focus on any specific task. What I've come to realize is that when this happens, its akin to being NT in our ability to focus.
I took it as I was losing my intellectual superiority over others which caused a bit of a depression. After losing my job I've decided to go back to school which has allowed me to refocus. And of course I realize I am still light years ahead of everyone else.

When this happens, I believe its more of an outside stressor causing the problem. Be it, not challenged, stress at work/home/etc or something else. Change your view or location and it will probably go away.

It comes and goes. Lately I feel sharper than I have in a long time.

If I am dealing with sensory issues, it dulls me. Sometimes it takes days to come back from that.

My intellectual 'edge' has gone away. I am not sorry. I see the world with a more whole beinged approach and less through the lens of intellect. I used to only ever engage the world from my intellect (circuit 3 in Leary's 8 circuit brain model).

My advice to you, Grevious, is not to grasp at your attachment to your identity as intellectual, smart, sharp or whatever - it will only make you suffer. Try to bring observation and understanding to the chaos you currently perceive in yourself. You may be transitioning into a new way of interacting with your world.