changing89 wrote:
Who says I can't. Who says you cant.
There has to be a way.
Sorry to burst your balloon, but there is
not a way to repair damage done to the developmental ability of your brain before you were born, that is very likely genetic in origin.
The fact that you think you can WILL your Autism away, only demonstrates that you do not fully understand your own condition.
You need to learn more about what AS is, so that you can learn to accept yourself. You are different, but you are not defective.
Your
brain - not your
personality - is missing some components that are generally typical to most human brains. This causes you to experience and perceive the world around you slightly differently than most other individuals. This is especially true in situations involving human social interaction. These variant perceptions will also cause you to think and behave somewhat differently than most of the people around you, in ways that will frequently put you at odds with your peers.
You can (and you will over time, even if you aren't aware of it happening) learn certain skills, known as coping mechanisms, that will help you work around these handicaps. However, the handicaps and the resultant missteps and emotional fallout WILL NOT DISAPPEAR.
Just as someone born with one leg two inches shorter than the other, you are not incapable of doing most things that others do, though you may sometimes be restricted as to
how you go about accomplishing these things, and there may be areas in which you will never be a competitive champion, but you can accomplish what you need to. However your own personal
'limp' will be with you for the duration of this life.
Believe what you like for now, but I can promise you this, and you can tattoo it on the back of your hand so you'll remember
I told you so when the realization finally sinks in:
No matter how much you may convince yourself that you have become just like everybody else and that your AS is gone - the people around you who do not have Autism, will always be able to tell that you are not like them. And they will always treat you accordingly.
I say you can't. And here's why: For 49 years, everybody around me - my parents, my teachers, my coworkers, my employers, my spouses,
everyone - told me -
insisted -
demanded - that I be like everybody else, do what everyone else did
the way that they did it, because none of those people knew what Autism was anymore than I did and none of us had ever
heard of AS, so
they did not allow me to be different. But you know what?
I was different anyway. Not, as they thought, because I enjoyed being difficult and annoying them. But because I AM different and I CANNOT BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I AM, no matter how hard I try, no matter how much someone wants, needs or expects me to, even if they hold a gun to my head and threaten to kill me if I don't change. I don't have the power to become like them, I've spent half a century desperately
trying. Well, I'm not trying anymore. And I feel much better about myself.
Good luck with the transformation.