sorry to pester every one agian, i need a plan to quickly seperate from my parents before they really
do major damage to me again(mostly mental) THey dont want to have to deal with a special needs adult child and they figure its just easier to drug me into a stuppor and take my ssi then help me get back on feet and put me through college. THere is nothing logical or consistant to what they do, they say one thing do another, say one thing and later contradict themselves, they say will do something and never do unless i demand they do it 10,000 times(it will take them a min of a year to do something important), that day, say things that have just are non sequitors, things that you cant answer, and they lie all the time, i hear them say to one another just say anything to shut him up, they are very convincing liers and will rearrange what happened to fool virualy anyone but me. I'm blamed for things that are their ore noones fault THey lied thier buts off to my relatives about whats what. occassionly it leaks out what they really thinks of me, they think im alittle child(far from it) who they need to "take care of" and if i try to be free its bad behavior that needs to be punished. when i was younger they terrrozied me constant verbal abuse, i got bigger and it stopped, and we just didnt talk, just absouloutley what was neccessay, i went years without really any human emotioanl support. I went off to collage thought i was rid of them, but all that stress took its toll(pretty sure it screwed up my adrenal gland) and i had to come home and stupid me i had to rely on them.
THe diagnonosis to them meant that i was ret*d, and they salivated at siezing controll of me, they even pinned me down and tried shovin druggs down my thoat once. weakness to my dad meant i lost my rights. A long time ago tried telling the counseler they brought me to their was something wrong at home but i wasn't believed
I live in the most screwed up state in the country with the most corrupt lega system, the one where late night comics used make jokes about. I have no idea what happen if the authorities where contatect, i lack at this momemt hard proof. THey put me in a ward after my father made a threathening jesture with a knife just to demonstrate thier ,i dont know, power over me.
I went to my local church, asked for help and was brushed off, the pastor said just say a pray.
i couldnt believe it.
My father turned into a loon again today, some contractor was supposed to take down trees and didnt', and his face turn beat red when heard about it, and started cursing and ranting fortitunatly i
wasn't the object of his anger and he took two hours to calm down over a paper work screwup.
Sorry my apopologies for going on im hard straights.
I'm being forced to go to his this counseling place of with my mother. They will most likely hear her lies and distortions first, she'd lie her but off about what a monster i am, i'm not, the medication has me on edge, and has screwed around with my memory and higher order thinking(i know i sound ok on the pc, i just cant think stuff out, i was good at chess not anymore) , and typical of as i have cruddy verbal skills, shes also a histronic and can cry on command, im also sensisitive her voice, it cuts right through me. Need to know how get throught this counseling(?) (its supposed to be about two- three weeks dont think i can last that long),and out of this house, they only thing really holding me hear is my mom has really good insurance for me and i know the area i live around. They say they want to help but everything do either does nothing or hurts me,THier slowly and naively grinding me down into nothing if i never saw them again thats ok. sorry if this is disjointed i really like need help
29 Mar 2006, 8:13 pm
