Stupidty from white trash senior citizen neighbor

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So my female senior citizen neighbor keeps insulting me with jokes that are slights. I am not sure what to do. I have some insults I can throw her way, but not sure how I feel about doing it.

Ignore her. There is no benefit to confrontation of any sort here. Just my two bits.


M.

I would just ignore her. You can do comebacks. Sounds like she does it all the time so it gives you time to think up of comebacks to say to her. Ignore her or do comebacks for every time she insults you.

But are you sure she is just insulting you than trying to be funny and doesn't know she is insulting you? Sometimes people try and be funny and don't even realize they are being hurtful. I have a sense of humor but I don't realize when I am hurtful so if I were to tell a joke and then someone bullied me for it, I would think that person was a jerk than thinking I had hurt him with my humor and he was sticking up for himself. Instead I would think he was the bad guy.

I am not sure what jokes she is doing so I don't know if she is truly bullying you or if she is trying to be funny.

Ignore her. Some people seem to think this is "cute", they do it out of "affection" (pretty much everyone in my extended family does, most of my immediate family does not.). For instance, my cousins LOVE to poke fun at how "nerdy", "old-fashioned" and pale I am (nevermind they are a different racial background than me- I'm a white mutt and they are either half hispanic or part Syrian- of COURSE I'm pale compared to them. Who cares? It's just differing amounts of melanin.)

Anyway, I still don't understand it. But this is what I keep hearing when I ask other people (my husband mainly) why the hell they do this and what am I supposed to do about it. In a lot of cases it's the affection thing. But others do it because it makes them feel better if they can stomp on someone else's ego. And some others even do it because they need attention (lonely old lady perhaps?) and do not know how to go about getting the amount they desire by GOOD means.

I wouldn't bother worrying which intention she has. Just assume she is trying to be friendly (when she slights you just have as little reaction as possible, smile and walk away- that sort of thing) and spend as little time around her as possible.

People have odd justifications; you cannot state that someone could not confuse that behavior with respect. Engaging her does nothing to serve your purposes; avoid and forget.


M.

I will vent here:

She is the only woman or senior citizen I have met in my life that deserves to be punched in the face. Twice.

She is the only woman or senior citizen I have met in my life that deserves to be given two middle fingers at once.

She looks like an aborted fetus.

Her name is "Toni". How appropriate that she has a boy's name?

Ok, look. if you want to know WHAT to do, we've all said it. Ignore her. Who is she to you? No one. So who cares if you have her respect. If you ignore people like this they WILL go away and stop talking to you. If you feel the need to engage they will continue and there will be no end. People like her do this FOR YOUR REACTION. There are all kinds of crazy reasons why. None make logical sense.

As far as me lieing to myself to explain away how people treat me. That's...well, that's a bit dramatic frankly. Honestly, I don't CARE if people respect me. If they dislike me or feel the need to be rude (verbally) I ignore them (rather than try to logically figure out why they feel the need to pick on me as I used to). If someone breaches my personal space or lays a hand on me I very clearly state the boundries and the consequences for crossing them. My cousins now barely speak to me. And that is how I like it.

But I guess that is the difference between me and you. You seem to really NEED to feel respected. That's fine. However, you can't MAKE everyone respect you. And people ARE weird and have weird justifications and weird ways of expressing things. I prefer to ignore those who don't jive with MY way of seeing and expressing thngs instead of trying to have a battle of wills over it. I USED to do that and it was a waste of time because some people, and it took me a long time to realize this, actually just LIKE the drama of an argument. It somehow makes them feel connected to someone. Do I understand this intellectually or viscerally? No. It makes no sense. But it hapens. You just have to tell yourself, "This person is not logical. There craziness is without real purpose. Disengage"

At least this is what I do. I can't tell you what will help you otherwise.

I tend to hock loogies and throw mudballs
at people who do these things to me.

Sounds like someone you'd find in the "tea-bagger"...lol...movement


Probably thinks Obama is the antichrist and that gay people can and should be "cured".