French_Lola wrote:
I have this problem, nothing 'normal' seems to matter.
When someone tells me that they left their wife/husband, or someone died, or they got a new dog, or that their kids have great marks or are sick, whatever people say (family or colleagues), i never care and most of the time i have no reaction at all.
i am the same way.
it does not matter to me what happens outside the bubble of my existence, as long as it does not hinder me.
i was disappointed when the 9-11 thing happened because they removed the world trade centers from the scenery in the next version of flight simulator, and when i bought it, i was annoyed that new york looked boring without them.
my associate (who thinks he is my friend) is currently heart broken about some girl he is obsessed with. he got to know her and he fell in love with her and she did not like him, so she found another boyfriend.
whatever. he rang me tonight and he started ranting on about it, but i was cranky that he was using up my time. i told him that it was "life in the big smoke ", and he got angry with me so i hung up.
my girlfriend often has fights with her mother and she rings me to tell me, but i am always too busy with my own trivialities to be bothered to listen, and i have no concern about it..
i can not feel what she feels, so i am not inclined to think about it. if her mother was angry with me, then i would just tell her to get f*cked.
my girlfriend does not like that attitude and i can not understand why she stands in a hailstorm of disapproval.
another friend of mine had a mother who died, and all i could think was "well there you go".
i said "deary me", but then i became keen to curtail that phone call because i realized that if i was to stay on the phone, i would be required to pretend that i cared, and it is almost impossible to pretend i care because i am too lazy to be bothered.
i only care about what is in my world, and nobody's world intersects mine.
i am me "union" me.
French_Lola wrote:
I actually have to think about it in order to manage to come up with some forced reaction or people will get upset. Most of the time i'll just be in my own world and it would appear i'm in a coma or something
As a result people think i'm sad, heartless, non-caring, which is not the case.
i do not care if people get upset about my "callousness" because they are on the other side of my closed doors, and i can not sense it when i slam my doors in their face.
French_Lola wrote:
It's not depression, i'm actually happy, but not their kind of happy, and if i were to talk to them i would bore them with ecology, GMOs, animal rights, or rodents, and then they would be the ones who don't care at all...
i am quite content and i am never depressed, and if someone wants me to talk to them i will say what i would otherwise say to myself if i wanted to talk to myself.
if they get bored or offended, then it does not bother me because they were the ones that asked for it.
French_Lola wrote:
On the other hand if i find a glass where it's not supposed to be i'll go mad. Things all have allocated space, now that matters! But people don't understand that.
i do not like people to interfere with my life's arrangement, and i will angrily eject them if they rearrange any part of my self composed existence.
i do identify with your post, but it is not an invitation for you to comment about what i said.