I need help and I can't get it.

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I'm not sure where I'm supposed to put this. I'm not sure at all, but its okay!

I was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism when I was two (back when people barely knew about it). Me, my family, and anyone who knows me thinks I was probably misdiagnosed. I hate the diagnosis, I'm not proud of it, and it doesn't really have anything to do with my life. In fact, when anyone mentions "Autism Month" or whatever, it just makes me extremely EXTREMELY upset and angry. I have a bit of trouble making and keeping friends, I have a temper, and I'm sort of shy initially, but it in no way means I'm autistic.

However, I know I have problems mentally. As a kid, I was put in Special Ed, and while it helped me early on, by the time I was 8-10 it truly did nothing for me for development. Basically, the teacher I had back then did something illegal, my parents had a lawsuit for 5 years, I was put in a school where I was picked on HORRIBLY (crushing my self-esteem)....whatever. To make things short, it started the depression I've had for about 10 years.

When I was 14 I started dating a guy way too old for me. He manipulated me and took advantage of me sexually for about 4 years. I think it really made the depression I already had so much worse. It took away all the passion I had for life, and it left me just a little shell of who I am.

My problem is that I need therapy. I know I do. I cannot handle having suicidal thoughts and attempts by myself. Its getting in the way of my personal relationships, preventing me from making friends that last or a real loving relationship because I'm so distrustful and afraid. However, I can't get help; I come from a family that doesn't believe in it, and I can't do anything health-wise without their permission and organization (its just how my family is). I have health insurance which prevents me from getting any low-cost or free therapy. And I can't go to a high school therapist because of the confidentiality laws (aka my ex will get reported, my family will find out the extent of what he did, and it will be another hassle)

I don't know what to do. Is there anyone who knows what I can do to find a therapist? At all? :/

You're 18. Legally an adult. You can do whatever you want health wise regardless of your parents (as long as you foot the bill yourself).

I can't afford 150 bucks a week or a month for a therapist. And I don't have a car or any transportation to even go to a therapist. :/ I have to rely on my family for this stuff.

If you're willing to say what state you're in, maybe someone around here knows how the system works there.

Do you have a community college in the area? They might have a women's center with free counseling and referral services.

I'm in California, in Los Angeles. I have plenty of community colleges..I probably should try to find one with counseling once I graduate HS.

I see you are 18, thus I believe by most US confidentiality laws, your family actually has no right to know whether you are in therapy for anything or not.


You have a right to seek help when you need it. If your family doesn't believe in it then that's their problem.

I phone a community centre and asked to speak to the Psychology Department - they weren't sure what I wanted but they connected me to the right place, which had a sliding scale. I got to see a therapist for $20 per session (one every week). The therapist had an M.A. in psychology and was working on his PhD. He helped me a lot.

Can you get a part-time job? A little money is a powerful thing.

The colleges and universities provide "guidance" (aka therapy) - usually for free.

Keep in touch and let us know how you go. We care.