I think I have Asperger's syndrome, but I'm not sure.

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I think I have Aspergers but I'm not sure. I get nervous when I have to talk to strangers and people tell me I sound grouchy but I am not aware of myself sounding grouchy. I feel no animosity for anyone and I believe myself to be interacting in a normal way. I don't know what I am doing with my face or my body or voice that makes people respond negatively to me. I get a lot of dirty looks from woman my own age and lots of stares from people in general, even when I am not talking. It doesn't matter if I smile or not, I still get the same reaction. I have started staying indoors and only going out when absolutely necessary. My question is for all of you. What makes you think you have Aspergers? What is your major symptom?

I've noticed that my entire life. I may be perfectly happy, but because I don't smile, I'm unhappy. I am also told my voice is very agressive...anyway. I still don't understand what I am doing wrong, and no one can satisfactorily explain it



I don't really have a major symptom. Everything just all kind of added up to Asperger's Syndrome, like all the pieces of a puzzle just finally got put together properly. In my eyes, the most pervasive problem is hyperfocusing coupled with a complete disinterest in anything I am not obsessing about. All through school that has been a huge problem.

The second most severe problem is communication. I prefer not to talk, and when I do talk, I prefer to either talk about what I want to talk about, or to answer specific questions, or to enter Lecture Mode wherein no one interrupts me. This wreaks havoc on every kind of peer-to-peer contact, and is starting to cause problems at work.

I sometimes get told that I look like I'm giving people evils but then thats quite funny as I do have problems with eye contact unless I'm emotionally close to someone. I have little quirks and my behaviour is sometimes deemed inappropriate by others, most of the time I don't actually get told how but I'm one of these people who will talk about most things unless its something personal about someone else or its supposed to be kept secret. I'm also blunt and I occasionally have difficulty interpreting other people or understanding their behaviour towards me or others. Get this though: I like hugs and kisses and affection and stuff like that but I don't like people touching me unless I trust them 100% or I've known them for a long time. I also have difficulty telling people of my emotions and, as you can imagine, am good at hiding some emotions apart from anger, frustration, happiness or amusement.

My social interactions to put it simply.

I have a son diagnosed with HFA and that has sort of clued me in as I was diagnosed around the spectrum as a child and I notice the similarities. I also have people tell me to smile or that I look angry when in fact I'm not at all.

A regular doctor wanted to discuss my depression once and I assured him it was just my sparkling personality I don't think he believed me but I honestly wasn't feeling that way and I know the difference. So, I just smiled and lifted the tone of my voice and said see I'm happy now.

Thanks to all for responding to my question. I do have trouble with eye contact, also. I don't have any special interests that I obscess about, though. I wish I did.

Last edited by Bettyboo on 04 Apr 2006, 7:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You're welcome!

I don't know how much reading you've done on AS, but if you've done much you may have realized that it's a label. It's not actually a STRUCTURAL diagnosis. It's an amalgam of behaviors and tendencies. Really, it's a very unscientific way to classify, and though they are trying hard to understand more, science is for the most part lost when it comes to the mind. (Ask anyone who's tried to straighten out their meds.)

For example, cut up carrots, chicken, add broth and noodles, and they slap the label on it "soup". But that's not what really comprises the mixture. Asperger's is similar. They grouped a set of symptoms that seem to come together in a large group of people, and they called it AS. There are structural theories, but none that are widely accepted yet.

My symptoms include intense focus on interesting subjects, hyperlexia, shyness, trouble with eye contact (before I destroyed that problem through drills), difficulty interacting with more than one person well, sensitive to noise, a slightly stilted way of speaking, and trouble picking up on facial expressions of others. The psych I saw thought it added up to AS. So there you go. If you asked me, my major symptom was social awkwardness. If you asked the psych, he would have told you my hyperlexia and talking without stopping, professorish manner, and lack of eye contact--cuz that's what he said in his report.

Thanks GroovyDruid, I have been reading some on the subject. I have read "Songs of the Gorilla Nation" by Dawn Prince-Hayes, "Pretending to be Normal" by Liane Holliday, "Freaks, Geeks, and Asperger's Syndrome" by Luke Jackson and " Autism and the God Connectin" by William Stillman. In each of these personal stories, they all have their own blend of "soup", if you don't mind my using your analogy. I would like to read something technical that would actually teach me the mechanics of proper eye contact, body stance, etc. Do you have any suggestions?

Find information at the book store or library on body language, specifically body mirroring. Certain organizations like toastmasters can teach you vital skills too, and of course, read Our own GroovyDruids blog at this url http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.html?name=blogview&user=GroovyDruid although it deal more with mating rituals of neurotypicals and how to emulate them.

Another fine trick is to get some sunglasses, head to the local mall, and sit on a bench. The sunglasses should prevent people from noticing you staring.
Watch how they interact, such as the ways they angle their bodies in relation to each other, how when two people walk side by side, they swing their arms and legs in cadence. Notice that when one person does some inocculous action, such as moving their arm, or shifting their head, the other person will often copy them a second later.

Its fascinating, and utterly predictable! After I learned to do that, I paid attention to how I stood and moved, and realized that yes, I was all out of step, i didnt mirror actions, stood at defiant/oppositional directions...

May I suggest a book that has helped me greatly with the recent diagnosis of my 11 yr old son. The Everything Parent's Guide to Children with Asperger's Syndrome by William Stillman
I know that you are an adult and some things may not apply but there are so many analogies and clear explanations that after 2 chapters I ordered my own copy since the one I was reading belonged to the doctor. I have also found that several of the examples fit my dad perfectly, and many fit me also.
I agree that for most of us we have some but not all of the symptoms, varying levels. My son and father are classic, everything fits them cases. Myself, my 2 uncles, and my other two boys are more 75% matches. I have also come to love Mr. Stillman's motto "We are all more alike than different."

They're more trouble than they're worth, sometimes!... When you're obsessed with, say, a computer game, and don't get your homework done, you can get into trouble at school quite easily. This is my current problem--failing grades thanks to various nonfunctional obsessions.

Of course, there are the useful obsessions--my best one to date has been with modern physics--that can really help you become an expert in your field of interest.

It's a lot of pros and cons.

Regarding having AS: Do you want to find someone to evaluate you and find out whether this is your problem? Or is it your intention to learn the skills you need to learn, without pursuing an official diagnosis? (If you are an adult, it's your choice... if you are still in school, it's probably best to get a diagnosis in order to take advantage of various accomodations your school can provide for you.)

Basically, I am undiagnosed, though am planning to seek a diagnosis sometime in the near future after I land a job, but I have been to numerous therapists during my childhood. I have been told I had 'autistic tendencies' on two occasions, not counting the five years people thought I was schizophrenic, which was like a nightmare with medication and things. During this time, the 1980s, however, AS was never diagnosed in the US. Many therapists were at a loss, even diagnosed with borderline personality disorder on one occasion, though most agreed I had ADHD when I was real young, but not so in my later years.

I fit the profile of the diagnosis, as according to the DSM-IV manual of AS, with three from the first criteria and all four, possibly three, of the second criteria. I have a fascination for researching medical information, both mental and physical. I think so black and white, though, that I'm not happy unless I fit all the criteria. I have for years tried to pigeonhole my differences amongst the various categories, and people telling me that things aren't exact just doesn't quell the urge to keep on doing.

I just wish I wasn't so fascinated by categories of information! The stress of all this stuff would be far less overwhelming! I started to act like I had this and that, simply because I had a desire to literally fit the diagnosis to the tee. That can become a problem!

- Ray M -

I've just recently read about Asperger's syndrome, and believe I fit the profile for diagnosis. I am now 15 years old.
I feel very uncomfertable in social situations, and I find it difficult to carry out a conversation. I am horrible when it comes to small talk, and I usualy avoid eye contact with other people. I find it hard to find friends, and I am concidered a bit of a loner.
I have had delays in the development of fine motorskills, and didn't really speak so well until I was about three years old. I am conciderd a bit of an odd-ball, and have been teased quite alot during my elementary school years.
When I'm having a conversation with someone, I often say the wrong things. I realize that I have said something that is out of place, but I cannot figure out what or why it was. In some cases, I find ssarcasm difficult to handle, beacause it takes me a great amount of time prossessing the information.
I have a good memory, and I have, ever scince I was a small child, had very narrow intrests. I get very upset when something interferes with my rutine, and I prefer to eat the same thing every day. (until I get sick of it; then I will do the same with another item of food)
I often complain about sound other people do not hear (I can detect when the tv is on or off, even though the sound is turned down all the way.)
I often have temper tantrums, especially when my rutines are interrupted. I can get worked up over the smallest thing, and begin breaking and throwing stuff around. (I get very violent, agressive) This gets worse if someone tries to calm me down (I usually need to be left alone in theese cases)
I do not like crowds. I prefer beeing alone most of the time.
When I was little, I used to hate washing my hair or putting on clothes. This would sometimes cause me to injure mysself.
I also have symptoms of OCD.

How do i know for sure?

Alexa232 wrote:.

I don't think you can know with a certainty about things like this. I am still questioning myself about the same thing. It does sound like you fit the profile, though. I hope you find some answers.

I trully apoligize for jumping in here but I'm amazed to find so many people who think that they may be as weird as I am. Personally I don't think of myself as having a problem. I usually think other people have problems. From what I've seen in these posts most of you (us) are just fairly 'normal' unusual people and I hope everybody keeps this in mind. Many of us who have AS are indeed perfectly 'normal' people among that portion of society who could be considered to be 'unusual' or 'eccentric'. No big deal as eccentrics are usually welcomed into straight society to break up the boredom.
If it weren't for AS people life on earth would be stagnant and completely unchanging just chasing it's tail trying to be 'normal'.