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Dennis
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20 May 2010, 10:56 pm

There's a girl who I've been talking to online and one time on the phone who I'm interested in. She's attractive both physically and personality wise. But she's said that she thinks we don't have anything in common. I know we have some similar interests and I'm really attracted to her, so I want to be able to talk to her. Is there something I should do?



trojan51
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20 May 2010, 11:27 pm

Shes probobly blowing you off when she says stuff like that. Girls usually dont like aspies, trust me id know ive been rejected everytime and i consider myself decent looking and a decent person. Shes probobly got these extremely high standards like alot of girls do.



nick007
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21 May 2010, 1:15 am

You could try to change your interest & then seeing if she will go out with you. Some women do go for guys with similar interest because they think it means they can connect & have things in cmmon when in reality the one interest they should both share is the desire to be with each other. The girl mite of been trying to be nice about declining interest to thou. I do not understand women. I've been rejected every single time


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GoatOnFire
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21 May 2010, 1:22 am

To be perfectly blunt, when she says she "doesn't think you have anything in common" she is rejecting you romantically at least.

Sorry. But you could be annoyingly persistent just for your own amusement, it can work but don't get your hopes up too high.


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Chronos
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21 May 2010, 1:41 am

Dennis wrote:
There's a girl who I've been talking to online and one time on the phone who I'm interested in. She's attractive both physically and personality wise. But she's said that she thinks we don't have anything in common. I know we have some similar interests and I'm really attracted to her, so I want to be able to talk to her. Is there something I should do?


Yes, you should distance yourself from her if you cannot subdue your emotions from her and just be a friend, as she has indicated she is not interested in a relationship with you.

You might very well feel that you two do have enough in common, in such a way that you feel she is the type of person who fulfills you sufficiently to be in a relationship with. She has indicated that this feeling is not mutual, and so she would not be happy in such a relationship and since she would not be happy, it would not be the relationship you would like it to be. It does not mean there is anything wrong with you, or you have done anything wrong. Look at this from the perspective of having someone interested in you, who is nice, and fairly good looking, who, for whatever reason, you are just not interested in, and realize that we really don't control who we are attracted to.



Hansie
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21 May 2010, 4:48 am

Sorry but you need to find someone else to be interested in. If she says you don't have much in common there isn't much that you can do to change that.



Dennis
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21 May 2010, 11:40 pm

Well, I took the majority advice. It sounds like you're correct, and I feel as much or more than ever like I'm doomed to a life of loneliness.



phil777
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22 May 2010, 12:16 am

Geesh. Don't be so hard on yourself. Plenty of fish in the water. :p

That said, you could still remain in the friend zone, if you can bear with it. And with time, if she ever finds anything that remotely interests her about you, she might make a move. =/



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22 May 2010, 6:18 am

Abandon and move on. Yeah, it sounds cold blooded but that's what she's doing anyway.

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22 May 2010, 7:38 am

Dennis wrote:
Well, I took the majority advice. It sounds like you're correct, and I feel as much or more than ever like I'm doomed to a life of loneliness.


Don't be like that - it's totally self-destructive. And it's probably tremendously hypocritical of me to say this (considering I never believed that either, until I got kissed last week by a girl who had apparently been carrying a torch for me for months), but don't give up hope. She'll turn up.

And trust me... when it happens, it will feel awesome :)


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22 May 2010, 9:56 am

trojan51 wrote:
Shes probobly blowing you off when she says stuff like that. Girls usually dont like aspies, trust me id know ive been rejected everytime and i consider myself decent looking and a decent person. Shes probobly got these extremely high standards like alot of girls do.


How would they know? , most girls i've gone out with... ok ok not that many never even knew i was autistic!. I'm not the same person i was 6+years ago



Pandoran-March
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22 May 2010, 1:49 pm

Dennis wrote:
Well, I took the majority advice. It sounds like you're correct, and I feel as much or more than ever like I'm doomed to a life of loneliness.

It doesn't happen often, but sometimes people actually pursue me. Those cases are usually the ones which work out best for me. (Provided I don't screw things up.)

You might consider thinking about the same. It won't happen often (maybe 2-5 times a year), but when it does, you'll get a legitimate chance at having a decent relationship.

Good things come to those who are patient. :-)


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MrEGuy
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23 May 2010, 12:04 am

trojan51 wrote:
Girls usually dont like aspies, trust me id know ive been rejected everytime and i consider myself decent looking and a decent person.


Correlation is not causation. The fact that you're an aspie and you've been repeatedly rejected is a correlation. The cause is that you're male. And being male and seeking a mate entails absurd amounts of rejection.



Dennis
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24 May 2010, 4:48 pm

I know that relationships with a majority of women wouldn't work out for me. And I've very rarely been pursued and the few times I was were by someone I had no interest in. I've never had a girlfriend and I don't think I've ever been in a state of mutual attraction. And right now I'm feeling pretty emotional and having mood swings.



Pandoran-March
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24 May 2010, 5:45 pm

MrEGuy wrote:
trojan51 wrote:
Girls usually dont like aspies, trust me id know ive been rejected everytime and i consider myself decent looking and a decent person.


Correlation is not causation. The fact that you're an aspie and you've been repeatedly rejected is a correlation. The cause is that you're male. And being male and seeking a mate entails absurd amounts of rejection.

That is true. The difference being that normal guys get right back up, and start pursuing someone else.


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Dennis
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01 Jun 2010, 11:19 pm

God, I'm having a hard time getting over this one. Failing at relationships seems to get worse the more times it happens.