Being Annoying

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Does anybody have the belief that you annoy somebody by just speaking with them? I have that negative belief for the few I intentionally attempt to spark conversation with.

Not sure about annoying but I constantly worry about OMG what if I upset you. For example I thought of all these IMO awesome "hang out" ideas to a friend she said she had a job/school/saving for college/university/apartment with boyfriend etc. I replied Fine Sorry I bothered You! So I feel like I bothered her when I just wanted to hang out with a friend. As I've stated before I hope I can meet some friends in College (who are understanding of my quirks/AS) my 2 current friends have known me forever! and know/understand of my AS. Last night a friend mention she has known me forever so she knows my personality etc. but as she said not everyone knows/understands AS so I need to change and not be so "forward" example : Saying things that aren't socially appropriate (I asked a friend about her weight in public) but since she was a friend I knew forever she didn't seem to mind.

:\ Yeah.

I also have the problem of feeling like I upset people. In IMing, I tend to write in parentheses things like, "don't mean to offend" or "tell me if I'm bothering you"

I'm the same way. In fact, I continually ask people if they're angry/annoyed with me. Then they really do wind up annoyed because I won't stop asking! I'm actually getting a lot better about this than I used to be, but recently I've started doing it again while in large groups (family visiting) because everything is chaotic and I'm not sure if what I'm saying/doing is wrong.

I feel like that with my mom quite often. I generally try to avoid her cuz she gets mad when I talk to her. When I was in school lots of my classmates wer annoyed by me. I also annoyed certain people I've worked with as well. Good thing I learned to be my own best friend so I can talk to myself

You and I are twins, because I do the same thing. It upsets me when people get mad if I ask if they are mad.

I often feel this way also. If someone responds negatively too me I'll assume I was a bother too them and I won't initiate contact again if I didn't know the person well. I wouldn't include the word fine though, that sounds like you're being defensive if you do that. I'm never defensive, I just say sorry and move on.

Oh I didn't know "Fine" was defensive of course you're talking to an Aspie whos social skills ARE s**t! I never knew Fine was defensive. I need to do a social skills/body language class in College LOL! (There is Social Psychology maybe take that sometime LOL!)

It is very difficult for me to be around people who are sensitive like that. I've been extremely fortunate in that I've managed to find a husband who just laughs when I say something awful, because he knows that I probably didn't mean for it to come out as it did.

For example, I recently told him that after getting my dog, marrying him was the choice that had the greatest impact on my life when I was desperately trying to dig myself out of a hole. Now, I meant "after" as in time--we got married after I got my dog--and hadn't even been thinking about relative importance, but it was poorly phrased. If he were the type to just get upset and not say anything about it, our marriage would likely be short and unhappy. As it was, because he just laughed about it and didn't get upset, I was able to explain things more clearly.

I wish everyone would give me the opportunity to clarify when they hear me say something awful--most of the time, my intended meaning isn't awful at all.

Funny, my cat and I have entire conversations every few days. She meows, then I meow, then she meows, back and forth, until one or the other of us gets tired. If I'm saying something that she understands, I don't know what, and if her meows actually mean something, I don't know what. Sometimes when I have conversations with people I don't know very well, it feels like we might be just meowing back and forth, making noises, and neither of us is truly "getting" what the other person is trying to say. Communication is a funny thing.

P.S. You guys will have to excuse me and the philosophical ramblings I keep adding to random threads. My recent battery of AS assessment/neuropsychological testing provided an opportunity to engage in fruitful introspection. A lot of questions that used to occupy my thoughts years ago were ultimately shelved because they weren't going anywhere. Why bang your head against the wall when there are other, equally fascinating questions whose answers might possibly be within reach? There have been so many other questions to keep me busy, I completely forgot to return to ones about the fundamental nature of my own interactions with others of my own species. Kind of important, yet for so many years I'd just shrugged it off as an unfathomable mystery! Now that I've found a way to think about these things in a meaningful way, it's sending me off onto all sorts of philosophical tangents. Just ignore me if I get annoying or sound crazy. I'm perfectly sane, despite a tendency to occasionally think myself into a corner. It's all in good fun!

I used to annoy a lot of society girls, that way.