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MumOf2
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26 May 2010, 9:25 am

My 2.5 yr old ASD son (a real sweetheart) stims by 'bouncing' his mouth on his 10 month old sisters head while making a loud monkey-sounding "ooo...ooo". He calls this "kissing sister" (very cute). His stims seem more pronounced when his sister is around, although to me it's more to do with excitement rather than anxiety. I understand his need to stim, however the way in which he does it is VERY annoying to his sister as he can be relentless. He also pulls her hair (not too hard, but still to the point of annoyance), pokes her head, and verbally stims (his favourite monkey cry, or his latest- "HAAIIRR!!") over and over and close to her face.

Is there any way that I can redirect his stimming which doesn't involve his sister? He started to do it before his dx and before I realized it was actually a stim as opposed to a quirky show of affection, and didn't actively discourage it. If anything, I may have reinforced it by asking him to be gentle, as opposed to asking him to stop altogether. Will he be confused if I ask him to stop now, after allowing it for 10 months?? I assumed he would stop, or find other ways to stim, but this hasn't happened and daughter is getting rather fed up.

Thanks in advance for feedback, I have been here lurking ever since son's dx and have found it invaluable in trying to understand him better. Also, any recommendations for books which help me to understand my son and his behaviour, and how to communicate in ways which he understands would be greatly appreciated. I love him so much but sometimes his behaviour baffles me!



psychohist
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26 May 2010, 10:29 am

MumOf2 wrote:
Will he be confused if I ask him to stop now, after allowing it for 10 months??

He might be confused, but I don't see that you have any choice. You could let him pull your hair instead of his sister's - or make it a choice between pulling your hair, and stroking gently on his sister's. If it's the noise that's annoying to the sister, you could allow him to kiss and play with her hair only if he's quiet while doing it.



thesnowqueen
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26 May 2010, 12:21 pm

Gender issues aside, you could get him a doll and try redirect the stimming onto that.



angelbear
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26 May 2010, 1:46 pm

I was going to suggest the doll or a stuffed animal with hair. Or maybe even some yarn or fabric.



MumOf2
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26 May 2010, 5:43 pm

Thanks for advice, we'll be shopping for his "kissy" doll today.

I'm new here, I've just started my autism journey with my son, it's been two months since his dx. In that time, it's been info overload. This site has been invaluable for practical advice as well and helping me understand my dear son better. There is so much crap out there on the net!!