Can't be bothered?

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Hi everyone,
Just wondering, what is your reason for avoiding communication/socialising, and why do you feel you can't can't communicate like NT's do?

(This may not include everyone)

eg. I suppose my reason was because when people looked me in the eyes I lost alot of my vocabulary and couldn't think properly, causing me to stutter and make little sense, and look down and say "I don't know".

Having trouble differentiating between background noise and voices makes understanding conversations difficult. Besides that being frustrating it is embarrassing too if you loose track of what the other person is saying. Or you have to put so much effort into understanding someone in a noisy place and trying to look friendly and interested and then think of the right way to respond that it is physically tiring. So, I guess some avoidance comes in when deciding if it is worth all the effort.

Socialising is pretty easy, it's not hard or tiresome. I just don't have a need to talk a lot.

There are lots of reasons for me. Sometimes I just don't have the energy. Others I see no personal gain from it. And a lot of the time I'll have been socializing and then I'll just get sick of dealing with real people and shut myself up for a while.

Problem with this is, I have a terrible problem with loneliness, the kind where you'll be alone in a room full of people, or that I'll want to be with someone but not any of the people I know. It's quite irritating.

You mean like hiding when you see someone in the supermarket?

Because it makes me feel akward and it wastes my time.

That is my reason.

Partly guilt because I think others are "better" than me

I don't always avoid socialising and sometimes I find it ok and really enjoy doing it. But there are times when someone will fire a direct question at me or they will say 'tell me about yourself' and I don't know where to start and get completely stumped. It's like sometimes someone will make a comment or ask a question and I don't say anything cos I have no idea what to say and the other person will be like 'well are you gonna say something then or what?' But then there are other times where I have no problem. Another thing that gets me is that sometimes I can't hold a conversation properly and find this frustrating. This is why I have had a really scary month cos I've had job interviews and in one or two of them I couldn't converse or talk properly and this was quite upsetting for me. But I don't have to worry too much about that anymore as Ive got a job now so its all cool.

I know what you mean about the thinking about what you are needing to do. it get sop frustrating when people do that and they then ask if you are okat, or think you are ignoring them when infact you are trying to listen as much as you can. Ver very annoying

jammie

It almost always results in rejection, ridicule, or other pain, or otherwise drains and stresses me...in other words, it costs me a lot and has very little reward, so why bother?

I feel the same way!

I like socializing, but I seem to require that I have most of my time to myself in order to preserve my sanity. I would go nuts if I was constantly in a social situation. So that is 1 reason why I might avoid it -- it is just too much.

Or sometimes the conversation is just so damn boring (for example, small talk about nothing) that I feel very unmotivated to participate. Also if I believe I have absolutely nothing in common and nothing interesting or useful to talk about with the people, then my inclination is to not participate, and if I force myself to do so, I resent it.

If I was a caveman, I would have to live in my own cave. I certainly could not be a communal cave dweller, especially since caves do not have rooms! Just being in the constant presence of the other neanderthals, even with little or no communication, would be disturbing and draining. I would be constantly leaving the communal cave and going away on little quests of my own.

Similarly, as a modern human, I have no flatmates. I have my unit all to myself. I am very glad that I am not forced to have flatmates for financial reasons because it would overload me. As for living with a significant other, that is different, but still requires the taking of steps to avoid overloading each other.

Lots of different reasons, A being more/less of a pain than B at certain times/situations.
However, sometimes it's because I'm supposed to imagine and look at someone simtalounsely which I can't do.
a) too draining
b) I have to close my eyes to imagaine.

Also, I cannot make eye contact and concetrate on what they're saying. Their eyes are too animate which means I kinda get wrapped up in keeping it.