DandelionFireworks wrote:
I feel some degree of derealization or depersonalization sometimes, especially under stress. (You can bet that at a minimum I'll feel it once a month.)
But aside from that, I often don't really feel safe stepping outside of myself, almost as if the very existence of human beings in the same room could destroy me if I stepped all the way out and left myself vulnerable.
I've often felt like there's a barrier of some sort or another, but I've never considered the barrier some sort of... thing intrinsic to me blocking me against my will. Sometimes I create it, sometimes it just exists as a function of the huge gulf between me and the NTs in my life and sometimes it feels like the NTs create it and use it to keep me not just away from them but away from the good parts of the world as well.
When I saw this topic, incidentally, I thought you were going to bash Autism Speaks. It seemed like a logical conclusion.
I'm not one for bashing others, though I don't like a lot of their practices (I know that's not the right word). Plus, I wouldn't know what I would be bashing them for, in this case.
I can understand a lot that you're saying, but in my case it has always felt as if there was something literally blocking me from the rest of the world. It's not something I put into my place on occasion, but something that has always existed. Purposefully to keep me out of sync with the world.
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?Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.? _Theodor Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss)