Dating multiple people vs. being exclusive

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Being rather naive about dating, I have couple questions. Why do people date multiple people at the same time in a casual, get to know each other sort of way, before they will date a person exclusively? Isn't being friends with someone a way of getting to know them? So why do they need to be romantic with multiple people; and why is that not considered cheating? Just curious. I don't think I would ever have the time or energy to date multiple people. Thanks.

I didn't even know people did that. I thought they dated someone, and called it quits if they didn't like them enough before dating others.

Ditto. I didn't realize that that type of dating was frequently practiced or acceptible until I read an article about a woman who was upset to learn that her the guy she had been dating for a couple weeks was also seeing other people. I couldn't find the original article, but here's a link to another article describing the rule for such behavior. http://dating-advice.suite101.com/artic ... _exclusive

Thoughts? Comments? o_O

For a variety of reasons;
Alcohol
Attention
Adrenalin
Acquisition
Acceptance
Ad infinitum
ADD infinitum
All of the above

Thing is, most people seem to have more excuses than scruples about sex.

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with dating more than one person at a time as long as you aren't sexually intimate and you're open with all persons involved as to your dating status. Once you progress to a sexual relationship with anyone, however, it's time to become exclusive with that person.

Well, going out on an actual date with someone does not equal a romantic commitment. If you are dating people with the idea of being open to a romantic relationship, it is reasonable to date different people as long as it is understood that you are doing so. Then, if one of these people interests you more than the others and if that person returns your interest, you continue with that one and see how it goes. If it goes nowhere, you go back to dating different people. Now, this is not having several steady relationships you are maintaining, this is not what I'm talking about. That's called... well, there are a lot of dirty names for that, especially if you're keeping each one a secret from the others. But dating one person Monday, and another Friday, and a different one the following week, if as stated you are not doing any more than going out and eating or seeing movies or the like, no physical intimacy or mushy talk (sorry, my words for it) then it's just a way of getting to know a person one on one.

Maybe I'm old fashioned in that sense, but it makes you feel like you aren't worth being pursued as a partner, like being tasted as a sample at an icecream shop instead of just being bought as the icecream.

Because when you are friends with someone, your focus isn't on the same things as when your dating them. Also, because different people respond to the dating plan in different ways (e.g. Sex on the 1st, 3rd or wait until marriage) which supports multiple dating partners.

If you are gambling, you're just out to have a good time so you focus on one game at a time (unless you're addicted then all bets are off). If you're in it for a longterm investment, you diversify and invest in different commodities/equities depending on where you are in life and your financial situation.

People just try to find the best match and I think for some people its fun.

Casual dating (including sexual touching) with multiple partners in not unusual. This type of dating is not for everyone (I am personally a monogamous type). However, I accept that others have different ways of living their lives than I.

Casual dating is just that. A date is not a marriage proposal. It is a date. Go to a movie, go for a walk, for for ice cream. A peck on the cheek or a light kiss is appropriate. No explanations and no discussion of intimate nature is needed.

Another level of casual dating includes sexual touching. If a date goes to this level - it is important to discuss ones motives and philosophy. This can be as simple as "hey, I really want to have sex with you, but I have to let you know that I am into open relationships - I am seeing and/or will continue to also see other people. Is this comfortable for you." The dating partner needs to answer this with the same honesty. If it is not comfortable for either party - they should keep their pants on and get what they need elsewhere.

There are also committed partners who are also in open relationships. Each partner knows that the other can see other people to meet their needs. These side relationships are just sexual and casual and do not interfere with the main relationship between the two committed, but open partners.

Then there is me - devoted exclusively to dear hubby. I had this talk with him when we were dating. I advised him that I was hetero and believed in exclusive dating relationships (i.e. if he is intimate with me - he is expected to be exclusive with me). I advised that I needed someone with the same values. He assured me that he was hetero too and that he also was only comfortable with exclusive relationships.

There are many types of dating arrangements. As long as no one is being lied to - there is no ethical compromise.

Funny thing is, monogamy is hard and non-monogamy is also hard, both have their ups and their downs.

Maybe they are not into monogamy or they could be playing the field or they may need some relationship experience with different people to figure out what they want, don't want, what they are like in a relationship ect. Someone told me this analogy 1ce You are buying your 1st car; you look at all the cars on the lot & then decide witch one you want; Would you only test drive the one you are planning on getting or would you test drive others to compare I do NOT agree about comparing serious relationships to cars but some people do treat their relationships as if they are cars; they get divorces when they start having problems & find other people to marry & in a few years do it again

Date as many people as you can while you're still young and free. Don't be bound to the social conventions of old people.

This

As long as you are not being deceptive about it. There is a big different between dating and being in a relationship.

As far as Polyarmory is concerned, what I have taken from their community online is that honesty and upfront-ness is the most important part of the practice.

[quote="SabbraCadabra"][/quote




Threesomes are the best.