Resisting advice and the "You need to..." lines

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I am curious if anyone else shares this trait with me. I instantly resist if someone tells me what to do, or what to think. The full story is on my blog at http://lifeontheothersideofthewall.blog ... think.html.

I didn't read that but I've always been that way. I have to do everything my way, for the most part. Sometimes that means doing things the hard way and there are definitely times when I should have taken someone's advice but it's jut not how I operate. Once in a while, if it's clear to me that somebody knows more than I do and that I should really listen to what they're saying, I'll do it, but most f the advice people give is just superficial, or something that I already know but have chosen not to do for whatever reason.

When I was 5 years old my mom enrolled me in "baby ballet" and I got kicked out the first day because I was totally indignant that the teacher wanted to tell me where to walk.

Welcome to the rest of my life.

It might be a tangent to this discussion, but there are certain stock phrases that really get to me. Among the worst is "well, we have to agree to disagree." When someone says that to me, it feels like they are telling me what I have to do. Just because they have said it, I have to agree to what they have said -- to disagree. But if I disagree with them telling me what I have to do, I'm disagreeing, so I'm doing what they said I have to do. So I'm caught in a trap of their words and it makes me feel violently angry.

I had a similar story regarding Halloween in school. It was REQUIRED that we dress up. I didn't understand this because why would I want to be someone, or something else when I am Aaron? I didn't budge and my parents were called when I refused to wear the costume.

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I totally agree with this and understand that the is a common AS trait. Again, typically AS people are honest, open and rule abiding.

But the rules needs to be sensible and logical and petty-minded officials seem to have a way of creating pointless or illogical rules. Ask them to explain their reasoning is pointless because they haven't a clue.

Sparrowrose - I also don't like that 'agree to disagree' or similar phrases. And I don't like being told to 'calm down' - that only makes things worse

I have an intense dislike of the pedestrian barriers that seems everywhere in central London (that's where I work) . I am prepared to dismantle them or work on the carriage way to avoid them.

Does anyone else feel as I do?

Oh, wow, yes. My mom hates this about me, lol. It's not usually that i'm actively trying to go against something just because someone told me to, but i usually already have set in my mind how i'm going to do something... When someone tries to tell me to do something a different way then i'll listen to what they say, but i generally continue what i'm doing the same way.

Precisely. Its fine to follow a rule if that rule has a legitimate purpose.


"Okay, here's what we're going to do..." is not a rational rule, it's a directive.

WE ain't gonna do any such thing...

Yes, I frequently do tell people "you need to ...." and I won't take advice that I don't agree with and that kind of defeats the purpose of advice. Not that I need it.

I remember being five years old and I was eating a licorice and the teacher was telling me how to eat it. She closed her lips and told me to eat it like that but I refused so I kept eating it my way.

I also remember my occupational therapist telling me how to eat something and she didn't like me sucking in my cheeks to get the chocolate off my teeth. She wanted me to use my tongue than sucking in my cheeks.

I also used to get annoyed by my mother when she tell me how to eat a popsicle. She tell me "You are the loudest popsicle eater ever." I sucked on it as I eat it and she tell me how to suck on it.

I also hate it when people tell me how to eat. I've moved tables before in the cafeteria because someone wouldn't stop saying "Beth, slow down."

I very much dislike being told what to do too . . . I even get angry if someone says "Shhhh!" or "Calm down!" It makes me less calm, and quite indignant.

Something my parents always used to say that would always make me feel very contemptuous and annoyed was this:

"You have the right to an opinion, but you do not have the right to be right."

IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING! . . . but they used to say it so smugly, as if they had presented me with an amazing insight or piece of wisdom.

When people say "We will have to agree to disagree", I think what they're really saying is that they don't want to talk to you about whatever it is any more.

Yes. When people tell me what to do, I become very uncooperative.

I become even more uncooperative if a person tells me "You are not to" do something. In fact, if a person uses that phrase, I will be likely to do exactly whatever they are telling me not to do.

They do not determine what I am *to do*; they don't determine or choose my purpose and I definitely don't need them to explain my own purpose to me.

I had a total meltdown on picture day when I was 10. They told me to smile, and so I did what I thought was smiling. They kept telling me to smile and I insisted I was already smiling and they insisted I bare my teeth while I smiled and then I just started sobbing and they called my mom and she laughed at them and told them to let me do whatever I wanted in the picture.

the agree to disagree thing does not bug me
as much but if it wood help I won't use it,
I will just say "Exiting" and not type anymore.

The Normals don't quite get it, but they know
that they won't be communicating with me
anymore.

I only take orders from police.

I do what I am able, if they are not
reasonable. if they don't give me something
that I am able of doing or insidst that I am
not doing it, I will have a seizure.

I have my own way of doing things. I don't need to be told what to do, and how to do it.