Ever been flirted with/hit on/asked out as a joke?

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Hey all, just a question for you. Has anyone ever had an experience like this one? I honestly can't tell if someone's trying to flirt with me, but I know I've been asked out by boys, only to find out that it was a dare or a joke, which makes me feel extremely hurt, especially since when someone dares someone else to ask a person out, the person is usually very undesirable (to make the dare more interesting). Or even worse, when someone says: "So-and-so gave me 5 bucks to ask you out. So will you go out with me?" This post was actually inspired because I was just on MSN five minutes ago, and two boys from my class who I barely know (but have a reputation for being jacka**es) were messaging me telling me that I had a "huge rack" and that they "loved me" and thought I was "super sexy". It obviously was a joke, because I'm near the bottom of the social totem pole and not so pretty to boot. So, has this ever happened to you? Care to share?

Heh, I must have been even further down the social totem pole as you. Nobody even ATTEMPTED to joke-ask-me-out.

Yeah when I was your age I overheard a kid say to his friend that he was going to ask me out for a joke.

other than that not really. Once this kid asked me out when I was 16 and I thought he was joking and just said "no" right away. I felt bad when I realised he wasn't.

It was like this for me in elementry school. I was a loner then too. I never knew what was serious and what was a joke, so I acted cold and indifferent to all of it.

I've never been asked out, but guys in middle and high school used to hug me and that sort of thing just to see how I'd react. It was probably because their verbal attempts went over my head. Anyway, I wouldn't know if anyone dared them or if it was a joke or not. I certainly didn't find it funny.

Who says you are not so pretty to boot? I doubt that is true. Even if...you are 14...give yourself some time.

Once. By that time in high school I had been bullied enough to smell a trap though so I rejected them immediately.

I think so once in high school, this girl told me her friend liked me and wanted me to ask her out. So I pulled myself together and mumbled "Will you go out with me?" She said yes and I felt a little bit happy until she dumped me a week later... I think something similar to that happened to me in Elementary. People can be awfully cruel...

The same for me. So I always keep telling to myself, that due to autism I couldn't tell joking and bullying apart from honestly interested, in love and (wanting to) ask me out. So didn't like girls and young adult women, because when they ask me out, they might be bullying me. And because I didn't like them, I didn't ask them out, either.

I have not. I only started going to school in 9th grade (plus it was a very small school), so it would have been weird if people started picking on me that quickly. I changed schools after just two years as well. I know people were always intimidated by me, and knew I was really confident so they wouldn't have bothered pulling a joke like that on me.

If it helps....everyone is a jackass when you're 14. Everyone is so self-conscious and willing to do anything to get their 'friends' to like them. There are always jerks around, but I have to say they are particularly bad around those years.

In junior high, absolutely. After that, no.

Kids are cruel and clueless. Don't worry about it one bit. I know social life is more important to school kids than actual education is. Ya know what? Education is paramount. It will shape the REST OF YOUR LIFE. Social life in a school is a trivial thing. Connections you make there would most likely fade away anyway. Think of it as a trial run, or training. You'll eventually graduate and enter the real world where your social life will count for something.

Just ignore the punks.

Once in middle school, once in college. Both were a result of number Four of (what I call) the "Big 4"

"Big 4" is, thus far in my experience on this planet, the four reasons (save for one strange episode I'm still trying to figure out 17 years later) any woman shows interest in me:

1) Substances are involved (someone's drunk or high, and I'm nearby.)
2) Substances SHOULD BE involed (i.e. meds, i.e. someone has exposed or will soon expose themselves as an escapee from the Home for the Mentally Woozy.)
3) Need (someone NEEDS homework help, a ride somewhere, a favor, money, something repaired, something broken, something that isn't me.)
4) *my personal favorite, the one that I mentioned previously which has happened twice in my life* Someone lost a bet.

Me? Bitter? Weekend after weekend? Night after night? Whatever gave you that impression?

This kind of thing is the fodder for many a terrible romantic comedy where guy asks out girl on a bet and then actually falls in love with her. A word of advice, this won't work like a terrible romantic comedy, these guys are douchebags.

What you can do is joke with them back. If you are ever near a door to outside with one of them nearby you can hold the door open for them and say "hey, you wanted me to go out with you?" Walk outside with them and say "we're out" then walk away.

Yeah, after the first joke attempt, where the guy and I were actually 'going out' (we had the status of going out, we never went anywhere) ended in him telling almost everyone in the class that it was a dare and having everyone laugh at me two days later, I either walked away from the person or quickly said no and hightailed it out of there. I hope I never turned anyone who was serious down, though I doubt I did.



Yeah, I definitely value education over social life; I have two great friends, and that's enough for me. It's just a bit difficult when others like to label and pick on you because of that. Middle school kids are very cruel, not to mention boring to talk to. I'm glad I'm not like that, and that in 20 years I can look back and know I did my best and treated others well. However, there are times when I wish that I could be more social like them, and just relax in those situations, and be able to get the right words out when I need them. Oh well, I am who I am.



What I meant by 'not so pretty' is I just don't invest a lot of time into my appearance. My morning routine consists of brushing my hair, brushing my teeth and washing my face every second day. No make up or hair straighteners or any of that jazz. My clothes are also not too spectacular, I wear pretty much the same thing everyday. It's not that I'm unhappy with my appearance, I don't care. Others, however, care about it, and to them I'm not very appealing.



Well, people have never done anything physically to me, thankfully. I've been interrogated about my non-existent love life though, bombarded with questions like "Ever had a boyfriend yet?", "Who do you like?", "Who was the first person you liked?", "Are you gay?", "Have you even kissed someone yet?" etc. Usually by other girls, sometimes by boys. It makes me extremely uncomfortable, because I've never had a relationship yet, and don't want one, because it's middle school and no one's really mature yet. It's not even any of their business. Unfortunately, having no relationship means you're gay to them, which isn't the case. One more year of these people, and then off to high school. I heard it gets better in high school, is this true?

Last edited by Hello-Nurse7 on 05 Jul 2010, 10:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

I haven't been asked out very often...of course as I'm male I don't expect to be.....somebody decided that women shouldn't have to do that. .....just twice that I can remember, and neither of them were joking. Once was when a lady who was interested in me discovered that I had a rather full social diary so it was the only way she was going to get to see me.....when she realised I was actually quite popular, she said with some annoyance, "you do allright, don't you?" The second time was just after I'd got it together with the first lady......don't know to this day why she did that. Possibly she fancied me, but she never said so. All that happened is that I turned up and wouldn't talk about anything else except my new partner and how great it was that we'd got together

The only thing that might have been a joke on me was when I agreed to meet a rather tarty girl I barely knew.....I was quite young at the time, and she'd beckoned me over and started coming on to me. Anyway when I foolishly went back for a second helping at her request, I got beaten up my some macho hunk for my trouble. I never worked out whether it was just a sadistic joke or whether she'd used me to impress her real boyfriend....either way, I felt I was better off out of it.

I know boys who asked out girls in their year randomly as a sort of confidence booster. One piece of advice I once got as a sixteen year-old (from another sixteen year-old) when I was hard on my luck was "ask out every girl you see". By the time you reach adulthood that sort of carry-on will be entirely unacceptable.