Why Don't NTs Say What They Mean

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So I'm in a summet program at the university and I have to fly out to go to my grandmas funeral and the coordinator of the program was sitting at a desk doing nothing and I was talking to her about how I have to leave tomorrow, and she told me I cant miss two days of class. I already talked to the disability lady and she said shed talked to the summer program. I told the coordinator that. the coordinator asked me if I knew the time my flight was leaving and lots of other information. I thought it would be easier if she talked to my mom because my mom knows the information, I dont. and I said "I can call her right now on my cell phone" but she said "just shoot me an email so I can show my supervisor" and I go "ok I will, and you can also talk to my mom so that you know now as well, because she knows the information" and she goes "No, just shoot me an email now". So I go to my room and send an email. I go back out my room because my mom wants to talk to the coordinator and shes not there anymore, and so I tell the student workers there that my mom wants to talk to her. A few minutes later one of the students comes back to my room and says that Shannon is doing stuff right now and she only wants to talk to me directly not my mom.


Oh wow, that explains a lot. Why couldnt she just tell me DIRECTLY that she wants to talk to ONLY me DIRECTLY. Why couldnt she just say that????? Omg.....I hate it when NTs do s**t like this, it pisses me off. She didnt feel like talking to her anyways from what I believe. Oh well screw her.,

It sounds to me like she did tell you directly that she didn't want to talk to your mom and just wanted an email.

Yes Soledad that is very difficult.

It is more or less expected from you, you read between the lines what people mean, during a conversation. People almost never say directly what they mean, or want. Often also because sometimes people can come across as very rude (sorry for my English) if they speak in this manner.

The fact that your coordinator was pushing you to send the mail yourself, already
implies she doesn't want to talk to your mom, but only to you. I mean--What else could have been the reason behind this request? Preferring emails over telephone calls? don't think so.

The question to you now is: Why doesn't your study coordinator wants to speak to your mom? Maybe you can ask this. I'm curious.

As well as not wanting to seem rude, people also often do not say exactly waht they mean because it is awkward for them to do so. For example, people will go to great lengths to avoid giving someone bad news directly or to avoid disagreeing with someone directly. The other person is meant to read between the lines. I like to think that this 'sugar-coating' can be positive (e.g. I don't want to embarrass you publicly but I really don't agree with you, so i will hide my disagreement within this other statement') or negative ('I'd really rather not come straight out and say what i feel, so i will hide behind these other words'). Either way, it makes life a little harder for those of us who have trouble reading between the lines.
On the flipside, it can have its advantages. In my line of work I have surprised people favourably because although I seem shy and retiring socially, I never compromise my true feelings when I have to speak professionally on a point of principle (e.g. telling someone that they need to correct something that they have done wrong).

NT's are always looking for, as Miss Manners puts it, nice ways to say rude or inappropriate things.

I have a different take here. I think that she does not want to talk to your mom but she wants the information directly from you.
What she is hoping is that you will just send her an e-mail and forget about it. If she said I want you to tell me, but I don't want to talk with your mom, that would have invited a lot more questions. For example I would have responded, what's wrong with talking to my mom.
Yes, an all around frustrating experience, and yes I hate it when people talk like that.