dysfunctional families & AS

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Could having a dysfunctional family lead to AS or AS-like behavior? I went to see a psychologist about AS and though she agreed with my self-diagnosis, I am not so sure anymore. My family is very dysfunctional, esp. my mother who has serious mental health issues that she refuses to seek help for. I was also mostly raised by an aunt who was without a doubt bipolar/schizo-affective. (I am not a mental health professional but I am 100% certain of that.) I just remember being a kid and getting yelled at because my facial expressions and reactions were considered not appropriate to certain situation. Was that because of AS that I did not know how to react? Or was it because I was living with 2 unstable people who had trouble with reality? Is the fact that now I don't react emotionally to a lot of situations because of AS or because of the negative, traumatic feedback I got as a child? Are my struggles with social situations due to AS or due to the fact that the people I was raised by did not develop meaningful relationships themselves? Then I think that most people I know have dysfunctional backgrounds and they do not have the same ongoing struggles.

I would suspect that the majority of families are dysfunctional in some fashion. Think of it as a spectrum. I think you're looking for a cause that isn't there.

It's possible that autism and autistic traits contribute to a dysfunctional family.

I don't think a dysfunctional family environment can cause autism, but I think it can sometimes contribute to making autism, or autistic traits, worse. A borderline person, some autistic traits, may not, due to family environment, learn the skills to deal with the world as the person they are. Like, thinking in terms of autism as a spectrum, family environment affects where you are on the spectrum, but it doesn't make an NT autistic. It could cause some things in common with autistics (social and emotional struggles), but not in the autistic pattern.

Well, that's my opinion.

Or another way to put it... the answer could be both.

I understand what you are saying here. I also keep coming back to the whole 'nature or nurture' question. I am not diagnosed Aspie - just suspect that I could be. But I am also aware that my mother doesn't understand or cope with children very well. She child minds and still to this day talks to children like this - shut up, sit still, don't be stupid! Just a whole long list of don'ts really - don't interupt, don't be rude, don't ask so many questions, don't don't don't.

But having said this - the very same mother brought up my sister who is NT without a doubt. She is a very social animal. I have learned tricks on how to appear sociable by watching her.

I often wonder about the effect of parenting on autism. Both of my parents were functioning alcoholics, and I've turned out okay, but my brother was a classic case of Asperger's and life was very difficult for him. I can't help but think that if he had had a little more guidance, and acceptance, as a youth, he may have been able to close that gap between himself and the rest of society, and he may have been a little happier, and less self destructive.

Good question though.

Many traits of ASD could be caused or exaggerated by a dysfunctional family, in my opinion. Check out the traits of children of alcoholics, for example. This could combine with other factors, such as Giftedness. Those posts in this thread that discounted the theory because of NT siblings might not be factoring in the effects of birth order and the variation of the family environment over time.

My parrents went to great lengths to "cure" me of whatever It was that was making me "not normal" this was not done out of the goodness of their hearts, but done to fix a problem that they were having with their adoptive daughter (me) that didint turn out the way they wanted. I was sent to numorous theripists, Placed in special programs, and put on all sorts of drugs. I underwent " holding therapy" for 3 years, and was shipped away to live in a foster home for a few months durring that time as well. This all happened by the time I was 12 years old. I had people constantly telling me how different I was (they told me it was because I was adopted) and how I needed to learn to trust people. (after that? what child would trust anyone?). I was placed in a Special Program in HS. (it was called EI the emotionaly impared class) And eventualy they just stuck me with the rest of the Special education class, where I met a few kids on the specturm and was able to help out, so It wasnt that bad) but the social stigma of that, and having the upbrining that I did. did not make me any better. I was miss diagnosed over and over again, and none of their so called "treatments" were helping. I became depressed (rightly so, honestly) and self destructive, which only made the problem worse. My anxiety was so bad as a teen that I couldnt order my own food in the fast food line, and would get constantly yelled at. trust me, screaming at somone to just "shape up and act normal for once!" durring a panic attack doesnt help anyone.

now that I am an adult, and my childhood is long behind me. I often wonder if I wouldnt have had such a problem (with the stims, eye contact, sensory issues, or anxiety) If I had been raised in a loving supportive family. (i'm just learning what loving suportive family means now, with my own kids).

I am pretty sure that my son has AS (he is 7 months, but displays most of the signs). My daughter is most definatly NT. I plan to love and accept them both equaly, as to not make their problems worse, and to enhance their strengths. (as best as I can). Because I believe that the only way to help anyone is to love unconditionaly.

Not try to fix them into an image of what you think they should be.

My father is a narcissist who drove my mother to schizophrenia. Though I did not receive a diagnosis of Asperger's, I did have many of the traits in my childhood (I still have some now) and I definitely agree that the family environment can cause or at least contribute to the condition.

A simple survey on family environment could be done on this. Is anyone thinking of running one?

A social situation is a social situation whether it is with other people or family. It is possible to have AS even with the dysfunction of a family. The only way you're going to know is when you go through therapy to help with your comorbid problems. AS symptoms don't all lighten up entirely afterwards. This is also possible through medication. If you're on a perfect cocktail of medications to help relieve depression, anxiety, etc, then AS will shine right through. AS is about as permanent and life-long as schizophrenia, bipolar, etc. It is about brain wiring. It will shine right through even without all the stress.

The reaction you got is a hindrance to your wellbeing. You probably had AS for a long time, and because of your parents reactions, it may have made it worse. I believe in the environment influence on genetics/brain wiring can be bad. As for schizophrenia, people who smoke marijuana who are prone to schizophrenia will acquire schizophrenia. In a sense, marijuana is an environmental trigger. People who are likely to have bipolar will probably not live with it until they face an environmental trigger. Most people with bipolar will actually start out with triggers before it finally turns into an automatic thing. People with AS are a magnet to getting more disorders than AS. So your parents sound like they could be AS as well ontop of these other problems.

I have experienced disorientation and psychosis because of depression and meds before. So if your parents have lived these lives of dysfunction, then they too could have AS before all of this dysfunction. People simply brush off AS as being easy to fix, etc. They will call you hypochondriacs, ret*d, etc. It is hard to live with these kind of psychological disorders, and the environment can make people worse.

Sorry, this all doesn't make as much sense as I want it to. I've got a cold.

I came from an alcoholic family with a dad who was constantly yelling and calling my mother names. I don't think it contributed to my AS per se but I do think it made me hypersensative to the environment around me. I have a lot of trust issues and it's very hard for me to open up to people.

holy brain waves batman.......one thing ----people are not driven to schizophrenia. lots of mental diseases can mimic schiz. but do not fall under schiz. types.

is there any doubt that a. s. is brain abnormality? you do not develop a. s. because your parents suck. you are born with it. can be compared to homosexuality in that way. you're either born with it or you're not. it's not a lifestyle choice or a condition you retreat into like multiple personality disorder. you cant't go to a re-education center and be cured of it.

just because it may not be evident at very early age does not mean it's not there...waiting. check out border collie dogs. as young puppies they are as other breeds in their actions....and then something turns on in their brains, without any external stimuli and....they start herding things. born with it. just like those of us on the spectrum are born with it. autism, that is....not herding instincts.....unless you're the octomom.

Epigenetics might be related with autism, and this will be affected by your environment. I suspect 2 identical twins raised on different environments might end up expressing different parts of their gene pool due to the epigenetic suppresion of some of their genes, whish is quite probably related with your family environment (among many other things)...

Other than this, I believe autism affects an already existing personality, thus an authistic genome might be affected by epigenetics AND social environment (behavioral circumstances learned when you are young).

Thus, what you end up with is the sum of all factors: genetics + epigenetics + social environment (this includes family, friends, community, culture, etc.). You also have to add a few random events that might happen to you along your life (accidents, deaths of relatives, illnesses that might affect you, spontaneous mutations on your genes while developing on your mother's womb, etc.).

Kayef - I'm in a similar situation that you are in. I have AS and had a dysfunctional family background. Both my parents were on the autism spectrum. That made them very self-centred and unable to give me the understanding and care that I needed.

I agree with other posters here that, although having a dysfunctional family doesn't cause AS (except maybe sometimes in babies), it can make AS symtoms worse and make you struggle more. Like you, I often wonder how much of my struggles are due to AS, and how much are due to having had a dysfunctional family background. It's not an easy question to answer. The way people treat you as an adult can amplify your stuggles, too.

Are you going to continue to see a psychologist? It's worth getting a good psychotherapist who understands autism spectrum disorders well.

Just so you know, not all autistic parents are self-centred and unable to give the care and understanding that children need. Sometimes, autistic parents can be fantastic, awesome, selfless parents with an extreme interest in what is best for their children developmentally. I think this comes back to the individual and not the autism. There are certainly many things that would present as more challenging for autistic parents than for NT parents.

I am sorry that your parents did not take an interest in you and that this has negatively affected your life. There are a lot of parents out there who are self-centred and "unable" to give their children what they desperately need. A lot of them are NT.

Kayef,

No Asperger's Syndrome is not by any means caused by abuse and disfunctional families, however, that theory was used quite a long time ago when referring to refridgerator mothers who would abuse their children.

AS is something that you were born with and it's now being studied and discovered that it maybe genetic. You are acting a certain way to things because of being on the spectrum like yourself. The only things that seemed to cause your behaviors were learned responses to both your mother and your aunt. They taught you what they believed and then you learned to associate those stimuli with other types of situations that reminded you of what you had learned.
My parents were very abusive to me and they still are very toxic, while my mother is mentally ill and mean. Like you, I learned to respond to things a certain way that my family taught me and got myself into some real trouble. I had to unlearn everything that I had learned and then start from scratch 7 years ago.

Maybe, but all people on the autism spectrum are self-centred due to the very nature of our disability. All parents on the autism spectrum have serious difficulties in understanding their children, even if the difficulties vary between individuals and express themselves differently.



I haven't said that. My parents took an interest in me, but they failed to understand me and care for me well, and they too often put their needs first.



I still think that this is more common among parents on the autism spectrum than among neurotypical parents.