Why do guys hate fat chicks?

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I don't get it. I remember hearing some guys talk about their dating standards and the phrase "If you can't lift her, don't date her." I've been struggling with my weight since I was 10. I've been dieting and exercising and I feel that all of my efforts have been for naught. I'm 5'4" and shy of 250 pounds. I feel like a tiny linebacker most of the time. D:

Women hit on me but I'm straight so it's awkward. If I was bi, I'd be happy with my lady fans. I'm also an aspie so I feel that in combination with my weight makes me completely undesirable. I sometimes feel that without resorting to liposuction that I'll never be good enough for guys my age. Guys never want me, they want my friends.

Guys complain about pretty skinny girls cheating on them but ignore the nice girls that would treat them better just because we don't meet their standards. I guess guys could say it about women too but I feel like women are more willing to settle with a quirky guy who may not be attractive (I see it all the time) than a man wanting to be with a fat chick. :/


7/15 Update: I figured I would post this here so everybody can see that I'm actually doing something about my condition. See? I'm not a total hypocrite. XD

Day three of my new diet and exercise regiment. I'm feeling pretty good about how things are going.

7am: 20 minute brisk walk (wakes me up with the fresh morning air)
Breakfast: bowl of low-fat granola (or blueberry oatmeal, depending on my cravings)
9am: 15-30 minutes on the exercise bike at 70-80 rotations per minute. (My legs feel like lead afterwards but I feel SO GOOD.)
Lunch (11 or noon) : Some form of low-fat sammich (yay flatbreads!) or egg substitute with reduced fat cheese and hot sauce (I LOVE Frankie's Red Hot Sauce).
1pm: 30 minute core workout with 5 pound kettle bell (I'll upgrade to 10 next week, when I'm used to the movements).
Dinner (4pm or 5pm): Some low-cal low fat dinner I make with grilled meats accompanied with a salad of some variety. (Strawberry and Spinach salad is my favorite!) Smile
7-8pm: 50 cal Fruit pop, homemade smoothie or a cup of yogurt for dessert. ^_^

After all this, I feel sore but it feels good. My head is in a happy place. As far as the food goes, I don't feel deprived of anything really. The commercials for restaurant food don't even tempt me anymore. ^_^

I would date someone who is fatter than I am, but only because I'm almost a skeleton so any girl who isn't anorexic is probably fatter than me. Someone who weighs 250 lbs? Hell, no. I don't see what's with all these fat people complaining that they can't get a date. All you gotta do is change your diet and exercise more. It's not like you were born with cleft lip or something.

I have a feeling a lot of fat people don't enjoy exercising. They feel like they're exercising a lot because they go to the gym maybe twice a week. The problem is they exercise to lose weight, not for pleasure. You have to enjoy it, otherwise you won't have the motivation to do it. I take walks every day, run through the woods, and run up and down steep hills, because it feels good. I don't just make a half-@$$ed attempt at it like most half-hearted dieters probably do.

It's not all men -- it really depends on how you are shaped (BBW vs. just big), and also regional, cultural, and ethnic tastes. I've noticed black men tend to like bigger women, black or otherwise, but not so much on the white guy side. Still, if you want to be smaller, have you spoken to your physician? Working with a doctor on the issue will be a lot more effective than fad diets and unguided exercise.

I'm with you on how hard it is -- I struggle with my weight as well, yet work out 4-5 times a week.

erisad, don't get down. personally, i don't care about weight or anything. it's what's going on in their head that counts.

and i think you're cute. someone would be lucky to have you.

There's a difference between being curvy and being overweight, though.

My advice is to move to a different country. Odds are your weight would go down, or be less of an issue, and you might like your doctors better.

I spent several years as an adult being very slim and many more years being very fat and I found it did not make any difference with dateing. Men did not seem to mind my weight but they did mind my personality. I did have much more interest off men when I was very slim but that was a nuisance more than anything and I prefer to have less attention. That also comes with age, now Im in my 30's Im in the 'mumsy' category rather than the 'sexy' category that 20 year olds are in, but I much prefer walking around town and not getting approached or commented at.

I find that fat or slim, when men ask me out its because they fancy me, rather than because they like me, I find my personality grates on them after a while and they are not able to tollerate me. I dont think looks matter over all, as people stay with those who they get on with rather than those they fancy, especially in the 'long haul'. I expect things will get easier for you as time goes on as older men often prefer fatter women and are less interested in 'arm candy' to show off and more interested in a deeper relationship.

Hate? Nah. Its such a strong word. Avoid would be a better word. Its just what people go for, for some its the outside that is the only thing that matters and there are many of them, thats why you hear alot of it.

Me, i'd rather take a round girl any day over an "Angelina Joulie" with a cigarette in her mouth and a kid in her arms...