Help, I need a new book series to get into!

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I'm out of stuff to read. What I really want is a long, fun book series that will last me a while and that I can form an unhealthy attachment to. (Am I joking? Not sure.)
The kind of thing I like, (books, TV and movies) in no particular order:
Animorphs
Harry Potter
His Dark Materials (The Goldan Compass, etc)
Stargate (SG-1 and Atlantis)
Lost
Lord of the Rings
Doctor Who
Digimon
Pirates of the Carribean

The things I like about these stories:
Decently fast pace, exciting and unpredictable plot.
A wide variety of characters doing many different things at the same time.
Simple but flexible plot devices that present a wide range of unique scenarios.
An ability of at least some of the characters to be practical in their decision making despite conflicting emotions.
Elements of horror and humor.

It doesn't have to be fantasy or sci-fi, but this seems to help because of the wide range of possible interesting plot devices. (The Ring, the Stargates, etc) I don't really care what age group it's intende for as long as it's not much younger than Animorphs or Digimon, because at that point I don't know if it would be interesting. And books shorter than the Animorphs books are just too short.

Any suggestions?

pretty little lairs
http://www.amazon.com/Pretty-Little-Lia ... 0060887303

now a tv show
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXjhKeIArbk[/youtube]

What about the "Inheritance" series by Christopher Paolini?
1.Eragon
2.Eldest
3.Brisingr
http://www.alagaesia.com/eragon.htm

Books by Paul Zindel, Meg Cabot, and Phillip Pullman. They made a TV series out of the Trilogy by Phillip Pullman; (The same guy who wrote the Golden Compass series) The Ruby in the Smoke, The Tiger in the Well, and the Shadow in The North.

Paul Zindel has a cool book series about a teen boy detective and his girlfriend, who go around solving crime mysteries. And finally, there is Meg Cabot, author of a really cool series about a teen "mediator" one who can both see and feel ghosts and her adventures solving mysteries about them.

Also Inkheart, Inkspell, Inkdeath by Cornelia Funke

I'd rec gormenghast series but they aren't exactly fast-moving, but they are humorous and dark (and my favorite books).

Night World by L.J. Smith?

The last one in this series has never been published, but after reading the actual series there's quite a bit of very good (and bad, of course) fanfic out there.

I don't know if this series will strike your fancy, but I was obsessed with it for years. lol

The Prydain Chronicles by Lloyd Alexander. I found these books when I was young and still love rereading them from time to time. They are clearly enough written that children can understand them, but without dumbing down the content. I also like the Raymond E. Feist riftwar books. There are a lot of books in the series broken into little trilogies. What keeps the books from being repeats of previous books is the way each trilogy seems to have its own style. The first three are done in a traditional fantasy style. The next three, if memory serves, is almost the dirty dozen meets fantasy. The Empire trilogy of books have a oriental fantasy type culture to them. They all further events in the same worlds, but with different perspectives and points of view.

If you were into Harry Potter I would suggest The Immortal Secrets of Nicholas Flamel by Michael Scott. It's about the famous alchemist, Nicholas Flamel (who also received a mention in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone), but it takes place in the modern-day world. It's pretty awesome, it has a lot of historical references as well as a mix of modern day technology and arcane magic. Good replacement for Rowling's series. It's a six-part series that is due to be finished in 2012.

Books so far:

The Alchemyst
The Magician
The Sorceress
The Necromancer

Books to be finished:
The Warlock (TBF 2011)
The Enchantress (TBF 2012)

Try The Midnighters by Scott Westerfeld. I love YA novels, and this trilogy is NOT a teenage drama-rama. It has almost none of that, but a ton of plot, action, and very interesting characters.

In the trilogy, there is;
The Secret Hour
Touching Darkness
Blue Noon

I loved it so much in high school that I went back and bought the whole trilogy in my early 20's, it's very intelligent, worth several reads through!

BTW, is that Haruko from FLCL in your avatar, wigglyspider? The manga is awesome of FLCL, and if you like manga, try Battle Angel Alita. Very deep story with a highly compelling cyborg character named (you guessed) Alita.

Good luck!

Artemis Fowl and Enders Game.

the Dresden Files series by Jim Butcher
the Codex Alera series by Jim Butcher
the Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris
the Second Sons Trilogy by Jennifer Fallon
etc.

those are just some of the many series i've read which i thought were good

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is really good. You say horror and humour so maybe check out the books that the show True Blood is based on: Southern Vampire Mysteries. Though I think the show is better, the books I've read are pretty good.