Please give me some advice on improving social skills in HS.

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I'm going into my senior year on the 9th of August, and I want to be slightly more social, how do you recommend I do this?

Study body language. Also, join some clubs! Clubs are a great way to meet people, or maybe find some people you already know.

When I looked back on my senior year in high school, although I didn't realize it at the time, something I missed was that I liked associating with older kids. Even if we weren't directly friends, I just missed being in a class with older kids.

So perhaps community events, activities, clubs?

I do go to groups. I join and try a variety of groups. Most groups, there's a dynamic, the leader's kind of sorry he or she has taken it on, and isn't good at delegating. So the members are kind of bored, the group doesn't really do much, but the leader at times feels overwhelmed. That's the dynamic! So, if a member suggests the group do an additional activity, the leader's likely to soft-pedal it or come up with a reason, because frankly, he or she doesn't want to do more (and actually is more polite and understanding about it when the member is a newcomer). It's occurred to me, maybe volunteering to help with an activity the leader has already committed to. That might work better.

So, I"m saying all this to give a more realistic view of groups. By all means, try them. Try them initially with a light touch and see how it goes.

Or . . . start one or two groups of your own! And see how it goes, and learn how to delegate, and as long as someone is moving in a generally positive direction, don't be too picky.

Last edited by AardvarkGoodSwimmer on 03 Aug 2010, 8:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

in my final year of HS i took a couple of classes that none of my regular peers were in, i.e. younger or older students were in the class. that way, it allowed me to break outside my comfort zone and meet people of a different group.

i also joined the speech and debate club. this helped me with my confidence.

one other thing i did was put my locker in a very high traffic area - but far away from where my potential bullies were located (i.e. not near the locker rooms). as stressful as it was at first, it allowed me to interact with a lot of people on a daily basis.

something my socially outgoing NT daughter does is that she chooses a desk in the very middle of class if she is allowed to pick. that way, she has potential new friends on all sides of her. and she talks to other people who look lonely, uncomfortable, or who are sitting by themselves. those people are less likely to be mean or exclusive.

good luck next year!

i just say how i feel, and completly disregard the others in high school. this acutall attracted certain people to me

That's kind of the zen approach of trying less hard!

I still think, when someone reaches out to you, respond in a medium way. Respond in a way comfortable to you.

when your at your new school try and find out what others are talking about. Try to stay current on events happening in your area it could lead to some conversation starters. Look them in the eye's while talking try to smile body language is a good key factor when talking to someone.
Join some school activity that you have an interest in , that's a good place to start.
hope this helps and good luck.

I made lots of mistakes with poor social skills in high school, which lead to me being a target of bullies, then that slipped me into depression.

I have a few words of advice:

1) Don't try hard too look funny

2) Do not make off-beat jokes

3) Know when to talk in a conversation and how to talk in a conversation

4) Read a person's body language and try to tell if they are interested or not interested in talking

5) Use eye contact when you are communicating in a conversation

6) Do not be easy to manipulate and if your friends push you to do stupid things (smoking, drinking, etc.), you always have to say no regardless of how insistent they are

7) Always know how to make your own decisions, don't have people make decisions for you

Take advice from others and listen to others, this is a must

I made lots of mistakes with poor social skills in high school, which lead to me being a target of bullies, then that slipped me into depression.

I have a few words of advice:

1) Don't try hard too look funny

2) Do not make off-beat jokes

3) Know when to talk in a conversation and how to talk in a conversation

4) Read a person's body language and try to tell if they are interested or not interested in talking

5) Use eye contact when you are communicating in a conversation

6) Do not be easy to manipulate and if your friends push you to do stupid things (smoking, drinking, etc.), you always have to say no regardless of how insistent they are

7) Always know how to make your own decisions, don't have people make decisions for you

Take advice from others and listen to others, this is a must

A few things come to mind.

1) Don't try to be someone you are not. If you are generally a quiet person, don't try too hard to be outgoing. Instead, be confident, and people will just think of you as mysterious or aloof. This can work to your advantage.

2) Make friends with one highly social person. That friend will introduce you to their many friends, and will do a lot of the work of socialization for you.

3) Talk to girls like you are their older brother. Don't try to hard to get their attention or approval, and don't be afraid to talk to any girl no matter how attractive she is.

4) Talk to guys as if you are already their best friend. If they aren't cool with it, just move on.

5) Keep your conversations brief, and try to be the first to end the conversation and walk away. Let them miss you a bit; don't be needy or clingy.

6) If you have special interests, try not to ramble about them. (Hard, I know.) Listen to the other person to find common subjects of interest, and talk about those.

Just don't try too hard. There are billions of people in this world, and not all of them will like you. Try not to judge them for it, and just keep on making new friends.

Good luck!