Is this an eating disorder?

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I'm kind of embarrassed to mention this, since I'm a guy. Usually we don't have that kind of stuff.

I think I might have an eating disorder. It's neither anorexia nor bulimia, since I still eat and I don't forcefully puke (and the idea's not really something I'm partial to...). Sometimes (not rarely; often at least once a day) I eat too much at a time (Like, possibly a thousand or two thousand extra calories in place of a snack), and then feel guilty about it. Almost like I start eating then can't stop easily. I find that despite a normal height-weight ratio, I can be self-conscious and think that I did something wrong then, and I tend to get on myself about it. I used to be overweight, but being on the football team for a few years soon changed that. I still exercise, but for some reason now I'm overly conscious about what I eat. Or then I'm not, and then I hate myself for not being conscious about it.

When I am conscious about it, usually I tend to not eat enough. When I was depressed I would just skip meals sometimes. Not all the time, but when I didn't, as with now when I'm not depressed, I technically don't eat enough. A single sandwich and that's it for lunch. If I drink anything beyond water, that's too much.

Bringing back the gender comment, I still don't get why I would think this way. >_> When I was severe-depressed earlier this year, I thought it was just a symptom of depression. I'm past that severe depression state, though a few symptoms remain like low self-esteem. So either it's a part of depression lingering on, or it's not part of it altogether and an issue in itself.

So does anyone have any ideas as to what this is?

I am not a doctor - all the usual disclaimers apply.

But could it be related to stimming? Perhaps, like those who engage in other repetitive behaviours, you just crave the stimulus?

Are you concerned about the eating or about the way you feel about the eating, or both?

I do not know specific details here, but the "I bet you can't eat just one" challenge of junk food is actually a formulated and mixed-in ingredient of that stuff. Then along with that, I tend to be hypoglycemic and often reach for snacks ... and then off we go on another pack of cookies or box of ice cream.

I think a lot of things contribute toward our eating *habits*, and I find our eating habits *can* be addressed at least somewhat by learning more about what we actually *need* to eat ... and that is not exactly the same for everyone. Think about the fuel tank of a motor vehicle: What *needs* to go in there is the first question, then what else *can* go in there without causing great harm? As best I can, I try to eat healthily, watch the additives and avoid contaminants.

You sound like me. I often just forget to eat.

I have one big meal a day, but the rest of the time I just eat snacks if they're available, or drink water if they're not.