DonDud wrote:
Apology has never come naturally to me. My inclination, especially when younger, was to explain why I did something, or why I failed. Everyone else calls this an "excuse," and I've always hated being accused of "making excuses." I didn't think of it as shifting blame or trying to weasel out of trouble, I just wanted to lay out the facts. While I still prefer to explain myself over simply saying "sorry," I often just do the "sorry" because people expect it. Maybe people don't care about the details or the whys, just the [potentially meaningless/insincere] word of apology.
i think my husband's got Asperger's, too,
he argues the same point and tops it even by remarking that a "sorry" uttered by him only under "social coercion" ( upset wife or son. etc. ) is rendered worthless, so he might as well not say it....
quote:" you think i am only apologizing, because you "made" me, so what's the point?"
although it's funny, when he has a run-in with other people and i try to explain to him how facts might look from their point of view and why they reacted the way they did, he accuses me of making up excuses for them,
. , so there is definitely an overlap of "explanation", "excuse" and "apology" in some people's mind. ( probably some kind of Venn diagram, lol )
i for my part say "sorry" all the time, even if someone else steps on MY toes on the bus, :roll.
annoying habit, i worked on stopping it - for years, lol.