Blog post on the epidemic of forced celibacy in males

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http://www.inmalafide.com/2009/08/06/ge ... the-sexes/

The sort of males who are being rejected would not have, all that long ago. This article shows the damage that has been done. The way things are now is not "the way things have always been."

Great; some more whiny BS about guys thinking that life sucks because they can't get laid. Sex is a privilege. No one has the right to another person's body.

Guys like this need to stop feeling sorry for their selves and either go pay a prostitute or stop being a whiny b.

I'm also so tired of most of the relationship-less guys on WP acting like women are horirble because we won't take a second look at them. Hello, maybe if you get off the internet for a few minutes, take a shower, stop being desperate, stop acting like we owe you something, stop acting like the world owes you something, then maybe we will be interested in you. Oh, its also funny to hear about guys complaining that they can't talk to women. Most of them are capable of opening their mouths and speaking, and if they would only get offline or stop playing xbox for a few hours, they could go out and actually get better at this skill. It isn't like we speak an alien language or something, Just be yourself, unless you're a perv!

Here's a little secret key in the form of text. Work with what you got, and stop magnifying what you don't have. I'm sure most average NON-SHALLOW women don't expect you to go to college or to get rich. Most guys don't want to suck up their pride and go for the women that they actually have a chance with. Its true. Even a lot of ugly or fat guys don't want women who are as big or as ugly as them. This is another reason why I think a lot of guys on here "can't" get laid.

Anyways; rant has ended. How many more threads will there be today with guys complaining about the opposite sex??

Forced epidemic of celibacy?

I certainly feel pity for these men - why back in the 50s, the lack of job opportunities and blatant discrimination against women in the workplace means someone would have to settle for guy who thinks of women as sex-giving sandwich makers! Now these b*****s want all sorts of crazy entitlements like respect and being treated like an actual person instead of a higher quality blow up doll.

No, the way things are now aren't the way they've always been - thank the FSM for that.

I read the blog

Ive seen that a lot of men think that some men who kill women or rape women were 'driven' to it by women and 'womens position in society', but I dont agree and think people will do things like that if they have 'something wrong' with them no matter what they experience. The things Ive read about psychotic episodes where people get more paranoid and take things personally and has been recognised to be the cause of quite a few killings suggests to me, these guys are often at the begining of a psychotic episode where they appear ok to their aquaintances but are actually not ok.

I think our society is not well and over crouding and 'capitalistic ideals' make things unpleasant for lots of people. This shows in the increase in road rage and mental illhealth, child abuse, domestic violence, st crime etc. However I do not think it comes from the 'liberation of women' or from women 'sleeping with jerks'.

I think it would serve lonely men better to examine their selves to see what is holding them back (such as insecurity and bitterness) rather than focusing on the percieved 'fault of women'.

All people want to be loved but creating hate takes people farther from that goal not nearer to it.

yet another whiny little s**t?

There is plenty of both good anf bad advice out there. Also, not everyone is interested in sex this sex that in the first place. asexuality exists, and some people just dont even care about relationships. As for me, I am a borderline asexual BUT id rather concentrate on fixing my own problems instead of finding sex like every other god damn human f*****g being is obsessed with. People need to LEARN to be f*****g happy with what they already have. Yes, I have had women interested in me numerous times, and I was and still am not interested, I just simply feel nothing for this silly little game called trying to get some. Yes, I will also admit I used to care at one point, and that was back in high school when I was a stupid, ignorant teenager.



@stellar: I agree with the go out and actually try mentality BUT ya got to remember those on the spectrum face additional issues, such as sensory overload (sights and sounds and even touch can trigger it), and the fact that even if you keep on practicing and practicing the body language is STILL gonna be a problem for those on the spectrum. Practice helps to a point but there will always be the fact that the actions will be rehearsed and whatnot.


@ all the whiny guys: If you cant get any, at least you still have your hand. LEARN TO USE IT! I swear that the real reason women don't "like ya" is because those of yas that do whine and b***h and moan about not getting any.... women just simply don't like that. My suggestion? Stomach it, grow a pair and stop being a crybaby

Yes I know I am coming off as totally mean. Its just I am so damn annoyed at the fact that the love and dating forums are nothing but "WAH SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME WAH I CANT GET LAID!" and the sad thing is, those of us who actually do post reasonable advice get totally ignored. Soon enough I am probably just gonna say to those whining, stop being an attention whore, since that is what you are if you don't even attempt to try out peoples advice and such.

Bravo!

Keep up the good work!

On a side note, Sodini was a complete dumbass who was chasing after something that he was not equipped to get "unpaid". I read that blog of his and a few things come to mind.

I agree with on the warping effects that WIC and Welfare had on gender relations in societies within america. I say "societies" because there are multiple societies existing within America.

If you want to see what Matriarchy looks like (people raised in single mom households/raised by their grandmothers), go to the ghetto.

His whole bitterness to religion thing was simply because he probably went into that church hoping to find Harriet the Perfect Housewife and started awkwardly hitting on the first decent looking girl there. He was asked to leave by the pastor. Church is a social club like any other social club (bar, dance club, party) if you are a creepy weirdo who doesn't fit in then you are not gonna last long.

If he wanted to bang twenty year olds so badly, he could have solved that problem with a few mouseclicks as opposed to murdering innocent people.

Last edited by RICKY5 on 21 Aug 2010, 11:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

well, Im gonna post something here that I posted in another thread. It should help reinforce my own and stellars points.

Stopped reading when I saw the words "borderline-autistic headcase".

Be happy you stopped right there. It gets much worse the further you get into the post/blog. Lets just say I think my brain was hemorrhaging from the ignorance/stupidity in that blog :/

This is a disgusting article. The details he picks out from a mass murderer's profile to support his case are not necessarily relevant. The writer does not know George Sodini. All he has is a picture, his name, his age, and the circumstances surrounding his murders. Whether his social problems stemmed from a lack of success with women or vice-versa is not clear. Moreover, the case that the writer supports is that everyone is better off with men earning the money and women in a contractual agreement whereby they can be legally raped.

This sums up my opinion of that article quite well. I still can't believe how selfish a lot of guys are. I mean, this guy wants to take us back to the 50's (even though he later denies it, it's there in his post through all this "expected social contract" BS). The best thing that blogger can do is lose the sense of entitlement. I went through that in high school. I used to think as a kid that I deserved the world (yes, I was that narcissistic), and when puberty kicked in, that sense of entitlement carried over to sex. But then I got rejected for the first time, and after years of introspection and suicidal thoughts, I emerged better for it, without said sense of entitlement.

This, on the other hand, is where I disagree. I can't even so much as look at a woman anymore or try to introduce myself to one without the threat of being pointed out as a major creep or getting a restraining order taken out on me. I'm not talking about sex at all, nor even a relationship of any kind. I just want to be able to strike up a conversation. It's one thing if i was like that Sodini character and spent years stalking women, or was like Roissy and only cared about sex. But when I'm out there, it would be nice to be able to strike up a conversation with somebody without becoming targeted as a criminal. I don't blame women for acting this way like many other men would do (after all, as they don't know me, I could be a potential rapist for all they know, not to mention my AS puts out a creep vibe to begin with), but still, it makes it impossible for me to say anything safely.

Aw crap another hater blog. I have seen some pretty disgusting blogs and forums out there from people who wish to expound their racist and sexist beliefs, and this one hits close to the top of my list of gag-inducing rhetoric. I guess they feel the need to justify their backwards beliefs and hope other will join them. Oy, when do those aliens come back to activate our DNA?

What this blogger is saying has nothing to do with 'the epidemic of forced celibacy in males'. Yes, there's a growing number of male celibates , but this blogger just sounds justifying the 'Sodinic' actions , insulting the women and going into this nice/jerk guy thing again rather than explaining the real economic/social/historical reasons for the male struggles in dating.

While i do agree that everyone deserves love and sex, i do not agree with the anti-equality stance the blog takes. I also do not agree with the idea that "men have to do this and that" (which is not true, where i live lots of ugly guys on welfare have girlfriends and vice versa)... so basically, men don't have to do jack s**t!

Everyone can get someone, but everyone also have minimum standards. Its not only women who have requirements on men, i for example refuse to date women who has kids or smokes. That removes a chunk of women from the dating-pool, but i'm fine with it: I rather be alone than to be with someone that have screaming kids, or someone that i cannot be in the same room with.

IMO guys like Sodini really should forget about women and get a Realdoll.

Now here you're being little harsh. I can't speak for others, but I have to defend myself at least.

Changing lifestyles is not always as simple as "turn off the PC and just go out" , sometimes this kind of socially-isolated lifestyle is the consequence rather than the reason of being alone and friend-less.

Talking about my personal experience , back to school days, I always had hard time in forming friends : as a result , my week-ends and summers were mostly about staying home watching tv , reading books or playing games. That was the case during my elementary/middle school.

During high school , I got real friends ( I think) , we were five guys : me , B, W , S , R.
During that time of friendship , I had a very healthy and NORMAL social life: I was used to hang out a lot with them , going to events , doing activities ....etc.
Normally, we stayed less in touch during college years (since each went to a different college) but we stayed friends and doing hang out during weekends.
Yes, we were all a bunch of nerds/weirdos kind , but I had a normal social life back them and it was a case till the 3nd year of college when things started to change.

-B went to study/work in France.
-W got married with an over-religious girl who doesn't let him do anything.
-S went to work in KSA.
-and R ...lol, the R who was the weirdest and lonelinest one among us , he was also the closest to me, he is now the most successful young film director in my country . He has his own wide social circle , a circle full of local celebs/artists/babes. It seems that his old uncool buddy has no place in his cool new circle hence no longer calling back despite my many initiations and attempts. I am not upset at him, I am happy for him , and I think what happened is very normal/natural ,that's the human nature.

During college time, I formed temporary three 'friends' (2 dudes and a dudette) during college years , I was used to hang out with them too and I was used to help them in math/stats after class , but those didn't try to stay in contact with me after graduation. (yet I tried! I called them many times trying to set up something but there were always excuses, I later gave up and waited for vain).


After all these changes , after graduation and after starting work , I am friend-less again and as a result , I am sucked again into the old isolated lifestyle again : Work ---> home , home ---> work. I do nothing after work other than staying home reading books/surfing the net/playing games , same during weekends.
Why is that? because I have nothing else to do outside the home (other than working), going to some resto alone is boring , going to some night club alone is awkward ....and boring! Going to beach alone is... refreshing ...but that's all.

The callers on my cellphones are always parents or work related. My cellphone is the physical proof of how unsocial my current life is.

Each one in my workplace has his own social circle and they're not so open to add anyone else.


You can say something like "ok, just turn off the pc you lazy ass and just go to some bar / club and get some friends" ..... lol ....seriously? hello?

Loners can't form friendships in places like bars or social clubs , people by nature avoid the one with no companion. Just imagine a guy who always come alone to some bar , would you approach him? Not sure about you, but I bet 99% won't (one night stands are not counted).
The socializing thing only becomes effective when you already have a group of friends.


So in sum:

Having Friends ==> Normal social life , healthy lifestyle , chances of having a gf.
not having friends ===> indoor lifestyle , no social life. Chances of having a gf is close to zero.

I'm sorry if I appeared to be cold and harsh. I was just being blunt; its not a personal attack on anyone. What I meant to convey if that guys have to go out there and actually approach women in order to have a chance. I know they don't find it to be easy, but how else are they going to meet women? I'm just saying that women can't do all of the work in starting a friendship, or more.

I know having normal social contacts is a tough task for a lot of people. I am one of those people. I hate the phone, I don't even like going out to gatherings of any kind, and again, I hateee the phone. I would rather not have a phone but it's just a lot more convenient for emergencies and I need one for the places I volunteer at. I am constantly having to email or text or telephone, and I dread it most of the time. Anyways, point is that I understand what you're saying, because I find it emotionally draining to keep up unnecessary social relationships.

I'm not saying that you guys can't be nerds or whatever else you call yourselves. A lot of women actually like guys who are great with electronics and who are really smart. These guys are probably "my type," if I even have one. I'm only saying that you guys can't really expect to get laid or have a relationship if you don't put your self out there to at least a few women. I'm not saying that because women are shallow; its because we don't have a directory of all the guys in our town, so if you never go out and never introduce yourself, we may or may not know that you even exist.

It's okay to be awkward or nervous. Most of us aren't going to think you're creepy just because of that. Practice is still good though, because it desensitizes you a little tiny bit. Rejection is bound to happen to everyone, and getting over the fear of rejection is part of learning how to talk to the opposite sex (or the same sex) comfortably.


-Anyways I'm not writing this at my computer, so ill end the message here.