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Hi everyone!
I've spent the last few month wondering if I need a doctor, a psychiatrist, or to just relax. Ever since high school, I have been reading up on Aspergers and wondering if I might have it. I'm a graduate student, studying medieval literature, and a few of my friends/classmates have been diagnosed. I actually understand them better than my other classmates (I understand that funding is limited, but I don't get why competition gets dragged into social outings). Talking to my friends with aspergers, we seem to have a lot in common: specialized interests, difficulty "getting" our classmates, a unusual sense of humor, and (weirdly) not seeing gender as an issue when picking a lover/significant other.
Very recently four family members of mine were diagnosed with aspergers or high functioning autism. It was like a bizarre trend in my family. Now my mother has been insisting rather cruelly that this might explain why I am so "weird" and "stuck-up". I always thought I was different, but I never worried too much. I have wonderful quirky friends and a great long term partner. I don't need to be the life of any party.
My school has a disabilities clinic with free testing. Should I? What are the risks/benefits to a diagnosis?
Being me does get in the way of work. Over the summers I work at a day camp. I adore my job, but was recently called into my supervisor's office and told that my arrogant attitude was an issue. That was really shocking for me, because I have a great deal of respect for this supervisor and I always thought she knew that I admired her intelligence and experience. I guess not. She said it was nothing I said, but the way I said it. I really don't understand.
I don't want to offend/bother the people around me and I don't know what it is about me that does make people think I'm arrogant or rude. None of my close friends think that, just coworkers/classmates that I don't know as well. I sort of just want to go on with my life, not worrying about a diagnosis, but then, I worry that I am unwittingly offend others. I never wanted to do that. Should I see someone? Would I learn how to be less offensive to others? How certain is a diagnosis and what is the process like, esp. as an adult?
I apologize for this really long rambling post. I would love anyone's thoughts or ideas on the whole situation. I feel very lost and a little scared about the whole thing. Thanks!
-eowyn10101

Hi eowyn!

I can only speak as the mother of an 11 year old aspie and the wife of a man who's not yet been test, but is very likely aspie.

Getting my son's diagnosis helped us understand him..and in what I read and learned I began to understand my husband as well. I express affection in ways he can't...and he was expressing affection in ways I didn't see.

My husband is also beginning to understand himself better. He's a brilliant IT guy, but the past has had trouble holding jobs, either because of social issues, or because he didn't understand the nuances of small company unwritten policy. We want to get him diagnosed, so that if ever has trouble at a job again, he can say "I have a disability..here is some info on it..it would help me if requests, and directions were emailed rather than verbal, if policy changes were put in writing, things were explained very literally, etc."

If you have access to free testing services, I would jump on it, as it has cost us thousands of dollars in testing fees. You may be eligible for services through your university, etc. And of course, you can choose who you wish to disclose the diagnosis to. If you don't need accommodations in school, or the workplace, keep it to yourself. If you do, you'll have the test report.

Best wishes!!

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

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Welcome to WP!

Hello. A diagnosis can be helpful if you ever need to use the ADA.