aspie men and sexual misbehavior

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i was reading a lot of threads recently and i was alarmed at the amount of sexual harassment i read about. are most aspie men really that clueless about sexual etiquette? and hearing about how no one wants to take responsibility is even more upsetting. i just want to know the general view on this as i am appalled... and saddened

As an man with Autism i am tired of perverts using autism as an exuse for perversions

I for one are Sexless and would never even think of sexually harrasing someone, although autistic people may not know what is socially acceptable and may come across as Sexually Perverted. Those who do commit sexual harrasment, are told of what they have done, and still dont accept it, should.

I would be too shy to ever sexually harass anyone.

I can't even respond properly when a woman is attracted to me, let alone trying to start something with a woman who isn't interested.

Aspie men are probably the most clueless about sexual etiquette, really. I went to a support meeting recently and a young aspie woman was harangued by many aspie men looking for a GF.

Sexual etiquette is reasonably diverse though. Many eccentricities may be considered in different lights depending on the viewer?

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Last edited by Willard on 01 Sep 2010, 11:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Unfortunately, my friends and I know a guy, who told us he's an aspie but he's constantly sexually harassing our one friend whose already got problems cause she's an MTF... I think this is part of the reason another friend of mine whose a psych major seems convinced he has narcissistic personality disorder and is not a real aspie... I'm not a diagnostician, but maybe he has both ? But generally I just prefer when he (the aspie guy I know) doesn't talk.

Oh boy....do I have a story about this one!



About six months ago I met a guy with Asperger's who is a convicted sex offender. He is the founder of a AS support group I went to and for reasons I don't have the time to share now, he admitted this to me (the rest of the group participants seemed to know about it already) about an hour after I arrived at the meeting that was being held at his place. I know he wasn't just making this up (and who knows why someone would....but you never know what some people will claim about themselves to garner attention or for some other god-awful reason) because I looked him up on my state's sex offender registry and he was there. He was convicted of being in possession of HUNDREDS of images of child pornography and some of the images were of children as young as three engaged in various sex acts. Without going into further details at this time, he essentially blamed all this on his AS and claimed he is not actually attracted to children. The other members of this group (including this guy's girlfriend apparently) seemed to believe him, but I did not. Anyway...if anyone actually wants to know further details, (and they are quite, shall we say, "interesting" IMO) i'll post more about it later. I need to clean this house up a bit before it gets too late.

My former NT boyfriend was the opposite, he was very timid and reluctant about sex. Honestly, he didn't seem to prioritize it much which was disappointing. I think his meds decreased his sex drive.

The only thing I can think of that might be an understandable reason for this, but not an excuse, is the possibility that some boys with Asperger's might be more susceptible to sexual abuse as young children. If it happens early enough sexual abuse can really screw up the child's development of sexual norms. It's a well known fact that sexual abusers were almost all abused as children, and Aspies probably are more susceptible.

http://www.articlesbase.com/mental-heal ... 92820.html

I'm not speaking to the validity of the above article, but much of what it does point out seems to make a lot of sense to me.

I'm not saying it's an excuse either. Just that maybe there is enough to it to think more about why it happens, and about what could be done about it. Sexual abuse is a vicious cycle, and it really doesn't do any good in my opinion to argue over whether the chicken or the egg comes first. The real question that needs to be answered is how to stop the vicious cycle.

I know this is totally unrelated to the thread, but I think I can answer "which comes 1st". I'd say the egg b/c the egg of the T-rex descendent that produced the first baby chicken would have come b4 the first chicken.

But when it comes to this thread I'm wondering if maybe their should be a specialized health class for aspies/auties in the school systems for sexual health & behaviors away from their NT counterparts? Maybe that would help prevent AS sexual abuse/stalking etc. issues?

Nooo, that would stamp aspies/auties as sexual misfits and lead to more bullying!

Females with developmental disorders can stalk too.....

I had to take out a protection order against a NPD/BPD female, and now 3 years later she has just been charged by police with criminal harassment over another boyfriend.

I have no interest in that particular activity.

I'd have to agree with that, not to mention I don't think we can expect special classes just for Aspies. I think the answer is for parents of Aspies to become more aware.

i personally feel like i often objectify women, usually i will walk down the street and see attractive women and I can't help but think about wanting them. I know most men do this but i think i perhaps do it a bit more than some. I have never sexually harrased a girl, quite the opposite, i am always checking if things are ok even when i was in a relationship with my ex. some girls don't seem to like this over curtious behaviour and i can kind of understand why. I feel that i am like that because i am almost trying to restrain myself because sexual harrasment is just not on. I sometimes feel like if i were really drunk i would. it scares me. I have control over myself but i feel if i were to lose my judgement i could hurt someone i don't think i will ever get into a situation like that because i recognise it is a risk so i am extra careful.

The only reason i can see that aspie men would be more likely is due to a lack of TOM and an inability to judge or care what the women wants.

Only yesterday I was reading the second news article this week concerning the arrests in New Jersey of young and middle aged men who are being charged with sexual contact with children. In both cases (and various other cases in the last few months) the lawyers for the accused presented the defense that their clients have Aspergers Syndrome. I am disturbed by the possible link that might be made by those unfamliar with Aspergers or autism that that those with Aspergers might be a sexual threat to children.