Asperger Traits in Women
I wrote a blog today after reading a list last week of Asperger Traits in Women. My blog about it and the list is here: Aspergers Traits in Women... and Me!
What is everyone else like? I'd be very interested to get some feedback either on my blog or in here. Until I read this list and talked to my therapist about it, I didnt realise how much of an Aspie I am. I'm much more like a male Aspie I think.
I read your blog.
I have a lot of those female Aspie traits too, and I'm a guy
Certainly looks like you're one of us, so pull up a chair.
As for your interest in turtles -
Water turtles stink REAL fast. Land tortoises not so much.
If you like your cats, consider something like a chinchilla - they aren't somethin that always stands around for a lot of petting, but rather explores the room like a pingpong ball.. and they have an interesting spicey smell sometimes too (I have far too many of them myself ).
Edit: oops. Jsut realized what forum this post is in. My bad ladies, I appologize.
(I just followed a link from teh main page! I swear!)
I really don't understand that chart. Highly intelligent? May be diagnosed as a kid? Sensory issues? Happiest at home? How is this in anyway universal or differential from male Asperger's?
I still think that there isn't any difference between the two, only societies expectations differing between the genders.
conundrum
Veteran
Joined: 25 May 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,922
Location: third rock from one of many suns
I found that chart a month or so ago and yep, nearly all of them (except maybe two or three) fit me to a T.
_________________
The existence of the leader who is wise
is barely known to those he leads.
He acts without unnecessary speech,
so that the people say,
'It happened of its own accord.' -Tao Te Ching, Verse 17
Appearance/Personal Habits:
Dresses comfortably due to sensory issues and practicality - Check. I totally do. But also because clothing is too distinctly gendered, and I have trouble identifying with a single gender a lot of the time, so I just go with what is affordable, practical, and comfortable which fits my other sensibilities, when in actuality, I should really be making a statement going all Visual Kei or something. But then people would just think I was emo. Rrr. And yeah, sensitivity is a huge issue - I cut off all the tags in my clothes, they itch, etc. I hate clothes!
Will not spend much time on grooming and hair. Hairstyles usually have to be 'wash and wear'. Can be quite happy not grooming at all at times. -Pretty true, though I do like dying my hair and styling it punkish ways an awful lot, and I can spend a few hours happily doing that. I just don't want to do anything which requires a daily effort of more than 5 minutes. It should be *brush!* and the end.
Eccentric personality; may be reflected in appearance. - Well, YEAH! Duh. All my friggin' life, people have gone out of their way to inform me how very odd I was.
Is youthful for her age, in looks, dress, behavior and tastes. - Hmm... Yes and no. I have a very wise-beyond-my-years, 80-year-old-trapped-in-a-near-20-year-old's-body type thing going on, and then I have a Peter Pan-ish "I WON'T grow up!" thing, too. Like, I always have friends who are all sorts of age ranges younger, so I can play with their cool toys, keep up with what the "kids are listening to these days", and all that jazz.
Usually a little more expressive in face and gesture than male counterparts. - No friggin' clue. People think I'm very expressive, but they usually incorrectly guess my emotions, thoughts, etc. So maybe I'm expressive, but my expressions don't accurately reflect what's actually going on? Meh. Well, there is the moron factor... yeah, I'm not sure here.
May have many androgynous traits despite an outwardly feminine appearance. Thinks of herself as half-male/half-female. - Yeah, I'm androgyne (I'll take pangender, agender, genderqueer, postgender... really anything will do, though. Think of me however you like). I try not to be outwardly offensively "butch", "masculine", or "androgyne" by Southern standards, FOR THE CHILDREN (nah, really I just don't want to be responsible for the spontaneous explosion of small minds).
May not have a strong sense of identity, and can be very chameleon-like, especially before diagnosis. - Bah humbug! I have a totally strong sense of identity! I don't really do compartmentalization well, so I don't really have different personalities which turn on in different situations. What I have is a bunch of personalities integrated with each other to form my overall whole "self" - and together, we can handle pretty much anything.
Enjoys reading and films as a retreat, often sci-fi, fantasy, children's, can have favourites which are a refuge. - Oh yeah. Definitely. Sci-fi/fantasy/horror have been my thang my whole life. Granted, I was born into a geek family, too. I also get REALLY INTO children's movies. I start to get all, "GASP!" when the villain(ess? ) appears and stuff. It's quite funny.
Uses control as a stress management technique: rules, discipline, rigid in certain habits, which will contradict her seeming unconventionality. - YES. I actually ate the same exact lunch every day for 3 or more years growing up. Also, if you look at me in home videos, you will see that whenever I learn a "rule", I immediately try to enforce it among my peers. I've always been very disciplined, too.
Usually happiest at home or in other controlled environment. - #1 is my university, #2 is my bed in my room at home. I guess yes?
Intellectual/giftedness/education/vocation
May have been diagnosed as autistic or Asperger's when young, or may have been thought of as gifted, shy, sensitive etc. May also have had obvious or severe learning deficits. - I was identified as "gifted" and "shy" in elementary (primary) school, this is true. At 12 I was diagnosed with ADHD.
Often musical, artistic. - I dig music, but I'm not very good at it. I can work really hard and get pretty good at an instrument due to pure muscle memory. However, I have an amazing memory for song lyrics. I'm not very good at other arts, either, but I love them. Really the best I do is at creative writing, professional storytelling, maybe film/photography to some degree, and maybe acting/comedy.
May have a savant skill or strong talent(s). - I don't think so. I did catch onto writing really fast - once they taught me how to form the letters in Kindergarten, I just looked at books and put together myself how words and sentences worked, and I was already making up stories in my head, writing them out just sentence by sentence. I'm also really good at child/pet care type things; even if it's a problem child or animal, I just seem to be able to calm them down somehow.
May have a strong interest in computers, games, science, graphic design, inventing, things of a technological and visual nature. More verbal thinkers gravitate to writing, languages, cultural studies, psychology. - I've been especially interested in all those things, and am currently a double major in Anthropology and Psychology.
May be a self-taught reader, been hyperlexic as a child, and will possess a wide variety of other self-taught skills as well. - Ah, well, like I said before with the writing thing... I just really jumped ahead a lot in school, actually. And then when I started homeschooling, well, I got to do even more of that self-teaching thing.
May be highly educated but will have had to struggle with social aspects of college. May have one or many partial degrees. - Actually, I don't, really. I'm doing okay. Well, I did get into a relationship (my first) last semester which really screwed up my GPA.
Can be very passionate about a course of study or job, and then change direction or go completely cold on it very quickly. - All the time.
(Pass on the next one)
Highly intelligent, yet sometimes can be slow to comprehend due to sensory and cognitive processing issues. - YES.
Will not do well with verbal instruction - needs to write down or draw diagram. - Varies situationally. I don't do diagrams, though.
Will have obsessions but they are not as unusual as her male counterpart's (less likely to be a 'train-spotter'). - I don't know. My obsessions are usually academic, cultural, or they're a fixation on a particular person in my life.
Emotional/Physical
Emotionally immature and emotionally sensitive. - The opposite is true, but I've worked on this quite a bit.
Anxiety and fear and predominant emotions. - No, but I've worked on that, too. In certain situations, they come right back, though. It's very irritating.
More open to talking about feelings and emotional issues than males with AS. - How the hell should I know? I don't socialize with anyone else with AS, much less one who is male.
Strong sensory issues - sounds, sights, smells, touch and prone to overload. (Less likely to have taste/food texture issues as males). - YES. Absolutely. All of these. I encounter at least one instance of sensory overload probably every day.
Moody and prone to bouts of depression. May have been diagnosed as bipolar or manic depressive (common comorbids of autism/AS) while the AS diagnosis was missed. - I would say I was depressed for basically the first 18, 19 years of my life, but I recently got truly, chemically and temperamentally better.
Probably given several different prescriptions to treat symptoms. Will be very sensitive to medications and anything else she puts in her body so may have had adverse reactions. - I have Strattera for ADHD/depression, and generic Celexa for anxiety.
9 out of 10 have mild to severe Gastro-intestinal difficulties - e.g. ulcers, acid reflux, IBS etc. - I do often experience acid reflux, made worse by my medications.
Stims to sooth when sad or agitated: rocking, face-rubbing, humming, finger flicking, leg bouncing, finger or foot tapping, etc - I do a LOT of leg bouncing.
Similarly physical when happy: hand flapping, clapping, singing, jumping, running around, dancing, bouncing. - I totally do that kind of crap.
Prone to temper or crying meltdowns, even in public, sometimes over seemingly small things due to sensory or emotional overload. - Yeah, I can do this. I didn't know that was an Aspy thing.
Hates injustice and hates to be misunderstood; this can incite anger and rage. - Well, I'm used to being misunderstood, though it is frustrating. Injustice? Yes. Absolutely.
Prone to mutism when stressed or upset, esp. after a meltdown. Less likely to stutter than male counterparts but may have raspy voice, monotone at times, when stressed or sad. - I find I do go "mute" for a while sometimes when I'm very stressed out, sure. I only went monotone when I was going through puberty - I was like Daria. Raspy? No.
Social/Relationships
Words and actions are often misunderstood by others. - Sometimes. It's something I've worked on quite a bit over the years.
Perceived to be cold-natured or self-centred; unfriendly. - When I was younger, yes, so I corrected that behavior.
Is very outspoken at times, may get very fired up when talking about passions/obsessive interests. - Hell's yeah, and I'm proud of it!
Can be very shy or mute. - Went through more than one phase during childhood of being very shy, very quiet. Not so much these days.
Like her male counterpart, will shut down in social situations once overloaded, but is generally better at sociliasing in small doses. May even give the appearance of skilled, but it is a 'performance'. - Yes, and I'm gaining more stamina for socialization all the time.
Doesn't go out much. Will prefer to go out with partner only or children if she has them. - I have phases where I'm like this, and phases where I am very social and always out doing something. The social phases are getting longer and the "stay home" phases are getting shorter all the time.
Will not have many girlfriends and will not do 'girly' things like shopping with them or have get-togethers to 'hang out'. - Shopping is pukey. But I do love having female friends in my life. I do tend to have more interests in common with guys, though.
Will have a close friend or friends in school, but not once adulthood is reached. - How'd you know that? Yes.
May or may not want to have a relationship. If she is in a relationship, she probably takes it very seriously but she may choose to remain celibate or alone. - I do take relationships very seriously when I'm in them, but I'm not sure if I want to be in one right now, because there's just so much crap and so little freedom - all that for companionship and sex? Please, I have internet forums and my right hand, so I'm good.
Due to sensory issues, will either really enjoy sex or strongly dislike it. - I do encounter some intimacy issues... I'm good at giving, I got that, I dig that, but I'm very sensitive myself in the genital area, so it's hard for me to deal with more than tongue... But I also have some post-traumatic stress probably factoring into this.
I don't usually like males (sometimes somewhat I do) and in fact always prefer females, so I'll pass on the next one.
Often prefers the company of animals but not always due to sensory issues. - I have a strong bond with animals/pets.
Appearance/Personal Habits:
Dresses comfortably due to sensory issues and practicality
Yes, but I do it because it's comfy and because I feel comfy in it, not really due to practicality and clothes usually doesn't trigger sensory issues these days. It was a huge problem when I was a kid, but either clothes have gotten better or I'm less sensitive. Big T-shirts or pullovers and sweatpants, add sneakers for outdoors.
Will not spend much time on grooming and hair. Hairstyles usually have to be 'wash and wear'. Can be quite happy not grooming at all at times. Definitely. I haven't brushed my hair since jr high, and I haven't brushed it refgularly since my mother stopped nagging about it in elementary school. The only thing I'm fussy about is keping it short.
Eccentric personality; may be reflected in appearance. Check.
Is youthful for her age, in looks, dress, behavior and tastes. Yes, in lots of ways, but I think I simply was born with the mindset of (an atypical) late teen or early twenties person. I can be wise, I can be childish, most of the time I am just me, and always have been. I have changed significantly less than others I know. As a kid I was thought of as precoscious but this stopped in my mid teens and at times I have been told the opposite. Since age 11-13 I have read adult books (like Dean Koontz) yet I have never stopped reading books for YA or teens. At 33 i still enjoy them (the good ones of course, not simply because they're YA).
Usually a little more expressive in face and gesture than male counterparts. I have certainly been told that I express anger and dislike just fine! Other than that I have no idea.
May have many androgynous traits despite an outwardly feminine appearance. Thinks of herself as half-male/half-female.
Yeah, I've always identified as a tomboy, but theolder I get the more problems I have with accepting the "boys do this, girls do this" attitude, so now I go for genderbender and proud of it. I also have male traits like being more hairy than most females despite having big breasts. I like camo clothes and use them whenever I like. Anyone have a problem with that can bleep my bleep.
May not have a strong sense of identity, and can be very chameleon-like, especially before diagnosis.
No, quite the contrary, my sense of self has always been very strong. I'm no chameleon at all. I've never mimicked anyone either, as females aspies are supposed to do or have done.
Enjoys reading and films as a retreat, often sci-fi, fantasy, children's, can have favourites which are a refuge.
Yes, but I love horror even more than sci-fi and fantasy. These 3 are basically what I read/watch, with the occasional thriller and action in between. While I can rewatch a movie, I very seldom reread books nowadays. I did it all the time upto age 12-13, but ever since I haven't. Don't know why. As a kid there were a few books I'd reread time and again and a few movies I'd watch nonstop. As I have mentioned earlier I still read teen books, but hardly childrens' books (the occasional exception for old childhood faves once in ablue moon).
Uses control as a stress management technique: rules, discipline, rigid in certain habits, which will contradict her seeming unconventionality. IDK, I can be rigid but is that the reason? No idea.
Usually happiest at home or in other controlled environment. Yes, my entire life I have pretty much been forced whenever I leave home. Not much of an exaggeration.
Intellectual/giftedness/education/vocation
May have been diagnosed as autistic or Asperger's when young, or may have been thought of as gifted, shy, sensitive etc. May also have had obvious or severe learning deficits.
No childhood dx of autism. Was sent to kiddie shrink in elementary school, got no dx then. Especially my grandmother believed me to be shy while the truth was that I didn't speak because I had nothing to say and/or no need to convey my thoughts in words. Enormous learning problems in maths, physics and chemistry.
Often musical, artistic.
No. I like music and play a little keyboard for fun, but I can't play a lot and I don't even know how to read notes. I can play it because I translate notes to a kiddie system I had for a small electronic piano I once had. I can't sing at all. I can't paint or draw. I have enjoyed writing at times, and been told by teachers, family and classmates and even my shrink that I'm good at it but I fail to see it and I'm only interested when I'm interested in the topic. I also only get good grades when I'm interested.
May have a savant skill or strong talent(s).
Not to my knowledge.
May have a strong interest in computers, games, science, graphic design, inventing, things of a technological and visual nature. More verbal thinkers gravitate to writing, languages, cultural studies, psychology.
Games, yes. Video, board or card. I lhave always liked planes, boats, cars and old trains, but I'm no grease monkey. I'm clumsy and unpractical.
May be a self-taught reader, been hyperlexic as a child, and will possess a wide variety of other self-taught skills as well.
No on the first two. I read about what interests me and remember, and that's as far as I'm self-taught
Oh! I'm self taught when it comes to caring for my pets and tending to their individual needs. I notice things abuot them that others don't see until I point them out to them, but sometimes there are things I fail to see, so I guess it evens out?
May be highly educated but will have had to struggle with social aspects of college. May have one or many partial degrees.
I've always been asocial, so my main problem there is to be left alone. As for highly educated, I've quit high school three times and never finished. Besides that I have a one-year course. So no.
Can be very passionate about a course of study or job, and then change direction or go completely cold on it very quickly.
Cough, quit high school three times. Although things like grief over a death and learning problems "helped" me to eff it up. Add to that I ve hated school since first grade and never enjoyed goping to one (with a partial exception for the one year course). Never had any job but can't imagine it'd be different.
Will often have trouble holding onto a job and may find employment daunting. Never had one.
Highly intelligent, yet sometimes can be slow to comprehend due to sensory and cognitive processing issues.
Highly intelligent? I have no idea. Yes to the second part.
Will not do well with verbal instruction - needs to write down or draw diagram.
Varies. but often yes, I need it in writing so I can check myself. No diagrams.
Will have obsessions but they are not as unusual as her male counterpart's (less likely to be a 'train-spotter').
Nope, I have the typical male obsessions with games, transports and dinos. Only female interest I have is my love for animals. have periodical obsessions with ghost stories, and other paranormal issues. Pokemon.
Emotional/Physical
Emotionally immature and emotionally sensitive.
IDK, Not even sure what they really mean here. Feelings? Reactions? I had more advanced feelings than I was supposed to as a little kid (according to the "experts"). Reactions, all over the scale, I assume.
Anxiety and fear and predominant emotions.
A lot of anxiety and fear, but they're not so predominant that the love i feel for family and pets comes in on second place. But yeah, my amygdala can often over react.
More open to talking about feelings and emotional issues than males with AS.
No idea but for the most part I find it very hard to talk about emotions. Well, anger and joy are easy, but things like betrayal and grief are hard, and love and vulnerability near impossible. I think I've only told my mother and grandfather once that I love them and both times I was in an emotional mess so it burst out of me without planning on it. Never told anyone else, like father/grandmother.
Strong sensory issues - sounds, sights, smells, touch and prone to overload. (Less likely to have taste/food texture issues as males).
Some sounds and bright light trouble me, but textures are a problem, too, and my food issues are by far worse.
Moody and prone to bouts of depression. May have been diagnosed as bipolar or manic depressive (common comorbids of autism/AS) while the AS diagnosis was missed.
No such dx, not prone to depressions, but can be moody.
Probably given several different prescriptions to treat symptoms. Will be very sensitive to medications and anything else she puts in her body so may have had adverse reactions.
I'm only on asthma meds and have never been on psych drugs. Am not hypered by caffeine.
9 out of 10 have mild to severe Gastro-intestinal difficulties - e.g. ulcers, acid reflux, IBS etc.
definitely yes to the last 2.
Stims to sooth when sad or agitated: rocking, face-rubbing, humming, finger flicking, leg bouncing, finger or foot tapping, etc
Yes but no humming. And they forgot to add when angry.
]Similarly physical when happy: hand flapping, clapping, singing, jumping, running around, dancing, bouncing.[/i]
Not singing or jumping or dancing.
Prone to temper or crying meltdowns, even in public, sometimes over seemingly small things due to sensory or emotional overload.
It can happen.
Hates injustice and hates to be misunderstood; this can incite anger and rage.
Definite yes on the latter; the former only incites anger and rage if animals are the victims or if it affects my family or me directly.
Prone to mutism when stressed or upset, esp. after a meltdown. Less likely to stutter than male counterparts but may have raspy voice, monotone at times, when stressed or sad.
Mute a lot, but while it can be due to anger or stress, it's usually simply my default setting. I have little need for putting my thiughts into words, I'm very content keeping them to myselves. Stress or eagerness can make me stutter. Have since my teen years but not before that. Maybe because I hardly ever said anything in my first 12-15 years without thinking about the phrasing first. Sometimes when I talk I feel like I'm free falling. No idea what I sound like when sad, but I've never been told that I sound monotonous. My voice is dark for a girl.
Social/Relationships
Words and actions are often misunderstood by others.
YES! And jokes and play is taken serious while they laugh at what I really mean, thinking I'm kidding or being flippant.
Perceived to be cold-natured or self-centred; unfriendly.
IDK, but I can be all of those.
Is very outspoken at times, may get very fired up when talking about passions/obsessive interests.
Can yes, but I'd much rather be at home doing my interests.
Can be very shy or mute.
Not shy but naturally quiet.
Like her male counterpart, will shut down in social situations once overloaded, but is generally better at sociliasing in small doses. May even give the appearance of skilled, but it is a 'performance'.
Yes to shutdown and get overloaded quick. I'm not good at socialising and I have never taken the slightest interest in it. People have never interested me.
Doesn't go out much. Will prefer to go out with partner only or children if she has them.
Yes always. No partner or kids, but parents (+ grandparents + pets when these were alive)
Will not have many girlfriends and will not do 'girly' things like shopping with them or have get-togethers to 'hang out'.
Never had any, never looked for any. Some seemed to genuinely like me in jr high, but they didn't mean anything to me and I never missed being with them. Shopping? most shop are yawns. But I can spend hours looking at interesting books/DVDs/video games.
Will have a close friend or friends in school, but not once adulthood is reached.
No, none human friends, not now nor in childhood. An occasional playmate but again, I never missed them when I wasn't with them. I never longed for them but I often longed to get home to my books!
May or may not want to have a relationship. If she is in a relationship, she probably takes it very seriously but she may choose to remain celibate or alone.
No interest, asexual and aromantic.
Due to sensory issues, will either really enjoy sex or strongly dislike it.
Asexual, have never tried, probably never will.
If she likes a male, she can be extremely, noticeably awkward in her attempt to let him know, e.g. she may stare when she sees him or call him repeatedly. This is because she fixates and doesn’t understand societal gender roles. This will change with maturity. I haven't been in love since I was 14-17, but I was definitely a starer back then, but I didn't call him. Well sometimes I called and hung up after hearing his voice. Never talked to him on the phone. But I sometimes tried to talk to him IRL, after having found something to say. I spent a lot of time coming up with something intelligent to say/ask him. As for the "societal gender roles" - bleeeep my bleeeeeeeeeeping bleeep! Did the 70's never happen? BS! Go for ti girls if you wanna and bleeeep societal medival expectations. I'm as adamant on that as I was as a kid!
Often prefers the company of animals but not always due to sensory issues. - I have a strong bond with animals/pets.[/quote]
Yes, always have. The interest I have never taken in people I have always taken in animals. Even as a toddler.
_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy
Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765
Last edited by Skilpadde on 04 Sep 2010, 5:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Water turtles stink REAL fast. Land tortoises not so much.
Only if you're not good at shofting their water, removing their food and shifting the pebble at the bottom. Feeding them in a separate container (like a plastic box with water) helps too.
_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy
Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765
Claire_Louise
Blue Jay
Joined: 30 Aug 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 99
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
when I read this list, I was nearly crying.
It just sums me up completely.
I am a self-diagnosed aspie, and often feel alone and isolated, as if no-one understands me.
But this list is absolutely about me.
Particularly, I have IBS, I'm musical, I have routines that I follow to deal with stress and anxiety, I fidget to deal with stress, anxiety, etc, I'm gifted, I dress comfortably, I have stong interests in programming and psycology, I have about a 64 month cycle of career options that I will "definitely" have, and suddenly change, I can't take verbal instruction, I have meltdowns in public, and can't stop crying, even when nothing's wrong, it could be a subconscious thought that, "hey, my teacher went home early because she was sick. We have a relief teacher, and instead of doing english, we're doing drama!! !" *can't stop crying, major breakdown in front of class*...
I also have sensory issues - which many people notice have gone on since I was several months old.
And, of course, the eccentric personality, dancing around when happy, emotionally immature, doesn't care much about grooming, no sense of identity, happiest in controlled environment.
Appearance/Personal Habits:
Dresses comfortably due to sensory issues and practicality
I dress comfy at home, I do however have sensory issues with certain materials. I cannot wear anything that scratches my skin.
Eccentric personality; may be reflected in appearance.
I do have an eccentric personality, yet that doesn't appear in my clothes. I'm more the classy, stylish type.
Is youthful for her age, in looks, dress, behavior and tastes.
I've been told that I look very young, however, I am not a fashion victim, I am quite picky when it comes to clothes, they need to comfy, match with my other clothes and look pretty.
May have many androgynous traits despite an outwardly feminine appearance. Thinks of herself as half-male/half-female.
Personality-wise, I've been often told that I have some kind of gender-flipping and I do think I have both traits in me. And I do dress feminine.
May not have a strong sense of identity, and can be very chameleon-like, especially before diagnosis.
I like dressing up in different type of clothes and I would not let a diagnosis spoil my fun on this.
Enjoys reading and films as a retreat, often sci-fi, fantasy, children's, can have favourites which are a refuge.
I love fantasy stuff, and I also love fairy tales... Sci-fi only if a the hero is a female.
Uses control as a stress management technique: rules, discipline, rigid in certain habits, which will contradict her seeming unconventionality.
Definitely yes.
Usually happiest at home or in other controlled environment.
Also definitely yes.
Intellectual/giftedness/education/vocation
May have been diagnosed as autistic or Asperger's when young, or may have been thought of as gifted, shy, sensitive etc. May also have had obvious or severe learning deficits.
I was rather thought of as shy, gifted and sensitive. I've also always had problems with maths, no idea why.
Often musical, artistic.
I am artistic, I have been drawing since I was a kid, and I still enjoy it very much. When it comes to music, I have a very good ear combined with synaesthesia. I've been told to have a quite good singing voice, but I'm not convinced about that one.
May have a savant skill or strong talent(s).
As mentioned above, drawing is one of them, languages is another.
May have a strong interest in computers, games, science, graphic design, inventing, things of a technological and visual nature. More verbal thinkers gravitate to writing, languages, cultural studies, psychology.
I love computers, I've been always into technical stuff. I studied psychology, but then switched to graphic design.
May be a self-taught reader, been hyperlexic as a child, and will possess a wide variety of other self-taught skills as well.
Yes, I always was a self-taught, and I keep on learning.
May be highly educated but will have had to struggle with social aspects of college. May have one or many partial degrees.
Yes, social aspects of school were not easy for me. I haven't had many contacts despite of maybe 3 people during my entire studies. Normally, I shut down completely and did my own thing.
Can be very passionate about a course of study or job, and then change direction or go completely cold on it very quickly.
I do try out different paths, but I'm loyal to my passions still.
Will often have trouble holding onto a job and may find employment daunting..
I only have trouble to hold on to it when it's boring. Employment is daunting b/c of the fact that I am watched...
Highly intelligent, yet sometimes can be slow to comprehend due to sensory and cognitive processing issues.
Yes...
Will not do well with verbal instruction - needs to write down or draw diagram.
Verbal works better for me than diagrams.
Will have obsessions but they are not as unusual as her male counterpart's (less likely to be a 'train-spotter').
Well, my "computer-obsession" is usually liked to males, so..
Emotional/Physical
Emotionally immature and emotionally sensitive.
Emotionally immature, yes and no. I constantly learn from the past, however, I am emotionally sensitive.
Anxiety and fear and predominant emotions.
Yes, especially of unexpected or unpredictable situations in any aspect of my life.
More open to talking about feelings and emotional issues than males with AS.
Generally yes, but only if I'm able to phrase my feelings and emotions. Sometimes I'm just stuck and cannot find words for them.
Strong sensory issues - sounds, sights, smells, touch and prone to overload. (Less likely to have taste/food texture issues as males).
Yes, I do have sensory issues, as far as sounds go, I also see colors and shapes, which can be overwhelming at times. My body is also very, very sensitive to touch which it hard for me to be physically close to someone at times.
Moody and prone to bouts of depression. May have been diagnosed as bipolar or manic depressive (common comorbids of autism/AS) while the AS diagnosis was missed.
I am moody, yes, I also have depressive periods, but they all never lasted long enough to be diagnosed.
Probably given several different prescriptions to treat symptoms. Will be very sensitive to medications and anything else she puts in her body so may have had adverse reactions.
I have to say that I hate medicine and I try to avoid it as much as I can. I'd take them only if there's no way out.
9 out of 10 have mild to severe Gastro-intestinal difficulties - e.g. ulcers, acid reflux, IBS etc.
Thankfully, I have none of these issues.
Stims to sooth when sad or agitated: rocking, face-rubbing, humming, finger flicking, leg bouncing, finger or foot tapping, etc.
I do the face rubbing and finger flicking thing, especially when tired or stressed in any way.
Similarly physical when happy: hand flapping, clapping, singing, jumping, running around, dancing, bouncing.
I would like to jump or dance around of joy, but I control myself as I figured it's not very poplar to do so among others.
Prone to temper or crying meltdowns, even in public, sometimes over seemingly small things due to sensory or emotional overload.
Yes, that happens to me, I cry when I'm emotionally overwhelmed, angry or sad. I try hard to control myself not to cry in public, but it doesn't always work...
Hates injustice and hates to be misunderstood; this can incite anger and rage.
Prone to mutism when stressed or upset, esp. after a meltdown. Less likely to stutter than male counterparts but may have raspy voice, monotone at times, when stressed or sad..
Yes, that definitely applies to me.
Social/Relationships
Words and actions are often misunderstood by others.
Oh yeah...
Perceived to be cold-natured or self-centred; unfriendly.
That too! Especially since I would not talk to anyone during my studies, only a few selected, if any at all.
Is very outspoken at times, may get very fired up when talking about passions/obsessive interests.
Yeah, I get very passionate about my favorite subjects, but I usually control myself not to talk too much about it b/c I fear I bore the hell out of people.
Can be very shy or mute.
Definitely yes.
Like her male counterpart, will shut down in social situations once overloaded, but is generally better at sociliasing in small doses. May even give the appearance of skilled, but it is a 'performance'.
Yes, I do shutdown when things become too complicated, later on I sit back and think about it, separating it in smaller pieces. But I do not brag about things I have no clue about, I rather keep my mouth shut or learn about the subject in advance.
Doesn't go out much. Will prefer to go out with partner only or children if she has them.
I'd go out with some selected friends and/or partner (I don't want to have kids).
Will not have many girlfriends and will not do 'girly' things like shopping with them or have get-togethers to 'hang out'.
I don't like shopping, I only go if I really need something. I hate spending hours in the shops not buying anything, running around the whole day and end up with one bag in the end. I also can't enjoy those get-together's, they are boring as hell to me, as the most common topic are fashion and/or men.
Will have a close friend or friends in school, but not once adulthood is reached.
No, I still have very few closed friends.
May or may not want to have a relationship. If she is in a relationship, she probably takes it very seriously but she may choose to remain celibate or alone.
If I'm not in a relationship, I do not search for anyone and am very good on my own. If I am in a relationship, I take it seriously, but I need to have my space and not to be pushed or pressured.
Due to sensory issues, will either really enjoy sex or strongly dislike it.
It has always been some kind of a problem for my partners b/c I am extremely sensitive to touch. I also have times where I do not like to be touched at all, which makes them think I don't feel for them anymore. That is not the case, but it's hard to make it clear to them.
If she likes a male, she can be extremely, noticeably awkward in her attempt to let him know, e.g. she may stare when she sees him or call him repeatedly. This is because she fixates and doesn’t understand societal gender roles.
I need to skip this b/c I'm a lesbian... And I do not stalk anyone either. I'm not into this whole gender-role thing either, I just take the best from both worlds.
Often prefers the company of animals but not always due to sensory issues. - I have a strong bond with animals/pets.
I have a strong bond with animals, they are more direct and communicate clearly, unlike humans between the lines. They are also more honest in their own way than many people. But that doesn't mean that all people are bad, there are good people, it's only hard to find them.
_________________
"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." (Socrates)
Claire_Louise
Blue Jay
Joined: 30 Aug 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 99
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
I found my safe place here on Wrong Planet too, and I am also self-diagnosed.
Thanks
It would be interesting to see how many self-dXed people actually end up with a diagnosis.
I don't think that many would, because they can learn to blend in well.
Appearance/Personal Habits:
Dresses comfortably due to sensory issues and practicality
Mainly wear jeans and hoodies...very rarely dresses or skirts (only for work stuff when I absolutely have to).
Eccentric personality; may be reflected in appearance.
Lol, most of my clothes are rainbow colours!
Is youthful for her age, in looks, dress, behavior and tastes.
Yep, I'm 23 but most people who meet me think I'm about 15 , even the children at the school I work in, and often the parents ask me why I'm there.
May have many androgynous traits despite an outwardly feminine appearance. Thinks of herself as half-male/half-female.
I prefer jeans and hoodies, and don't wear make-up or any 'girly' clothes.
May not have a strong sense of identity, and can be very chameleon-like, especially before diagnosis.
I wrote my undergrad dissertation about why I don't think intrinsic identity exists, using Andersen's fairy tales to back up my argument.
Enjoys reading and films as a retreat, often sci-fi, fantasy, children's, can have favourites which are a refuge.
I love fairy tales, especially Andersen, and am obsessed with the world of Harry Potter. When I was growing up, I used to pretend I was at Hogwarts.
Uses control as a stress management technique: rules, discipline, rigid in certain habits, which will contradict her seeming unconventionality.
Way too much, can't cope without routine.
Usually happiest at home or in other controlled environment.
That's why I work in a school...
Intellectual/giftedness/education/vocation
I have a very good visual memory and can memorize parts of books really easily.
May have been diagnosed as autistic or Asperger's when young, or may have been thought of as gifted, shy, sensitive etc. May also have had obvious or severe learning deficits.
Not as a child, I used to go to the library all the time at school so it wasn't picked up on. It was first recognized as a possibility when I was 22.
Often musical, artistic.
Not really although would love to be. I love art but can't draw at all, like collages though.
May have a savant skill or strong talent(s).
Languages and logic problems.
May have a strong interest in computers, games, science, graphic design, inventing, things of a technological and visual nature. More verbal thinkers gravitate to writing, languages, cultural studies, psychology.
Again, languages. I also spend far too much time doing Sudoku and Minesweeper.
May be a self-taught reader, been hyperlexic as a child, and will possess a wide variety of other self-taught skills as well.
I never go anywhere without a book and was always being told off for reading in class.
May be highly educated but will have had to struggle with social aspects of college. May have one or many partial degrees.
I hated the social side of school, and all my friends were at least 3 years younger than me.
Can be very passionate about a course of study or job, and then change direction or go completely cold on it very quickly.
I have always worked in schools and don't think I could do anything else. I hate the summer holidays.
Will often have trouble holding onto a job and may find employment daunting..
Not really; I love my job.
Highly intelligent, yet sometimes can be slow to comprehend due to sensory and cognitive processing issues.
Yes...sometimes I only realize something too late.
Will not do well with verbal instruction - needs to write down or draw diagram.
I have to write everything down in lectures or it doesn't go in.
Will have obsessions but they are not as unusual as her male counterpart's (less likely to be a 'train-spotter').
Definitely...Andersen's fairy tales, languages, F1.
Emotional/Physical
Emotionally immature and emotionally sensitive.
I am a bit immature and get upset when it seems like someone's annoyed with me and I don't know why,
Anxiety and fear and predominant emotions.
Yep, I always feels nervous and guilty.
More open to talking about feelings and emotional issues than males with AS.
Not really, I don't like talking about emotions much.
Strong sensory issues - sounds, sights, smells, touch and prone to overload. (Less likely to have taste/food texture issues as males).
I have very sensitive hearing.
Moody and prone to bouts of depression. May have been diagnosed as bipolar or manic depressive (common comorbids of autism/AS) while the AS diagnosis was missed.
Not so much.
Probably given several different prescriptions to treat symptoms. Will be very sensitive to medications and anything else she puts in her body so may have had adverse reactions.
I avoid medication when I can.
9 out of 10 have mild to severe Gastro-intestinal difficulties - e.g. ulcers, acid reflux, IBS etc.
I am wheat and dairy intolerant.
Stims to sooth when sad or agitated: rocking, face-rubbing, humming, finger flicking, leg bouncing, finger or foot tapping, etc.
I pinch myself hard or bite my finger.
Similarly physical when happy: hand flapping, clapping, singing, jumping, running around, dancing, bouncing.
I jump up and down when there's no-one around, or grin really widely.
Prone to temper or crying meltdowns, even in public, sometimes over seemingly small things due to sensory or emotional overload.
Yes and I hate them! (as does my mum...)
Hates injustice and hates to be misunderstood; this can incite anger and rage.
Yep, but I don't usually express it.
Prone to mutism when stressed or upset, esp. after a meltdown. Less likely to stutter than male counterparts but may have raspy voice, monotone at times, when stressed or sad..
I hate it when my throat 'closes' and I can't speak especially in class.
Social/Relationships
Words and actions are often misunderstood by others.
Too much .
Perceived to be cold-natured or self-centred; unfriendly.
My mum says I come across as unfriendly and antisocial.
Is very outspoken at times, may get very fired up when talking about passions/obsessive interests.
Yeah, I can bore people without meaning to sometimes!
Can be very shy or mute.
Definitely yes.
Like her male counterpart, will shut down in social situations once overloaded, but is generally better at sociliasing in small doses. May even give the appearance of skilled, but it is a 'performance'.
I'm OK one to one with people, but I get stressed in a group and tend to close up.
Doesn't go out much. Will prefer to go out with partner only or children if she has them.
I hardly ever go out; if I do it's with people I know really well.
Will not have many girlfriends and will not do 'girly' things like shopping with them or have get-togethers to 'hang out'.
I don't like shopping- if I need something, I'll get it on my own.
Will have a close friend or friends in school, but not once adulthood is reached.
I have closer friends now I'm an adult; people seem to accept me more.
May or may not want to have a relationship. If she is in a relationship, she probably takes it very seriously but she may choose to remain celibate or alone.
I have never had a relationship or any sexual feelings.
Due to sensory issues, will either really enjoy sex or strongly dislike it.
Same as above!
If she likes a male, she can be extremely, noticeably awkward in her attempt to let him know, e.g. she may stare when she sees him or call him repeatedly. This is because she fixates and doesn’t understand societal gender roles.
I do tend to fixate on people, but not in a sexual way. When I was at school, I was fixated with one particular teacher, and she got really annoyed with me, which was really hurtful.
Often prefers the company of animals but not always due to sensory issues.
I am closer to my cat than anyone else.
I'm not officially diagnosed as AS, but it was brought up as a 'strong possibility' when I was seeing someone for something else. I don't think I'm going to pursue a diagnosis because, for me, recognizing it helped me to feel less 'weird' and I don't want to have to mention it on job forms in case people misunderstand. I'm good at 'masking' the traits and avoiding situations that might make them worse, so I don't know how helpful an official diagnosis would be.
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