Just a little AS?

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Hi, is it possible to have a little bit of AS? I always felt different and a have big problems with social situations and i also have a lot of the symptoms, like obsessing with stuff, i like to plan everything that i do, i like to organize some things very neatly, i avoid eye and body contact, etc.

But the thing is, i am reading a lot about it and the symptons usually appear in a lower scale than the standard. Like, i have problems with social situations, but when im around friends im totally relaxed. Also i obsesses (sp?) with stuff, but i dont think about it all the time. I can control it... i want to talk about it with everyone in every conversation, but i usually control it and dont say anything. The same happens with planning and organizing things. I like to do that, but I dont freak out if someone messes things. I get upset, but i dont get angry. Does this mean anything? Is it possible to have a little bit of AS or is it normal to learn how to handle stuff after you experience it a lot of times? Because 3 years ago i basically hated social situations, but then i got a girlfriend and i "learned" a lot of stuff, like looking people in the eyes, talking on the phone, etc. Im full of doubts, if someone can help me, thanks a lot

Yes. Most decidedly possible, I'm here to tell you. Welcome aboard.

yes, to be slightly AS is common after you have coped for a while. in coping you develop stratagies which enable you to deal with it and thus rid yourself of some of the problems. just be carefull of now that you know why had these problems them reimerging.... that is quite common.

anyway, Welcome to the site, wrongplanet is most definitly the place to be on the interweb

jammie

Definitely. It's called an "autistic spectrum" because it affects people at all different levels. Welcome!

Oh, definitely. I think I have a relatively mild form myself. In the past, I was bullied severely and had no friends between ages 10 and 16, had a series of obsessions about a single topic, and was extremely uncoordianted. Now, however, I can do a decent job dancing, enjoy socializing, and can make small talk when necessary. Obviously, some AS-related social interaction problems still persist, and my friends still joke about me being a train encyclopedia. (On a side note, I never initiate conversations about trains, just answer their questions when they ask me.) Since it was possible for me to learn some of the NT skills, I guess my AS was mild enough to let me socialize.

I think I am one of those with "a little bit" of AS. I have read stories here about people unable to do things like operate a washing machine or driving a car - not my case, fortunately. But I can certainly relate to the side of AS concerning eccentric hobbies, becoming a research/information junkie, having some persistent ticks, and general shyness and lack of social skills, specially those related to flirting and conquering women.

So I guess AS can show itself in multiple ways, and not all of them affect each of us equally.

Especially since the influences from oneself & from external factors isn't always clear, one doesn't know "did I get better ? ", or "did my life get better ? " first. Like, did I have improved attitude that led to happier life, or did happier life lead to my improved attitude.
Over time one gradually learns, some things are easier to pick up on or become familiar with than others. Supportive relationships in one's life (could be w/something other than a person, like pursuing an activity) can stimulate that acquisition of knowledge/skill, providing motivation and opportunity.
Personally-when I was a kid, since I had no dx, I was blamed for my oddness. That meant I felt bad about my perceptions, but I also had no lowered expectations due to dx label. Family was critical of my hypersensitivities but supportive of my narrow skills. As grownup, I have AS dx, and my functioning is "high" but does vary.
Without a partner who "understands" me, I'm alone too much & am miserable & closed up/shut down. When I've been in (good) primary relationships, the nurturing & interaction bring me closer to my positive potential. I like being part of a couple and find it greatly educational.

I'm one of those with AS for whom things have decidedly improved. From age eight to age fifteen I was reclusive and socially clueless but now my social skills are a whole lot better. My OCD tendencies have also substantially improved.

Part of the problem with women is that they can sense you think in terms of "conquering" them. Excuse me - we are NOT Iraq!

Heh heh. Yeah, bad choice of words... "conquering"... what was I thinking

(Just for the record, English is not my native language - although I am very fluent at it, sometimes a little blooper gets here and there. Case in point)

Okay, just substitute "conquering" with "seducing"...

This is gonna be long because you've hit the nail on the head with my life, but here goes...

I read this thread with interest because you two have described my life to a tee. Almost all the quirks I have ever had match the characteristics of AS perfectly, but compared to most people I read about with AS, they're milder in comparison and have not impaired me as much, so I, like you alvinho, am very much a "not sure if I have it or not." When I was a kid, I had all the symptoms. Hypersensitivity to certain sounds, complete social oblivion, extreme rigidity (fits when social, versus literal, rules were followed by the family, and repeated urgings by my parents to "be more flexible"), and of course--and most pronounced of the characteristics for me--the obsessive interests--they were the only things I talked about and the only things I really spent my Saturdays, in my room, alone, during middle and high school thinking and reading about--that is, when my parents weren't forcing me out to go to extracurricular activities I hated, didn't last too long in, and only went because they forced me to "just try it" ("just try" doesn't mean just try, it means be in it for a full year, hating every moment of it).

Like you Aspie1, I had nearly no friends from about the same ages, and was a "train encyclopedia"...actually, one of the few friends I did have was also a "train encyclopedia" in my middle and high school (unsure of diagnosis though). Things got MUCH better in late high school when I discovered organizations and programs within the railroad advocate and enthusiast communities that actually introduced me to people who also had expert knowledge on my interest. I still am referred to as a "train encyclopedia" by my friends (almost all of them made since that turning point in high school), but talk about other stuff--whatever the topic of the moment is--most of the time and only bring it up when asked, when it naturally comes up in conversation, or when talking to other friends who also are interested in same. I've really, REALLY come around socializing in college, and in fact am now in a fraternity at my school (and was in fact, elected to a leadership position within that fraternity last semester--which is really making me wonder whether my quirks could even be AS, since that's like the epitome of socialability in college). That said, there's still a lot I don't get socially--situational stuff, but knowing enough of my quirks match the profile of AS, I actually now have an idea of WHAT SPECIFIC THINGS I don't and won't get, and thus know the situations I should try to avoid, and what others I know I will be able to do better than others in, and am able to make decisions for my life (what jobs to apply for, activities on campus to sign up for, etc.) that allow me to capitalize on my strengths and minimize the situations where I am being strained by my weaknesses.

Thanks alvinho for bringing this up, and thanks Aspie1 for sharing your experiences...

Last edited by AS_Interlocking on 16 May 2006, 12:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have too mild of a version that they wouldnt even dx me with it but yeah even me and probably you should be dx with it even if they dont .

I think what helped me when i found out about AS was that i finally understood many things in my life. Before knowing about AS i just didnt understand why people made such a big deal about things like small talk, body language, etc. and i never tried to do it too, because i just felt it was useless. Now, knowing that people with AS have problems with those things, im more aware of what i should do in those situations. I know that im not good with body language, so now i try harder to perceive stuff like that, instead of just thinking "wtf, everybody is nuts, this doesnt make any sense". Its also helps in the way that AS_Interlocking said, now i try to avoid situations where i know i'll be in disadvantage. People always say that thre isnt a cure for AS, but i think that knowing about it and knowing your own limitations can be VERY helpfull and can totally change the way you see the world.