Why do many autistics try to go at an NT pace?

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Aspiezone
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08 Sep 2010, 12:53 pm

Why not go at an autistic pace? Our development is uneven. It makes sense we would do some things earlier and other things later. Going against your neurology is futile.

Mysty
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08 Sep 2010, 12:58 pm

I don't get what you mean by an NT pace and autistic pace. Pace of what?

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Aspiezone
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08 Sep 2010, 1:05 pm

Mysty wrote:

I don't get what you mean by an NT pace and autistic pace. Pace of what?

I mean developmental pace and reaching important milestones in education, career, relationships, ect. A child with uneven development might be ahead in math but behind in social skills. This child shouldn't be pressured into doing things ahead of or behind his or her pace.

conundrum
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08 Sep 2010, 2:09 pm

Aspiezone wrote:

Mysty wrote:

I don't get what you mean by an NT pace and autistic pace. Pace of what?

+100!

Sadly, the moment the child enters school, he or she is often FORCED to keep up with "the norm" in everything. Worse yet, being ahead in some stuff is also frowned upon. I whipped through the spelling book in second grade well in advance of everyone else, and the teacher did not *approve* one bit.

The philosophy is "conform or die." Hopefully, not forever.

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Amik
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08 Sep 2010, 2:35 pm

I think that's because autistic people grow up in a society that generally tries to force them to follow the NT pace. It is what is expected and what they are judged by. Society is constantly trying to make autistic people become more like NTs and follow NT standards and "norms". Society does not leave much room for autistic people to be autistic.

If we are ahead, they slow us down and make us wait for the others. If we are behind, they try to drag us ahead to follow up with the others even though we aren't ready. They think of our needs in terms of what they wish our needs were or think they should be rather than what they actually are.

thedaywalker
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08 Sep 2010, 2:42 pm

how is one suposed to catch up if one goes slower than the rest.

Raptor
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08 Sep 2010, 2:49 pm

Quote:

Why not go at an autistic pace? Our development is uneven. It makes sense we would do some things earlier and other things later. Going against your neurology is futile.

It's an NT world and will continue to be.
How does the saying go?
When in Rome....................

FJP
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08 Sep 2010, 2:49 pm

This is why I homeschool my son. So he can learn at a pace that is comfortable to him.

The world in general does not like it when you "drift too far from the herd", but it's even worse in the school system.
People are much easier to control if they fit in the standard "box".

The pressure to conform is huge and it comes from everywhere.

Dilbert
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08 Sep 2010, 2:54 pm

Because they have family pressure, and because they need money to pay bills. That requires them to integrate with the society: go to school, get a job, and do all those things everyone else does. And naturally they must find a way to fit at work or in school, or suffer the consequences of being fired or held back or expelled or whatever.

I personally would love to say 'screw it' to all of this, move to a tropical island, and spend my life as a beach bum. Where's the money?

Sometimes I wonder how many of those old bums who live on the streets are actually autistic??? Reject the society and that's where you end up: on the street.

AspieWolf
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08 Sep 2010, 3:47 pm

Answer: Home school.

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Dilbert
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08 Sep 2010, 4:07 pm

And then what? Home work followed by home retirement?

Aspiezone
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08 Sep 2010, 4:11 pm

Amik wrote:

I don't follow things at an NT pace and I'm a lot happier for it. Going against your neurology is futile. I'm more inwardly motivated than outwardly motivated. I'm more indifferent to societal expectations than the average NT.

Aspiezone
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08 Sep 2010, 4:15 pm

Dilbert wrote:

Sometimes I wonder how many of those old bums who live on the streets are actually autistic??? Reject the society and that's where you end up: on the street.

I think there should be more family pressure to do things right than to do them on time. I'm lucky my family is more laid back. I'm not saying we don't have to do these things, I'm saying we don't have to go at an NT pace. Our lifespans are getting longer than ever and the retirement age is rising. Why is it so important to be on time? Why not relax and do things your own way? We're Aspies. Trying to live like neurotypicals would never work. We need to improvise and do everything our own way. I've noticed that the happiest Aspies are the ones who don't try to be NT.

Craig28
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08 Sep 2010, 4:16 pm

I go against my AS all the time, AS for me is just a big pain in the ass that I don't need. Its actually made me more of a violent person, AS has. I have no problem with going against an NT, I don't give a f**k, Who the bloody hell do they think are trying to hurt me?

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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08 Sep 2010, 4:18 pm

Aspiezone wrote:

Why not go at an autistic pace? Our development is uneven. It makes sense we would do some things earlier and other things later. Going against your neurology is futile.

Because autistics find success when they go at an NT pace since the world revolves around the NT type.

Craig28
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08 Sep 2010, 4:24 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:

Because autistics find success when they go at an NT pace since the world revolves around the NT type.

BINGO!! This gal is spot on. There are NO benefits to having AS. At all.

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