I was exploited and hurt by a pedophile on line

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Hello there I'm a 14 1/2 year old girl who lives in Melbourne Australia. I was diagnosed with Asperger's at about age 9 and found out myself at 11. I made an intimate friendship with a guy all the way from Paksitan on line. He was around thirty. It was all through Facebook and msn. He added me and it went on for almost a year. At first it was just regular topics like his religion Islam, things in general and our interests. But then the second time we talked he asked me just out of nowhere in the middle of a conversation "Do you have a boyfriend?" I replied back "No why?" "Just asking" He then began sending me these Facebook roses and hugs. I had no idea he was developing an attraction to me. The only thing I ever was looking for was pure friendship but he pushed it further. And then a few weeks after he began requesting me to have sexual fantisies with him. The first one ever was about me going to the beach with him and he asked things like "Do you mind if I remove your bikini?" or "Where do you want me to kiss you?" I was a bit suprised at this. It lasted for an hour or so. He said he was feeling really wet afterwards. As he saw me in a bikini in one of my pictures. He said I had "an extremely sexy body" and was a really attractive girl.

I also turned to him a lot when something was upsetting me and formed a close bond, then became emotionally attached. I was pretty isolated and sad at the time. We regularly also talked about feelings and hopes. There was this irritating thing though about him always nagging me to buy a webcam. The even worse thing was he was married with a two year old daughter. But soon few months in I managed to view webcam from other people's houses. He said it was "to feel closer to me" and seemed sad when I didnt do it. I actually showed him my breasts a few times and that's where it moved on to audio chat. Through voice. I had convos through voice! He often showed me his penis on webcam and sexual fantisies through it. Even when he had sex with his wife he would talk about it with me. Though one say he was trying to "help speed my computer up" and he installed a program called Teamviewer to hack it. Since he was an IT professional. When my family arrived afterwarda they completely found out about my "Paki pervert" I had an arguement with them and bawled my eyes out of hurt. He hacked my mother's Facebook account as well, because it said. I was so upset and broke down a few times the next week, when my mother said I had to cut off cotact with him. It hurt me so much. My aunt's husband, who is an IT pro too, got into his account on facebook eventually and saw the convo he had with his other perverted pedophilic friend. My sister told me all the things he wrote like "She is so stupid and easy to manipulate" and how he was going to install viruses into my computer and hack it. I was even more heart stricken. How could he do this to me? After all the affection and sympathy I provided him, particularly one time when his father passed away. My psycologist said to me he partially cared about nothing but himself and was exploiting me and my kindness. Was this entirely true though? He also had another 300 girls as his friend on facebook and recently has sent me messages like "I may never forget you my best aussie friend" "I miss you my friend, hope you are fine, my wife is not well nowadays she is in hospital" I just didn't know whether I could trust him after how he has hurt me, exploited me sexually and hacked into my family's computer. And he just won't stop sending messages. It still hurts to think of it My babes, I call him, disappointed me.

I'm not really sure what to say about that OP. I'm very sorry you got involved with someone like that. Some people on the internet can be extremely sick & perverted sometimes. I hope he's not still sending you messages & stuff. Have your parents tried reporting him to the authorities

unfortunately this is very common online

Have you even wiped and reloaded your system? Do so and change all your passwords. Report him to FB for hacking and pedophile activity. Don't delete your conversations with him as that's your evidence of his activities. Don't respond to him anymore but keep record of everything he sends to you. He might very well be doing this to other girls.

Since this is an international thing, I'm not sure what can be legally done by you or your family, but you can at least get his ass banned off FB and maybe even FB will pursue charges against him for using their service for illegal activity.

Honey, a 30-year-old, married man has no legitimate reason to have an online social relationship with a 14-year-old girl. If he wasn't married, it would make no difference. There is no legitimate reason.

I know this will be difficult to understand, because your feelings for him were real. Unfortunately, his feelings for you were not. He was exploiting you for his own sexual gratification - and he didn't care how much he manipulated you in order to do that.

Please work with your parents to be sure your computer is secure - so that you never hear from him again - and work through these feelings with your therapist. I'm so sorry this happened to you, but with the proper help, you can recover. Take care.

You need to realize there are dangerous people in the world, and while it's impossible to tell at first who is dangerous and who isn't, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself.

1. Don't be afraid to say no to people. If you have to be rude to people who are making unwanted advances towards you, be rude.

2. Don't give out your age online if you are under 18. Even if you are over 18 you will occasionally run into someone who has sexual intentions.

3. Don't friend on facebook that you don't know in person

4. Don't be afraid to cut off communication with people who are making sexual advances towards you.

5. Don't be afraid to report people who are harassing you.

6. Keep in mind that people might not be who they tell you they are, and the internet is full of pedophiles.

If you can't follow this you shouldn't be online.

It's people like him that make the internet a dangerous and unsafe place. I know.how you must feel though, things like that must be devastating.

I can be a very nasty, sick person when I want to be (I'd never do this kind of thing to any minor), but reading this actually brought a tear to my eye. I can see how the OP was attracted to him, the pervert came across as caring and supportive of the OP. The bait. For a young girl, with the emotions that teenagers have, these things are sadly all to common.

You deserve much, much better. And you will find that ... but probably not on the internet, and not with men your parents would never approve of.

Crimes like this strike you at your core, because it draws into question your sense of your own judgment. Don't let it. He is a master manipulator and he told you lies with the sole intent of getting things from you that you otherwise would never have given. He is a thief, and a skilled one.

Consider this a lesson learned, and move on. That experience validates pretty much all the rules I've seen for what teens should and should not do on the internet. Copy down the rules and take them to heart. The rules are to keep you safe from criminals like him.

It will hurt for a long time. Let yourself feel what you need to feel in the way of pain, grief, longing, whatever. But get your head in control of your heart. You are the innocent who became the victim of a crime. He is the criminal who perpetrated the crime. There is nothing there worth having. Cut him out of your life forever and never, never look back.

I think its a common online occurance. When I was 14 I had some weirdos say things like that to me in chat rooms. One man told me to "Go out and lose my virginity" that night.

He sounds like a real scumbag. People who do that are sickos and are better off dead - Belittling you to some other f*ck up, its sick. He will get whats coming to him. I hope your mother wrote to his wife.

You're a very naive girl. What were you doing talking to someone at 30 online?

This is why I'm personally against teenagers using the internet, but that's just me. I didn't use forums until I was 19 and I didn't meet up with people from the net until I was 23.

If I ever have kids I'm going to restrict them from using the net UNTIL they're old and smart enough to use common sense.

I know this guy is a total scumbag, but I blame your parents for letting you have a computer.

This is simply not true. A friend can be anyone. Sexuality should never be in the mix, however.

It is true. It's not socially acceptable for grown men to get that close to a child.

I would say about 50% of my interactions on the computer are with older males, and this was true at the age of the OP as well. In fact this reminds me of the movie Mary and Max; maybe you should watch it.

So when you were 14 half the people you talked to were 30 year old men?

Are you like super mature or something? I was still playing with toys at 14.

I'm sorry, but I will never agree with you, @buryuntime. A 30-year-old man should not be engaging socially with a 14-year-old girl - because of exactly what happened to this girl. Why would a 30-year-old man want to hear about the life of a 14-year-old girl? Why, to manipulate her, of course. To use his experience to get her to do things that she shouldn't do. To use and abuse her mentally, emotionally and physically. So the answer is not only no, but hell no.