Why do people have sex outside of marrige?

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I don't understand why people do it before they even get married. Is the whole western world sex crazy? What's so great about sex? Whats with teen pregnancy these days? Does anybody understand? Am I the only one confused about this? I know I am throwing a lot of questions out there, but this is a complicated issue. Somebody PLEASE help me with this concept.

Last edited by PHISHA51 on 14 Sep 2010, 7:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Because they can.

What's so great about marriage? People can have commitment, love, companionship, etc... outside of marriage too. All marriage really offers is tax benefits.

I concur that sex without the prospect of lifetime bonding and raising children is pointless.

Sex is an addiction. A lot of people willingly give in to their addictions instead of understanding and fixing them. I would like to say that "it's an NT thing", but apparently there are some people diagnosed with autism who enjoy sex for its own sake...

Prudes. Puritan prudes!

Sex is awesome. Denying oneself sex isn't healthy for your well being.

And also because we can.

Edit:

This too. The institution of marriage is a religious and financial obligation. Love and commitment and raising children aren't necessarily linked to marriage. Whooping 50% of parents in Scandinavia aren't married and yet those cultures are far richer and healthier than the prudish Americans.

I'm guilty of this, so I'll field it with some possible reasons --

Different reasons, some interrelated --

1) You got married too early, and didn't get to play the field.

2) You have fetishes that are either unfulfilled or unfulfillable. Example -- maybe you always wanted to experiment with bi-sexuality, but didn't get the chance pre-marriage.

3) You are angry at your spouse, or they have done something that hurts you and makes you think that they no longer value the relationship. However, you can't just get divorced, because depending on where you live, divorce law might strip you of at least 50% of your joint assets and/or leave you paying some kind of support payment, all for another person's change of heart. You decide you will get back at them secretly, while keeping your assets.

4) You are bored or unfulfilled in your sex life, and want something more.

5) You are capable of loving one person, yet having sex with another without too much emotional attachment.

6) You still value the marriage and know that this is the only person for you, yet for any of the reasons above, feel a strong need to seek sexual activity outside of the marriage. In some countries and cultures, this is not a big deal.

EDIT -- I reread the question and realized just now that the OP wasn't talking about infidelity, he/she was talking about sex in general.

If you don't understand, you might be asexual. Sexual attraction/desire is one of our strongest biological impulses, tied to the need for organisms to replicate. If you don't feel this already, it's hard to explain, but it's almost like gravity, very hard to resist or not give in to.

Because they want to? What if someone never got married, or didn't get married until they're too old and frail to be bouncing up and down on a bed, they would be very frustrated throughout their lives.
There is nothing wrong with sex outside marriage, I for one don't ever want to get married I just want a long term relationship but when I'm older kids as well. OH NOES! SHOCK HORROR GASP.

Waiting until marriage is a long, long wait. Those are some powerful hormones. Even couples who commit to having sex only with each other will often do it with their fiance before the actual ceremony.


The whole western world? The entire world, not just a subsection of it. And not just humans either. Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it.



Our minds and bodies are wired to think it's great because otherwise we would not do it and life would end for all creatures except the ones that reproduce asexually.



Teen pregnancy is actually on the decline these days. Not because teens are having less sex. But rather because condoms are readily available.


Yes, we are wired this way.



No. You are not the only one.

I don't understand what's so special about marriage in the first place. Historically, it was a way to join families and get rid of your daughters - now it's just for tradition, tax and insurance benefits. Nothing about marriage makes sex any more special.
Also, encouraging no sex before marriage is probably the worst way to prevent teen pregnancy - the average of age of marriage is going up to where it's in the mid-20s in the US and Europe I believe - there's no way that most people would hold off that long.

Peer pressure, media influence, and pure idiocy are some of the major factors.

It was in decline up till around 2008, and then it rose again. It is believed that glamorized teen pregnancy (Jamie Lynn Spears, Bristol Palin, and the hip mother-daughter relationship in the show Gilmore Girls) played a part in it. I was also on some advice forum in 2007-2008 where a lot of teenage girls were actually asking about the best way to get pregnant it scared me.

And seriously, quit being so patronizing when you don't even know all the facts.

Most because they enjoy it, some because it's not 'cool' to not be getting laid, and the biggest one I've seen: peer pressure from their potential partner.

I'm almost 20 and I'm still a virgin. I don't think any of my friends are, and lots of people ask me questions about why I am like it's really fascinating (some think I'm asexual, though I'm not). I think most people have sex just because they enjoy it, and it seems like after you've done it once it begins to feel like a need. Another reason...I can't even remember all the girls I've talked to that said they had sex in order to keep a boyfriend, or to get someone to like them. I pretty much stopped thinking about the possibility of having a relationship anywhere in the near future because, at least with the people I've met, I feel like they see it as a requirement for a relationship to happen. I don't even really want to have a relationship anymore because the pressure to have sex is just too great.

The same reason people have sex within a marriage.

It's been posted many times on the adult forum that "If you don't get it, you don't get it." Once you're in a good marriage - you get it.

My parents have been in a good marriage for over 25 years. My aunt and "uncle" have been dating for over 30 years, and still have not married (and they don't plan to).

People who "Are in a good marriage" usually have a positive view of marriage before they get married. People who don't view marriage as highly will probably not get married (and probably won't care as much if they do get married, even if their marriage is "good").

A religious man once said to me: "You really should believe in God." I asked "why?" and he said "You'd know if you believed."
That type of argument is illogical.

Why do people drink outside of a bar? Because they can.

Why do people drive off the road? Because they can.

Why do people not put trash in trash cans? Because they can.

Why do people defecate outdoors? Because they can.

Why do people sell high and buy low? Because they can.

Really, what you want to do with your sex life is your own business. Do what pleases you.

Some of us might never get married so sex outside of marriage is the course of action. Even that might not even happen.

Don't try to understand people. I've been trying for years and I have no answers. All I know is that your life is simply your own. If there is even one of you, then there are more who are like you and agree with your thoughts on the matter. It's a big world!