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LePetitPrince
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18 May 2006, 1:16 pm

Do you girls like to be stared by guys in general? Is this a "+" for your self-esteem when guys stare on u?
and for the girls who says no and wear mini skirt and mini clothes...why do u wear such things then ?



TheGreyBadger
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18 May 2006, 1:24 pm

First, it depends on the stare. If the boy is drooling and comes across as "better not meet him in a dark alley or he'll tear your clothes off," no. If his stare means "She's beautiful and I want to go out with her," yes. Remember, a lot of girls walk a fine line between having boys admire their looks (good) and boys seeing them as raw meat (scary).

Second, most girls wear what they wear partly to gain status points with the in-crowd of other girls. If all the Cool Girls are wearing miniskirts - or if they were wearing burqas - almost every girl in the school would do the same. Why? Because if she didn't she'd get ragged on. Ask any female Aspie about that!

Third, teenagers - boys and girls - are still trying to sort out their feelings, thoughts, and behavior. Some girls know to a hair what effect their presentation has on boys; others have No Clue (again, see above.) Not to mention what has an effect on a boy like (say) Baldo in the funnies has a totally different effect on (say) Mike Tyson!

Hope this helps,

The Grey Badger, former girl, mother of two girls, grandmother of a little girl.



Sundy
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18 May 2006, 2:00 pm

I don't like it if they're drooling, but if they catch my eye and give me a smile, I don't mind at all. That's when it's a self-esteem gold star. If they're following me around and staring (not glancing, but STARING) at me, that's not cool. I'll say something to guys if they do that. If you're at a club/bar/social event with lots of people, you can stare a little more.



flea
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18 May 2006, 5:07 pm

i hate it.
sometimes i wish i was ugly so that no one would stare at me or want to go out with me.
i make myself look nice for me, and i wish people would realize i didn't do it for them.



hale_bopp
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18 May 2006, 11:59 pm

No, I don't like to be stared at. It gives me the creeps.

The odd glance every now and then is nice.



pineapple
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19 May 2006, 8:58 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
No, I don't like to be stared at. It gives me the creeps.

The odd glance every now and then is nice.


I agree. Glances are fine (I probably wouldn't even notice anyway), but prolonged staring is really creepy. If I do wear a short skirt, it's because I think it's stylish...I dress for myself also, I'm not expecting to be hit on.



Elanivalae
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19 May 2006, 11:31 pm

No. At least, I don't. I'd say a third of the time I feel like a piece of meat when they stare, another third of the time it's just freaking creepy, and the final third make me suspect I have a piece of food stuck in my teeth. If someone wants to make my acquaintance, they should talk to me, not stare at me. I'm not an ornament here to be looked at, I'm a person here to be interacted with.

And I don't wear trashy clothes, so the second part doesn't apply to me. :)



Shelob
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21 May 2006, 11:58 am

I don't like it at all, even if it's in a "clean" way. It makes me feel very uncomfortable and I usually become verbally agressive. :evil: I guess I am more of a predator than of a prey -regarding relationships at least... 8)



MishLuvsHer2Boys
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21 May 2006, 7:23 pm

For me it's one thing to casually glance at me and it be appreciated or such but to stare at me, causes me the creeps. Secondly, while I don't wear any of those clothes, I feel that people make the pathetic judgements that women that wear that stuff are automatically trashy, etc. likely haven't given the person a better look inside at their personality and all. It's like saying a woman wearing those clothes are looking to get raped. That's not true.



Elanivalae
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21 May 2006, 9:17 pm

MishLuvsHer2Boys wrote:
For me it's one thing to casually glance at me and it be appreciated or such but to stare at me, causes me the creeps. Secondly, while I don't wear any of those clothes, I feel that people make the pathetic judgements that women that wear that stuff are automatically trashy, etc. likely haven't given the person a better look inside at their personality and all. It's like saying a woman wearing those clothes are looking to get raped. That's not true.


The woman doesn't have to be trashy for the clothes she is wearing to be trashy. They're entirely separate judgments.



blue_bean
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22 May 2006, 10:42 am

A quick few second glance at a girls face is the more tolerable option for me. Maybe accompanied with a smile and a nod. I dont think I could handle it if a guy was standing there leering at every part of my body. I would want to vacate the premises immediately 8O .



CelanKenay
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25 May 2006, 11:59 pm

Okay, I'll admit it...I'm an exhibitionist, and I like the sense of power I get from having men admire my appearance. It's horribly narcissistic, but I know it's true of myself.


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Anna4077
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14 Jun 2006, 12:01 am

:oops: True story: a guy was staring at me and I offered him a piece of the gum I was chewing,assuming that he wanted some (...gum,that is):oops:



Musical_Lottie
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15 Jun 2006, 8:16 am

I've never been glanced at so I wouldn't know. I hate being looked at for longer than a glance because I don't know why they're looking at me (I sincerely doubt it's in an admiring way) and I feel really self-conscious and start feeling panicky. The only time I don't really mind is if I look up and see my friend looking at me. Again I don't know why he's looking at me, but I feel I love him and we're very good friends, so I trust him not to be looking for any wrong reason. Anyone else and it creeps me out.


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AmeliaJane
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15 Jun 2006, 11:01 am

Being looked at in a friendly & appreciative way is nice, but staring is scary. If you're caught looking at a girl, as long as you give her a friendly smile & say hi, then stop looking, it should make the girl feel comfortable.

Most girls are aware of what a guy is likely to be thinking if he looks at her, but we also know that it's the way men are made, and if they're nice and friendly & not leery it isn't usually perceived as a threat. Sometimes we even like it :wink:


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18 Jun 2006, 3:54 am

LePetitPrince wrote:
Do you girls like to be stared by guys in general? Is this a "+" for your self-esteem when guys stare on u?
and for the girls who says no and wear mini skirt and mini clothes...why do u wear such things then ?


No, women do not like to be stared at. It makes them uncomfortable. We have no way to know if the man is harmless or is a potential rapist. So, a man staring at us, is threatening.

Also, any stare lasting more than a second or two is generally seen as threatening, whether to a male or a female. A brief stare at a party might be an exception, if you also smile during the stare. A brief stare (one or two seconds only) in a party, where people know each other (vs. in public among strangers) tends to translate to "I would like to talk to you". Context is important, but again, no more than a second or two stare, if any.

As for why women wear revealing clothing in public. Women like to look cute and in fashion. To wear the latest styles, which often include revealing clothing (such as mini skirts, or low cut tops) enhances a woman's social standing - mainly among other females, but also with males she DOES wish to attract. There is no way to know if you are one of those males. But if you have never met her or do not know her very well, it is best to assume you are NOT one of those males. This is not to say she may not later grow to like you if she DOES meet you somehow. BUT it does mean that she did not wear the mini skirt FOR you. She can't dress for the approval of people she has never met, right?

To sum up - women dress for fashion sake, and to enhance their own self esteem (to look attractive in the mirror) or social standing (because they are rated as attractive and in fashion). It varies by woman but in general that is why. It is not to do with wanting all males to stare at them or ask them out. It is more to do with being fashionable.

Not every woman can look attractive in mini skirts or other revealing outfits. (I'm sorry, everyone, if that is not PC. I'm a woman, and I don't wear such things any more... But then, I'm not in my 20s any more and socially speaking, outer appearance isn't as relevant to me now.) To be able to wear those outfits carries a certain amount of social cachet. Among those who value physical appearance, of course.

Hope that helps explain things.