How to reject a possibly autistic guy?

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I'm diagnosed with HFA but nobody really knows and I don't tell anyone unless I feel up to it, and I'm really ashamed about having it. I try really hard to act normal and stuff but it usually doesn't work that well and I just keep quiet. I'm in community college and its my first semester full-time (I took classes in HS and college at the same time for 2 years).

A few weeks ago I met a guy. We talked for awhile and he sort of pressured me into giving him my phone number. I hate giving out my phone number because whenever I do its usually a weird guy bothering me or a weird guy hitting on me and asking me out.

I think he's autistic too because he was kind of awkward. He was talking about how he hates everybody who doesn't like him, how he doesn't get along with his nurse, and when he saw a professor he didn't like...he decided to hide under a bench? I mean it may make me sort of a jerk to assume he's autistic...but I just think he's a bit awkward.

Since I've met him, its been awkward because he texts me and calls me constantly (when I'm working), and keeps talking about hanging out with me...but I just don't feel up to being his friend. I have a myriad of problems making friends...and rejecting people...but I don't feel like we have that much in common at all. So I sort of want him to stop texting me. How do I deal with this? I would feel like a jerk if I yelled at him or anything...I just don't feel comfortable talking to him at all though. Thanks.

He mentioned to me that he gets rejected all the time and that he's really lonely. I just don't want to be mean about him not talking to me.

My views on my autism are really personal to me. I just want to be able to nicely say I would like if he left me alone?

Quite frankly, there's no way out of this that doesn't leave you, in some way, as the 'bad guy.' Telling someone nicely you don't like them is better than screaming it to him in front of a crowd, but the end result is pretty much him saying "I just wanted to have a friend for once" or something and making you feel like a jerk. But you can't help who you like and don't like, and 'fixing' him is a bigger job than you can take on. Maybe you could tell him there are 'rules' to talking to you, like no negativity or some such. If it's the difference between keeping you and losing you, he might just listen to reason.

You just need to tell him you don't want to be friends, not really any other way if he can't figure it out on his own. I've seen this happen with a couple of NT friends, there was even one guy who I almost had to tell to f*** off but someone else did so first, yet she felt bad about it afterward. It sucks, but sometimes there's just no way around it.

Thanks alot, I'm gonna try to do that.


I don't tell people I'm autistic, but I think I'l start telling people that I don't give my number out. I feel pretty stupid for letting people just take my number...haha.

You can make up a story about only using your phone for emergencies, or not liking talking on the phone, or something like that. It seems silly to make up a story but sometimes it's just easier than telling the truth and having to explain it. I do that all the time, I absolutely HATE talking on the phone and would sooner chat with someone online or even in person.

He may be a loner and you may well feel sorry for him, but you have to consider that he might be trying to manipulate you by using emotional blackmail. He probably doesn't realise the effect this has on others. But, you have to be a bit cool about it. If you ask him a couple of times to stop contacting you so often and he doesn't take no for an answer, then you'll have to blank him. If he's willing to accept your decision however, then he could be a worthwhile friend.

If he doesn't respect your decision...

Whatever you do, don't ever reject anyone by being mean to them. Not only could it hurt their feelings...but people occasionally like to seek revenge and will use what you say against you. Don't give any real reasons why you're dumping them either...just the general answers. Blanking is the best bet, because people can't grab onto anything you say or do and use it to hurt you.

How far away is this guy from you? Is there a chance you could accidentally bump into him? If you do see him face to face and he says hi, pretend that he isn't there. Don't turn away or react in any way cos then he'll know you've noticed him. Just pretend he isn't there, and carry on doing what you were already doing.

Just tell him you're seeing someone now.

And, no matter how you reject him, a guy like that will stalk you. He's already possessive as it is. Nothing bad will likely come out of it but it can be a stressful feeling having to deal with him even further.

And when he does follow you, tell him straight up that he's being creepy and that if he really respected you, he'll respect your privacy.

Maybe you can give him the sentimental BS line of how he'll meet a nice girl and then after that, if you can point out his flaws in a nice way and tell him how he could improve, it'll make him feel better about himself.

Because let's face it...a guy like that, unless he changes and adapts, has no hope in this world.