This is the worst depression I've ever faced

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Yes, same depression.
I have managed to successfully make it feel as though it's day one of the break up despite it having been six months.
No words can describe the emotional baggage I feel these days.

The pain is so big that it can only be described through poetry and through song.

My ex girlfriend is not even a friend any more.

People might be fed up with my threads and understandably so, but I am just like the suffering artists in the world whose emotions are stronger than their self control.

This is so unbearable.
She might even be in a photograph with another man - I can't tell for sure if it is her or not, and I don't know what the situation would be.

She never accommodated for my needs at all when it came to the break up and stuff. She is my joint best friend... I can't believe she no longer talks to me... ><
I have little faith left in the world... my life was meant to be in America.

I feel clinically depressed... there was a slight relief for a few days just recently and I was doing very well then, but now I feel terrible again, and it is worse this time because she is isolating me.

I can't function right now... not too well anyway.

I don't want to move on and stuff... I want justice...
I want a life...
There is no contact in a general setting with people in real life other than my family... seldom any special events for music... I feel so desolate I am beginning to wonder if I'll ever be in a situation where I won't have to rely 100% on patience, battling with depression.

This hurts so much.

I am really sorry you feel so bad. (((((((((Hugs))))))) I will pray that you feel better soon.

I can relate. I try to do what I can to manage my depression and just take one day at a time. *hug* I hope it gets better soon.

I can relate. I try to do what I can to manage my depression and just take one day at a time. *hug* I hope it gets better soon.

I can relate. I try to do what I can to manage my depression and just take one day at a time. *hug* I hope it gets better soon.

I can also relate totally, but from a distance now..looking at my own version of that as if it's something ugly sited a long way off.
Why did you start to feel better? And then what made you relapse?

It sounds like heartbreak, and time fixes it, but the hard part is dealing with it until that happens.
For that I have little advice.

I can't deal with it myself.

The best revenge is being awesome btw.

Good luck, and i'm sorry

It depresses me how easily relationships end... I wish it were the case that people wanted to stick around, repair any damage no matter what the stress, and only look at ending a relationship if someone does something seriously wrong - this would significantly decrease break ups and divorces, many which happen far too easily and cheaply, but we know that the result is anything but cheap - the pain these things can cause can be catastrophic.
Too many times people leave me, but no break up depression I've felt even holds a candle to this one.

zen_mistress: Thank you very much. That is kind of you. *Hug*

pandorazmtbox: Thank you very much. One day at a time does help and the mind will always find an opportunity for great potential use when heavy feelings disappear, increasing the effect of calming techniques, coping mechanisms and good ideas. I hope you feel well. *Hug*

nostromo: I think what made me feel better is possibly simply coming to terms with the idea that I need to learn independent skills, and I think starting to try to feel more independent created comfort and made me understand myself more.
I think what made me depressed again was reading some old conversations her and I once had.

hale_bopp: Yeah last night (as it's now 9:26am) was difficult - I wish that when I need to talk to her she can lend a hand or something but she decides for the whole isolation, which I find harsh - it all led to this because I was trying very hard to be with her and cope whilst talking to her, sometimes arguing, and it stressed her out and made her want to stop talking to me completely, to help me move on I guess but also likely for her own peace of mind.
Thank you very much.
I hope you feel well. *Hug*

Being cut off like that from someone is the worst, very very hard to take. But although it seems to you she is being cruel and uncaring to you, its almost certainly her not knowing how to deal with things properly and she thinks it is the best way.
Hang in there, just keep hanging in there and swat thoughts of her away before they settle in and fester,
It will get better with time, it always does.

The most you can do is try and pursue your interests. It will not stop hurting until other interests gradually fill the hole.

Its a horrible horrible feeling having your heart broken. I do hope you find a way to dull the pain.. although i have found nothing does.

Are you into art? Perhaps paint a picture?

nostromo: Thank you very much. Yeah perhaps you are right there... I feel well today but it wouldn't go amiss if she just at least from time to time had a conversation with me.

hale_bopp: Thank you very much. As mentioned I do feel well today.
The art I am capable at is music and literature.

If only it were that easy... However I've found that in many cases people DO want to repair that damage, there is just a period where the stress is in fact so great that attempting to do so, while it may seem a good idea, is pointless.

For me, no matter how I tried, it was probably a legitimate 2 years before I really had any meaningful reparation with my ex, and now she is one of my very best friends, but some of the s**t that went down when we broke up was so raw that it's not even worth addressing, and for it to "work" we need to essentially exist in an alternate universe where our relationship never happened.

If I were to look at this scenario 6 months or a year after the fact, I would say no f**king way could I just tune out the past, but at this point (~4 years later) not only can I do it but I'm extremely happy with it.

It took me five years to get over my last break up from an abusive relationship with another aspie. Now that I'm going through another with an nt, I'm on week 3 with no improvements emotionally since day 2. Day 1 my whole body was shaking and I wouldn't have been able to type. My new x told me you that the emotions for each person aren't supposed to go away if really care about them. It seems horribly painful to me. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to feel. One thing I will say is that it does give you a lot of time to think about what happened. If you ever feel ready to handle a next time with someone. Maybe you might have learned something new by then. I don't really think I should really be giving advice at a time when I'm hurting so much myself. Just be okay with being you. Maybe go out with friends, or even enjoy an outing alone. Going on a really long walk, getting yourself some food, or whatever. You don't have to worry about if your schedule conflicts with someone else's, you can feel the fresh air on your face with out having to be social, you can leave whenever you feel like it. It always makes me feel comfortable in my own skin. I think I might follow my own advice and take myself on a picnic tomorrow. Maybe you find something that suits you. It will be hard, for who knows how long. Just hang in there. It'll be okay. Somehow...