Joined: 10 Aug 2010 Age: 45 Gender: Female Posts: 25
30 Sep 2010, 9:05 pm
I have been doing internet dating for a while now and find that I am not physically attracted to most of the men that I meet even though I go on dates with quite a few people. I've only really got close to three men in my life although have been attracted to a few others that weren't interested in me. Is it the case that people with Asperger's may be attracted to fewer people than NTs? Has anyone else found this?
I have been doing internet dating for a while now and find that I am not physically attracted to most of the men that I meet even though I go on dates with quite a few people. I've only really got close to three men in my life although have been attracted to a few others that weren't interested in me. Is it the case that people with Asperger's may be attracted to fewer people than NTs? Has anyone else found this?
i am curious about people's experiences with this. i have had the opposite problem - i've always been attracted to TOO MANY people.
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Joined: 29 Aug 2010 Age: 45 Gender: Male Posts: 895
30 Sep 2010, 11:03 pm
Based on the posts I've read in the L&D forum, I've never really gotten the impression that AS people are attracted to fewer people than NT people. Then again, people who are asexual and/or not interested in having a relationship probably don't hang around this place all that much, if at all.
Joined: 2 Nov 2004 Gender: Female Posts: 17,054 Location: None
30 Sep 2010, 11:06 pm
Im not attraced to anyone. Averaging one every 2 years. Then again I don't actually go LOOKING for people
Its probably because I'm looking for a soulmate not pointless crap. This includes dating (In other words, shoving yourself into a room with someone and someone saying "try to like them" on the off chance that you do), flings with people I hardly know, Relationships with people who I do not feel are one of my soul mates, etc etc
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I very seldom find myself attracted to anyone, and when I do, then watch out....also it is not the conventionality of standard physical attractiveness that I find attractive..it is more of the "essence" of a person, regardless of what they look like. If I am attracted to a person, then I will find everything about that person attractive...
Joined: 15 Aug 2010 Age: 59 Gender: Male Posts: 563 Location: London
01 Oct 2010, 2:06 am
I feel the same
If the essence of a person is beautiful the outside shines like the sun for me.
I find conventionally attractive women dull ........looking at most women in London they just look like herons or cormorants in high heels and business suits on.
I fall for lots of artistic aspie women.......the blend of quirkiness, creativity and gentleness is what I find beautiful.......
Joined: 2 Nov 2004 Gender: Female Posts: 17,054 Location: None
01 Oct 2010, 3:38 am
poopylungstuffing wrote:
I very seldom find myself attracted to anyone, and when I do, then watch out....also it is not the conventionality of standard physical attractiveness that I find attractive..it is more of the "essence" of a person, regardless of what they look like. If I am attracted to a person, then I will find everything about that person attractive...
Joined: 10 Aug 2010 Age: 45 Gender: Female Posts: 25
01 Oct 2010, 7:31 am
I have been doing internet dating for a while now and find that I am not physically attracted to most of the men that I meet even though I go on dates with quite a few people. I've only really got close to three men in my life although have been attracted to a few others that weren't interested in me. Is it the case that people with Asperger's may be attracted to fewer people than NTs? Has anyone else found this?
I don't know if it's an AS thing or something else, but I am the same way. I've only REALLY been attracted to like 5 people in my life. I find I can't really get worked up over someone unless I already know them as a friend and really like their personality.
Joined: 17 Jun 2010 Age: 57 Gender: Female Posts: 3,131
01 Oct 2010, 8:31 am
cecdwarfer wrote:
I have been doing internet dating for a while now and find that I am not physically attracted to most of the men that I meet even though I go on dates with quite a few people. I've only really got close to three men in my life although have been attracted to a few others that weren't interested in me. Is it the case that people with Asperger's may be attracted to fewer people than NTs? Has anyone else found this?
Joined: 17 Jun 2010 Age: 57 Gender: Female Posts: 3,131
01 Oct 2010, 8:32 am
hale_bopp wrote:
poopylungstuffing wrote:
I very seldom find myself attracted to anyone, and when I do, then watch out....also it is not the conventionality of standard physical attractiveness that I find attractive..it is more of the "essence" of a person, regardless of what they look like. If I am attracted to a person, then I will find everything about that person attractive...
Yeh... I've never been "physically attracted" to anyone... not like most ppl seem to be.
I do notice that some ppl are nice looking, I believe its a much smaller percentage of ppl than others notice, but still do... but never been "attracted" to someone.
However, I do like people because shockingly enough, there is more to someone than their looks *shrug*
I honestly don't see what the huge hype is over whether or not someone is attractive... but then again, seeing as I'm pretty much asexual, sorta biased on that behalf...
it seems like maybe there are 2 distinct questions here... first of all whether or not aspies are ATTRACTED to many people, and second of all whether aspies find very many people ATTRACTIVE.
i find very few people attractive to look at. i think that physical appearance is quite overrated in popular media and society.
but... i have become physically and emotionally attracted to lots of people, and for many reasons. i have had many crushes before, and have fallen in love more than once.
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