It always seems like I fail at everything in life!

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Really. All my life it always seems I fail at everything. Just like the cute girl at work she said I was too pushy which might have hurt my chances. I mean since I went on the Lexapro it has seemed to help me out some with my ADD and depression which Im a little more friendly. My head doc said I should make friends or at least my age most people are out doing things. I mean I try to get a gf and I still cant do anything right. I'll never have a real job or anything. Icant even handle going to school which I failed early last year. I have no friends up here, I try my best and it still blows up in my face! I mean Im always polite to people in public, but I still cant make friends.

Could you elaborate on what happens why you try to make friends? Does it follow any sort of pattern?

WHEN you try to make friends, I meant.

Interesting freudian slip, maybe.

You should listen to advice people have to offer..

And by the way you go on about "hot" girls, do you really think it's a realistic look on life to only want to associate with people that look good?

Don't try to get a girlfriend. Try to get a friend that is a girl. You should think of it like taking baby steps. Don't try to jump to the end of the game when it has barely just begun. Just talking to a particular girl could be helpful, if you do it on a regular basis. Maybe you will have something in common. A common interest that you can talk about. That is always a good starting point. If you go into it shooting for the moon, don't be surprised if you end up with nothing. You've just got to go slowly. Be happy if you can pull off a conversation with her once a day, or once every couple of days. After a while, you could become friends. After you get comfortable with your ability to do that...you can work on moving on, with her or with others. It can take a long time, and by that I mean no exaggeration. I am seriously talking about weeks and months.

I think it takes an suave NT jerk to land women quickly, and while I have envied that at times during my life...I don't regret having to work harder for some of that.

And don't worry about "hot" girls. Most are lacking substance...and are only interesting in a carnal way...and then you want to make fun of them. They will lose interest in this, as you likely will as well. Physical attraction can be important, but you should strive more to find someone you have something in common with. To have lasting power, you will have to be able to share something.

As far as feeling like a failure, I feel like that all the time. When I can't seem to keep my priorities around the house in order, I feel like I am failing. It is hard to keep your head up, which is the beauty of a routine. If I can develop a routine, I am able to hide within it...and be comfortable if I do not feel up enough to engage everyone and tackle their world. Looking back, I've found that there are many times in my life where I was just 'going through the motions' of everyday life...but the ability to do that may have been the best thing I had going for me until things could pick up again.

Should I do liek what some others said on this board and write a note to her telling her how I feel and my feelings?

If you know her very well. Otherwise, she may be put off by it, unless you've got a really romantic way with words.

You must be doing stuff that turns people off. Listen to what they are saying. If they are not telling you, then ask point blank what they think about you. I have major problems with relationships too. I figure though that a good 50% of the problems are on my side, and I try to work on those. Nobody said it was easy.

Do not write her a note. She has already indicated to you that she thinks you are pushy. Writing her a note to further expound on the issue of how you feel about her, will turn her away even more. If you must, write a letter to her, but tear it up when you are done. This always makes me feel better. I feel like I am able to sort through complex feelings, get them out, without putting someone off.

I had a guy who I thought was pushy and the more he tried to explain himself, through flowers on my porch, notes, etc. the angrier I became and I eventually wouldn't talk to him at all.

Also, most young women, with the exception of AS women, in my opinion, like the chase. They like the unattainable. This doesn't mean you can't be friendly, but the trick is to act like you have a lot going on in your life, so much so that you only have time to be friendly with her. NT's totally operate this way, so you're going to have to play their games if you want them on your team.

Just my 2c.
Tallgirl

She has already told you she thought you were being too pushy- you need to just forget about it for now. Trying to change her mind will only make you seem more pushy. I know it feels awful when people have decided that they don't want to go out with you without even getting to know you at all- but sadly, there is nothing you can do to change these people's minds. Whatever you do try is only going to make her even less reluctant to go out with.

Like I said on your other thread, if she can get to know you more in the work setting, without the pressure of you wanting a date with her, she's more likely to change her mind than if you hassle her.

I'll wait a week then I'll ask her out again.

A week may seem like a long time to you when you're really wanting something to happen, but to her a week will be nothing. She knows you are interested, if she is interested too she will tell you- there is really nothing more you can do about it (in other words don't ask her out again!)

You know when a girl says "lets be friends"?. That's the IDEAL thing you want to happen. Is that what she's saying?

You could translate "lets be friends" to "don't be needy!". Neediness is the worst thing a guy can do, ever. If you *like* her more than she likes you, then cool your jets and just remain friends... and there's a posibility it might grow into something more... over the long term.

Having a friend who is also female is a very valuable thing. Don't mess it up by getting pushy towards her. Obey her wishes! Obey! Obey!

I agree completely- the best relationships are based on friendship first rather than sex. The sex is fun- but if you are simply looking for sex you're missing out on something much more important.
It takes time to build up a friendship- I know I'm 'guilty' of this too, I think people are really close friends after only a couple of good conversations (when the other person probably still considers me only an acquaintance).
If you keep hassling her for a date you're blowing any chances of a friendship or something more.

Well my biggest mistake was not asking her out over the summer. Reason being? She was back in town for 4 months so she would have had alot more time and not under as much pressure. Course being right now shes only in town for 3 weeks then goes back to Quincy. She does come down on the weekends alot she said though but thats not enough time to do anything. I didnt have the guts to ask her out over the summer. UI think the new medicine helped me some.

Perhaps the summer would have been a better time but at least you actually did manage to ask her out- a huge step for you Hopefully next time won't be quite so hard.