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i've been quite ill for the past few days, and most of the household "stuff" has been left up to my aspie hubby. most everything went smoothly, but there were moments i had to step in & calm things down. i guess normally this wouldn't bother me that much, but i'm waiting for results from medical tests...and still have more tests to go~dr's not exactly sure what's wrong....has me thinking about my own mortality. i worry about how hubby would cope with kids esp. with no family support on either side of the family....anyone else go through these worries ?

sorry you have been ill ster! no thoughts about this much but many asd sites offer estate planning

ster- I'm so sorry to hear you are having health problems. For what it's worth I'm trying to send healing thoughts. ( That's my semi-agnostic version of prayer) I hope you feel better soon.

thanks for the sentiments....still no results yet. stupid holiday weekend........

I am sorry your sick, I too worry about how my NT husband would handle my AS son, just because my husband thinks my son walks all over me... lol and maybe he does (sometimes I just dont sweat the small stuff, its easier to give in to him than fight) but I know that when my son and hub go fishing that my son survives...bottom line, your son will deal with it, and your husband will learn what works and what doesnt (because your not there to fix everything). Just consentrate on getting well and dont worry about what you dont have to! I hope you get good news.

This is my biggest concern - it literally keeps me awake at night worrying - yet I've always been too afraid to put it into words.

My husband and son are both on the spectrum. In the 12 years we've been married, my husband has written maybe a half dozen checks. I know that when I die, they will lose the house within a matter of months. I worry what will become of my kids (we also have an almost 7 year old NT daughter), because my husband doesn't seem able to step up to the plate.

When I get sick, he can step in and do the laundry and cooking and get the kids to school. But none of the "big picture" stuff ever intrudes into his world. It wouldn't occur to him that our daughter might need new clothes until she got sent home from school with busted seams in her old ones. He would clean the house all day long, get the mail out of the box, and then just pile it on the fridge and never pay attention to it or pay a single bill. It just doesn't occur to him.

We have no family to step in, and short some tragedy I'll clearly be the first to go. I just keep hoping it won't be until my son is out of high school and nearly on his own and my daughter is old enough to help the two of them out.

Could you make your husband a chart? with pictures?

That would be one big chart... And I'm sure there's some contingencies I won't think of.

And we're both assuming he will LOOK at the chart

don't laugh...i've tried the chart thing....hubby even asked for it ( said it was easier than trying to guess what i wanted help with ! LOL)........just finished paying the bills~what stress...hubby gets so worked up, i just don't know whether bills would actually get paid without me around.with 3 aspies in the house and only 2 NTs, i pray that i live a long, long, long time~at least until kids are all grown and on their own ( heck, at the rate we're going that might be when i'm 90 ! )

Ster, I didn't want to seem nosey, but are you feeling better? A while back you weren't feeling well and I hope things are better now, just didn't want to be invasive.

i am feeling better, thanks...actually only got the results from the final tests on this past Friday~ aspie son took the message, and didn't tell me until 7 pm~well after the drs was closed....all i know is that i'm ok thank goodness!

I'm glad.

I know what you mean about worrying what would happen if anything (god forbid) should happen. I think that we go through just that bit more stress than other parents (if you know what I mean). Therefore, because we are so needed, we have a duty to look after ourselves more. My mum's terrified that she might have to look after my 3 toads if I kicked the bucket and keeps bringing vitamins round. But now you have shamed me and reminded me, I will.


I remember when 2 years ago I had to have surgery to remove a dodgy mole on my back (probably caused by my pitiful attempts to get a tan in portugal when I was 17 so that I'd blend in a bit more with the chic italians and the cool swiss surfers but only ever ended up looking like a red and white striped idiot). I found myself in the car-park of the hospital waiting for a taxi home contemplating my mortality.

Perhaps everyone should pitch in with their healthy tips to help us all stay here for as long as possible!

sounds good to me

It would be nice to have a forum on here just for health issues.

true that