Any of you Aspie women have a significant other?

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I read somewhere that we women/girls with AS are likely to have romantic relationships than Aspie men/boys.
But most of us have the feeling that we'll never get a significant other because of our condition(s), our interests, or how we look...like yours truly.
However, there are some of us who have luckily landed in a relationship. Some of them last and some of them don't.
The reason why I composed this topic is to see for us how we as Aspies do in the relationship department and how it affects us with some simple questions. This will be judgement-free and honesty is strongly encouraged!
Both straight and gay individuals are welcome to participate in this subject. I'll start off:

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
Single. I'm happy and bitter about it at the same time.
I'm happy because I won't get hurt by no one because of my condition. And I'm bitter because I believe relationships are solely based on looks and not personality. When people say want someone who makes them laugh and such, they're lying. I think people only want sex and forget about 'em.

2) How many relationships you've had?
Only one.

3) Where did you both meet?
At a vocational boarding school for people with disabilities. I was there taking trial courses for a week to see if I was qualified to enroll there (but I wasn't).
I had lunch one day at the cafeteria sitting by myself as usual. Then he shows up and decides to sit with me. I usually don't let anyone sit with me at all, but in his case I made an exception because I wanted to get to know him. So I let him because I notice he was a cute boy who took a course with me and was staring at me for a while. I wondered why? Why me?

4) How old where you both when it happened?
I was only 21 at the time. So was he, only a couple of months older.

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
He said he has a learning disability but it's so long winded I don't remember what it was. He was very understanding about my condition. After all, we met at a place for people with learning disabilities.

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
I thought he's very handsome and 'normal' looking, but I never thought of him as being a future boyfriend of mine. Mainly because I thought he deserved someone as equally as hot as he is. He said he has a learning disability but it's so long winded I don't remember what it was. However, he turned out to be very sweet and caring toward me. What a surprise!

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
I did, unexpectedly. After dinner, we decided to take a walk around the halls and we ended at the auditorium. I jumped to the stage and told him that I hope to front a band someday. He seemed to like the idea even though he hasn't heard me sing. I told him that I couldn't wait to sing for him at karaoke night (which never happened). Then I asked if I could kiss him and he said, "Sure". Yep, it happened just like that. I never thought I'd make the first move...ever. I felt for the first time ever I was in love! I didn't think it would ever happen.

8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
My boyfriend complimented me for how I look which was surprising considering that I'm unattractive to most.
He'd call me or text me. He once surprised me by showing up to my work. At Xmas, he invited me to his family get-together since my mom was away. I gave him his gift and he gave me a giftcard from Hot Topic (my favorite store!). I couldn't ask for anything better! He made me feel like a human being.

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
I never had sex with him, ever...or with anyone else. I'm still a virgin 'til this day. Besides, he's a good Christian boy.

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
For only a month. We're not together anymore.

11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
We both told our individual plans for the new year. I told him I was going to study in Canada and he said he was going to Italy. We knew we were heading into different paths so we called it quits on friendly terms. We ain't heard from each other since.

12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
I don't think so. There will never a guy as good as he was. Most guys hate me because i'm not what they expect. I'd rather be alone than have some jerk around who doesn't get me or will abuse me, etc.

***Please feel free to share by answering these questions or make up some of your own questions in this matter!***

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?

I am married. I enjoy it and am glad I am not single. I would hate to be single and be a single mother.

2) How many relationships you've had?

Two before my husband.

3) Where did you both meet?

Online on a forum

4) What was your 1st impression of him/her?

I thought he was very naive but he was very nice and wanted to spoil me.

5) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?

I think he did. We met online and then we planned on a meeting spot. He was the one to send me a PM after I made a thread asking if anyone is in my area and if they wanted to hang out.

6) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?

He accepted me for who I am. He has bought me some stuff.

7) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? Optional question, of course!

I lost it with my first ex actually. I was very excited to get rid of it. But it hurt the first time.

8) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?

We have been together for three years and have been married for a year now.

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
Single. I accept it but I would be very lonely if I didn't have my son. I think I can only be with someone I can be completely myself with.
2) How many relationships you've had?
Only one that counts by which I mean lasted for more than a few weeks.

3) Where did you both meet?
Where I worked. He was a customer where I was a bartender. I knew him casually for 8 years before we got together.
4) How old where you both when it happened?
I was 40 and he was 35
5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
I think he is possibly sociopathic. I had never heard of Aspergers or hfa or pdd-nos but everyone knew me as the space cadet who rarely spoke and didn't look people in the eye.
6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
Sweet, considerate, quiet, bookish actually calculating and manipulative.
7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
He did but I said no,then I did.
8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
His screwups had me so stressed I couldn't produce enough milk for our baby. He would feed my son formula so I could sleep in.
9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
This is awful. I was 17 and was being pursued by this guy who was beginning to get on my nerves. I had this instinctual feeling that if I slept with him he would be satisfied that he had conquered me and would go away. So I did to get rid of the pesky virginity and he did indeed go away. I never saw him again.
10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
About 2 years but in retrospect I think the relationship was effectively over the moment I told him I was pregnant. He didn't have to go after me when I was passed out.
11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
We were already engaged but I told him at my age if I happened to get pregnant unintentionally I would go ahead with the pregnancy. He told me he would be by my side if that came to be.That was true for a little while. He also told me he had no other kids and had never been married. Turns out he had been married twice before and had 2 kids he wasn't helping support. I found this out when I was 8 months pregnant due to an offhand comment by his sister in law who assumed I knew. Anyway that was the catalyst. It would have been a kindness just to dump me. Instead he told me he was terminally ill ( advanced hep c circumstances made it plausible) and continued to go nuts (with grief and fear) and basically destroyed everything we had that resembled a stable home life.
12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
No.

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
In a long-term unmarried relationship. I'd like it to last whether married or not.

2) How many relationships you've had?
Several short-term relationships, four major ones, including the current.

3) Where did you both meet?
I actually met him in a sports bar.

4) How old where you both when it happened?
I was 40, he was 39.

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?'s
He is ADHD. He's primarily neutral toward the Asperger's. He knows about it, but he accepts me as an individual first.

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
He looked attractive and thoughtful.

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
I did. I apparently made the right choice.

8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
He's a very considerate person in general, and I couldn't estimate a number on all the little things he does. Just too numerous.

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
It hurt a bit.

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
5 1/2 years, so far.

11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
NA

12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
I'd rather not. I rather like this one.

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
Single. I'm asexual and aromantic, so being single is not something I'm sad about.

2) How many relationships you've had?
None.

3) Where did you both meet?
N/A

4) How old where you both when it happened?
N/A

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
N/A

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
N/A

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
N/A

8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
N/A

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
N/A

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
N/A

11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
N/A

12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
No.

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
Single. Just licking my wounds from last unsuccessful attempt.
2) How many relationships you've had?
<=3
3) Where did you both meet?
(main partner) At outdoor activities group.
4) How old where you both when it happened?
26
5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
I think we are possibly both on the spectrum.
6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
Interesting. Not like every one else.
7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
He asked me out, but it took ages to become more than friends, probably because I didn't have a clue what I was doing.
8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
He didn't really believe in being nice (nice=fake?).
But he did/does occaisionally help me with practical things if I ask for help and its an easily defined (to him) problem.
9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
At 25. With an aquaintance. Was very confused by all the feelings he was stirring up in me, with his tactile touching. Got drunk and just let things happen.
10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
(mp) About 10 years. Not together.
11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
Me struggling with life, lived on his terms. His inability to be there for me at traumatic event.
12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
I don't know. Maybe if I started taking care of myself and joined another group.

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
married with a son (11months) and another baby on the way (due april). we love each other and accept each others differences. our marriage is rocky sometimes but most are even if there are not special circumstances.

2) How many relationships you've had?
2

3) Where did you both meet?
high school at lunch

4) How old where you both when it happened?
17

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
he is NT i think, he has quirks but nothing really "special".

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
he was incredablly hot and out of my league

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
he did of course. it was uncomfortable because he put his arm around me and its something i dont do well with (people touching me)

8 ) What sort of nice things did/does your significant other do for you?
-----------

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
it was weird, i dont really enjoy sex at all.

10) How long were/have you both together/married? Are you still together?
we've been together 4 years and will be married 3 years come dec.

11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
------------

12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
------------

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
Married and happy, though it's hard at times

2) How many relationships you've had?
Three

3) Where did you both meet?
My children's dad at school and we were together for nearly 11 years and then a friend I met and grew very close to online over a period of years and I met my wife online through Facebook

4) How old where you both when it happened?
15 for first and then 29

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
1st always wanted to 'fix' me as I was 'messed up' - didn't know I was AS then and it didn't go well :s Despite the long term of the relationship there was a lot of bad and he had a bad temper and well, it just was bad in the end.
Other have been fine with it, knew me well before I knew what it was and just accepted me as I was so it didn't matter that it all actually had a name, if you see what I mean?

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
Looking back I stayed with my kids dad out of fear and being so broken down by him and his behavior and ended up with him because I had such low self esteem and because I wanted my son to have a family like I didn't.
2nd - sounds silly but I felt a connection to her the first time we spoke online and it went from there. we are very close and despite now being 200 miles apart can know when the other is upset and things like that. I have never had that kind on connection with any other person. we are still close and very good friends.
My wife is quite a bit younger than me which at first made me push her away, my life is not easy having AS and having special needs kids too plus past issues and I didn't want her coming into our lives and then going but we were friends and decided to give it a try and it worked out She's a very calm and tries to understand and asks instead of getting mad or assuming the worst.

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
No one really, just sort of happened lol

8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
Nice texts, letters, notes etc. Helps around the hosue and with kids. Buys me chocolate lol
Hugs. Tries to understand and even if she doesn't excepts

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
Was with my children's dad and it was rushed and I remember wondering what all the fuss is about

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
11 years
1 year but friends for many and still are
Still are

11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
May bad things and he left me because I was 'f****d up'
2nd - Just could work, long distance and stuff

12) Do you think you'll find someone new?

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
In a stable long term relationship. Super-happy most of the time because it's the only one where i haven't been beaten.

2) How many relationships you've had?
One decent one, about 6 awful ones.

3) Where did you both meet?
At work; he came in to have his car fixed. (i'm a mechanic.)

4) How old where you both when it happened?
I was 19, he was older.

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
NT. And he's very supportive.


6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
Gorgeous and manly. And funny.

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
He asked me to dinner the second time we met when he came back to pick up his car- i'm surprised i said yes, but - he was so sincere and lovely.

8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
He listens to me, puts up with me when i cry or smash things up. gives me gifts, texts me sweet messages.

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
Involuntarily lost it at 14, but then with consent at 18 with an abusive boyfriend who i thought i loved.

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
Still together and going strong. <3

11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
Still together; but with exes, just the strength to realise that it's not right he beats me up on a regular basis. and my best friend helped a lot.

12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
Hope I never need someone new.

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
Engaged to be married. Couldn't be happier with it.

2) How many relationships you've had?
A handful of short rubbish ones before this one - nothing really meaningful

3) Where did you both meet?
Properly? After a concert in a train station after we both missed our trains. (We met briefly before the concert).

4) How old where you both when it happened?
We were both 17.

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
NT. He's been amazing.

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
Random, sweet, funny.

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
He asked me to meet him a week or so later. I was shocked, but happy.

8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
More than I could list. Basically he understands me, accepts me and even loves me for all of my...eccentricities.

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
With an ex. A long time ago. It didn't really mean much.

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
Together for 6 years and still going.

11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
N/A

12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
N/A

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
Married. Happily, though sometimes I just want to be left alone so I can focus on whatever I'm obsessively focusing on.

2) How many relationships you've had?
Two (including my husband).

3) Where did you both meet?
I was working in a health food store. I was on Paxil at the time, which made me a bit more outgoing than usual.

4) How old where you both when it happened?
I was 20, he was 24.

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
He is definitely ADHD. Has some aspie traits. He called me a freak of nature when we were dating and meant it as a compliment, so he has always loved me for me. We were together for years before I even heard the term Asperger's.

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
I thought he was cute. Noticed him as soon as he walked in the store.

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
I did. He wasn't very good at picking up on hints (not that I'm one to talk).

8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
He's very sweet. Does little things like bringing me glasses of water (I really like water). He's kind to animals, which is one of the main things that attracted me to him.

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
Ten years and counting.

He's the most wonderful man in the world!

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
Engaged. We've been together for 16 months. It was a complete surprise as I had resolved myself to a monastic Buddist life of renunciation until his love crept up and caught me totally off guard. Although I tried living in denial, I was very lonely in between the comfortable solitude of singledom. I'm happy, content and looking forward to a rewarding future together.

2) How many relationships you've had?
How do you classify "relationship"? I could say I have been with or I have been in a relationship with. I'll use my rule of thumb and say I have been in 6 relationships that have lasted more than 3 months but I married the first one and didn't have another until we were divorced 12 years ago.

3) Where did you both meet?
Work. He was a train driver and I was a night security patrol officer.

4) How old where you both when it happened?
37

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
He's special! He has a photographic memory, is an indigenous Australian and has been dealt his share of life's challenges including having survived depression and a victim of domestic violence. He is very supportive of my gifts and would be willing to do anything to help me when life gets a bit rough. It took him a while to understand my head space but I so lucky to have a man in my life willing to understand everything about me.

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
Intelligent. We shared the same opinion on many issues. His nervousness made him look a bit goofy but that was endearing.

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
He did. Grateful.

8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
Trusted me. He was always there to help when I needed it. Still is!

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity?
I was raped 20 years ago. First sexual experience was with another woman. I hate sex. Always a small point of contention in any relationship.

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
I was married to my first boyfriend for 4 years. We have not spoken since then.
I have been engaged for just over a year now.

11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
I divorced my x-husband because he had affairs, lots of them, while I worked to keep us alive and he spent all my money on his lovers.

12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
No. This wonderful man who has come into my life to brighten every day is the One, my Soul Mate.

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
Married to my best friend. It's the best thing that happened in my life. Although I imagine I'd be OK being single, too, other than being nagged to death by my mom. Never looked for a partner. It's just what happened.

2) How many relationships you've had?
I had just one serious relationship before DH, with a very NT girl. It was very interesting, lots of ups and downs and misunderstandings. Kinda like those romance novels. I think I kinda agree that love alone can not solve all the problems and reconcile differences.

3) Where did you both meet?
In a software engineering class in university. It was a very dull class.

4) How old where you both when it happened?
We were 21 and 22.

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
We didn't know about Aspergers. Now we know I have it and he's kinda borderline. We're very much like each other and rarely disagree about anything. It's just he manages to cope with life and job much better. We're the same type, it's just I slipped into the range of the spectrum. I don't think I can live with a truly NT person.

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
Boring and weird. Too skinny (that changed pretty quickly later).

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
He made lots of obvious moves but of course I didn't notice. He talked to me a lot and I never thought about anything until he asked me out. I was like "Ah that's why he's been talking to me."

8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
He did all sorts of nice things. I'm mostly impressed with his patience.

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
It was on our wedding night so it's great! I can't say it didn't hurt, but it's better than I expected.

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
Married for 11 years, together for 15 years and plan to be together forever.