Bad Shrink Experience

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Tell YOUR favourite "stupid shrink" story!

Mine: Setup:
I'm pursuing an official diagnosis. It took three doctors before I was able to strongarm one into getting me an apointment with a shrink (referral is required around here - you can't see an expert any other way). In the initial visit, she invited an assistant, and some other lady (counsellor? I didn't even catch her name, and purposely ignored her after she made me change seats after I was already sitting) to the talk. Not much got accomplished. Shrink asked me to write down the reasons I thought I had Asperger's and to mail it in. She said she had lots of apointments and that her assistant would be calling me and doing the next apointment so that I could be seen again within a decent time frame.

I eventually did write the list, and walked it in to the secretary. And 2.5 weeks after the initial visit, called to ask why I hadn't heard about next apointment yet. Two days later I get a hasty call to schedule one.

Actual Story:
I go in. It's the assistant. He has my list. He asks what it is. I tell him I was asked for it. He says "well lets just leave it aside" and he tosses it off like it's diseased meat. "Tell me why you think you have Asperger's." / "Tell me what makes you think you don't have it."

He's never heard of toewalking. I don't think he knows about meltdowns. He asks at one point why I was fired from my job(s). I start telling him the stories. He more than once, right in the middle of the story, asks about the next job (we haven't even got to the firing-problem yet!) as if I'd told all..

The most annoying thing.. he spent the whole meeting picking his nose and looking at his fingers. Now, I know I'm bad at reading body language, and probably even worse than I think I am, but really WTF it doesn't take a genius to know boredom when faced with THAT kind of behaviour.

Someone deliver me from the stupidity of the world.

One time I told my ex shrink of ten to twelve years ago, that I like to dress in Carnaby Street fashion, due to a particular part of the 60s, that I like. She told me that my same aged peers might be uncomfortable with that, and she told me that I wanted to blend in and have friends. I was not interested in the latest hair and trends, back in 1999 and I'm sure as hell not interested in them, now. The reason that I don't wish to bother with my same aged peers, is because they might get in the way of my second Modhood, and that would be a waste of my time. I'd rather spend that time, parading the streets, in my 1964 Kinks outfit, with the red jacket.

I think that when young people go in to talk to a psychiatrist probably all of them say first thing that they feel like they "dont belong" or have trouble making friends. That is a trait of Asperger's, but it also happens to most adolescents especially if they look different. So the advice they gave you is the same they would give someone who isn't diagnosed AS. I dont think that is particularly helpful.

You were older though, right CR? I bet she figured you needed to be more like mainstream adults- pushing her views and conservative societal expectations, I bet. It would have been good advice if you were looking for a job and your clothing was getting in the way of that, though.

Oddfiction- that sounds like a nightmare! I can't stand all the loops we have to jump through to get help- it is very similar here in the US too. You have to get referred in most cases. I had left my civilian job in 2008 because of a mental and physical breakdown. I am a veteran- spent 12 years active duty prior to that job. When I came back to live with my mom I went to get help from the VA. Because I made too much money in 2007 they would not see me. Never mind that I was jobless and suicidal at that time. I had to stop several medicines cold turkey- antidepressants and a mood stabilizer, so my suicidal tendencies were amplified. I could not get any local help because I am not part of the local NA tribe.

So I basically spent 2008 a practically bedridden basket case. In 2009 the VA farted around with my paperwork and didn't bother to send me an approval letter even though I called and emailed countless times, and they had actually approved me at the beginning of the year! At the end of 2009 I finally got my letter, but I was not seen by anyone until April of 2010. She was a nurse, but she was at least able to schedule me for psyche evaluation and could start me on the Wellbutrin again. The appointment with mental health finally happened in May because I was severely depressed and suicidal. If I had not admitted to a few really bad things I would have been pushed off for another 6 months.

Well, I did get help this year and I am doing better, so after all of that craziness and 2 years of misery I am glad to have it! So stick with it- don't give up because the assistant is gross and stupid. You will be seen eventually, and at least you are on that track. It is hard to be patient but keep notes on your symptoms as you go along waiting for an appointment. I did that and even took my notes to my appointment. That helped me stay on track with the doctor on my first visit. I get distracted easily and will forget things.

When I was nine years old, I was diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder by a psychologist who blamed me for clumsily dropping an egg on the kitchen floor. Apparently this was... some kind of rebellion? Oh, yes, and he mistook my getting comfortable with therapy for my actually "recovering"... uhh... no, sorry, just because the child no longer runs out of the room and hides in the bushes doesn't means she's magically perfectly fine now.

Looking back on it, I strongly suspect that the actual problem was that I was depressed at the time; but back then they didn't think that could happen to nine-year-olds. From my descriptions, several psychologists have agreed that this was probably my first episode of recurrent major depressive disorder.

Incidentally: Like many Aspies, I'm dyspraxic. I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was twelve or thirteen. Dropping eggs is something I still do, even though there's no one in the apartment to rebel against, unless you count the cats!

I was in my early 20s, and I came into her office with the attitude that I was going to get people my own age to like me, no matter what my differences, and that my parents were maximizing my AS, to the point that it was the only thing that defined my personality. She had a goal in mind, but I wasn't going to let her goal overide my nostalgic feelings, for the things that I loved. I guess you could say, that I'm a quiet rebel.

Major gross-out! Jeez, not talk about having social skills.

A psychodynamic psychotherapist was having a lot of trouble getting me to display emotion - she thought it was an essential prerequisite of the therapy relationship for the patient to breakdown in tears and assign some trust to the therapist to fix whatever was so upsetting. She made me go through some unpleasant experiences (childhood abuse, family problems and adult bullying) which I can easily describe, but have huge difficulty in understanding what I feel about them - apart from very uncomfortable. In the end she sent me home with a big History of the Twentieth Century so that I could go and put all my significant life events in the right sequence and find "the original crisis". I could not deal with that assignment and attempted suicide instead (failed, obviously).

The guy should have just told you, 'Straight up, I don't know a lot about Asperger's.'

That is, he tells you going in that you're not going to get what you want. You're not going to get any kind of definite determination one way or the other.

And then it would be your choice whether or not you want to go forward. And then perhaps it could have been a somewhat helpful conversation if he had been a respectful individual (of course he was miles from respectful!).

I think that a lot of therapys can be of little use to someone on the Spectrum.

Ex. A person on the Spectrum goes in and says 'I'm feeling sad because I have little/no friends and my family must dislike/hate me because they are shouting and saying mean things for no reason'. The person (therapist/counsilor) then trys to reassure the client that this couldn't be true (possibly useful for NT's) instead of helping the client realise the behaviours that triggered the aggression.

In a situation with an NT it is entirely possible that the above issue is partially in their heads but for most Spectrumites it is probably a correct viewpoint/assessment of the situation. A tangible reason why can really help someone improve their lives but it is assumed that the Aspie/Autie already knows the whys of what is causing them discord in the session.

OddFiction: It sounds awful. I would have said to the assistant would you mind not picking your nose and actually listen to what I'm saying (loudly+annoyed) but I can be somewhat aggressive when someone is being rude. Can you ask to be refered to someone who actually knows about AS?

My own bad therapy session was as follows. My parents were splitting up and my Father was extremely emotionaly abusive about my Mother to me, thus causing lots of distress to me and aggression (mental) to my Mother. So I was taken to counseling. The counsillor asked my Mother if she would like to stay in the room during my session (she asked me too but I was raised to believe it's wrong to exclude). I explain as best I can about my Father whilst my Mother was in the room. At the end of the session my Mum was told that it was all her fault I was unhappy and to stop talking badly about my Father (she never said anything bad about him despite him being a serious jerk to us both). This damaged my relationship with my Mum, even to this day more than ten years later (it has been somewhat repaired).

I hope I would have said that, too. But in real time I sometimes don't. It catches me off guard that the person is being that blatantly rude.

I distrust the entire mental health field. It's definitions are almost as malleable as those found in religion. And yet I am paradoxically bound to its categorizations. To even consider that I have a fundamental neurological difference from statistical norms is to submit to such categorizations. To go as far as labeling myself as one with Asperger's is to fully embrace the vagaries of the mental health field, even if my only intent is to apply some constructive framework to my self-perceived shortcomings.

And this probably makes no sense to anybody but me. Am I weird, even among Aspies?

Welcome to the doll house

I think I went to the session expecting it to be useless. The hope being that showing up would keep me current on the main shrink's notice. I didn't expect how useless it actually turned out. Incidently I forgot to mention that when I showed up, they'd forgotten to pencil in my apointment. They offered nothing but denial. I had to make them ask mr. magoo if I was suppossed to be there (I had even seen him in the elevator on the way up).

Update: That was last friday. He said they would call me and arrange a new apointment that afternoon. Haven't heard from them yet.



Hah. nope. Totally shared.

I've got one.

While I was in therapy for a divorce I was in the middle of, I self-diagnosed, and asked my therapist to recommend someone I could go to for an official diagnosis.

I explained that I wanted an evaluation for Aspergers when I scheduled an appt. with my therapist's choice of local psychiatrist. Apparently, his usual appts. are only 15 mins. long, but because I was a new patient, I would receive the grand total of 30 minutes in exchange for the $235 that I would be paying out of pocket. Then I had a month to obsess, and anxtify over it.

I arrived a little early, but in time to watch 3 other patients go in for a few minutes, and come straight out, each with a prescription pad sized piece of paper in hand.

Then I went in, and this young guy, with wirerims, a receeding hairline, and an impersonal businesslike expression, (and who never bothered to introduce himself,) says "So, what are you here for?" I tell him, and he says "Oh, I can't do that. (pause)..... But as long as you're here, I can evaluate you for ....other things...."

He then asked me about 6-8 minutes worth of questions along the lines of: How's your appetite? Do you sleep well? Do you think people are watching you? Does your mind jump around alot? Are you anxious? etc...At the end of this ad hoc general list of symptoms he informed me that I was "somewhere in cluster A" (schizo, schizotypal, schizophrenic) He wasn't sure which.

He then said he knew a guy who had a kid who was obsessed with video games, and he (the shrink) thought the kid might have Aspergers, but he'd never actually met the kid.

He asked if there was anything else he could do for me. So, as long as I was there, I thought I should get something out of it. To which end, I told him I wanted a prescription for Inderal, because I have an entirely unsupported theory that nonselective betablockers might aid in regulating a nervous system which gets less regulated under stress. So, he wrote me a perscription, (without an exam, which may be illegal, but fine by me). He then 'splained betablockers to me.

Then having nothing else with which to fill the time, he read my patient data sheet. He noted that as Virgo, I might have some things in common with Aspergers. I told him I was a Libra (Oct. b-day), and pointed out that categorizing according to astrology, as a psychiatrist who had just told me that I might be schizotypal, he'd just lost all credibility. Yes, my knickers were in quite the twist by this time.

He allowed that I might be comorbid, and if I wanted, I could continue to come back for 1/2 hour appts. (at $235 per) until he decided, whether or not, I had Aspergers.

At my next monthly appt. with my therapist, (who I very much like, but who has a full patient load, and is 68 , if she's a day) said, "Please, don't tell me I sent you to him."

I've since been officially diagnosed by the one local neuropsychologist.... after 2 interviews, and 8 1/2 hours of neuropsych testing. And, frankly, I don't mind that it cost a $1900 dollars out of pocket, because I felt that she really did/does know what she's doing, as doubtless, most of the autistic kids in the area end up in her office sooner, or later, due to the requirements of their IEPs. Mine wasn't the first monotropic rodeo she'd been to.

The only way everything comes out right in the end, is if one keeps moving forward. Advocating for oneself is perhaps, the most difficult thing we are called on to do. Or, at any rate, it seems so to me.

Shrinks are almost completely worthless to people with AS unless they know how to deal with the specific traits that makes regular therapy useful for NTs but not AS.

It's especially worthless when the shrink (or counsellor) wants to know why it is the other people don't like you...and you don't even know the answer to that question.

Exactly what I mean, the assumption is either you just think people don't like you or that you want to get over people not liking you. That you may not have a clue how to find a clue doesn't enter most of their heads.