Fate

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Do you believe in fate? What is the point?

I have very strong views on this, and have concluded recently that to me, Fate decides everything.

It fools us into thinking we have a serious choice in the outcome and landscape by which we live our daily lives.

In my case, Fate has screwed with me on various fronts:-

ASPERGERS - Ive always felt different from everyone else. Ive taken many things to heart, and have completely misread certain social situations as a result. Due to this social indifference, I am now choosing to avoid any social situation that is presented. In terms of my highfunctioning, I dont have the traits often seen as "positive". Im not above average in IQ, and certainly am not strongwilled. All I have is a heightened awareness, paranoia and a vacuum of guilt.

LOCATION - Fife, Scotland. If youve even been in this region of Scotland, its a lovely looking small county. However, it is tiny and doesnt have a lot of services. Support services of any kind are scarce here, and unfortunately where I am, services in other areas of Scotland will not entertain applications from "outsiders" for assistance. I feel completely isolated from help here. I cant move outwith coz Im skint, plus Ive never left the "family" home - I wouldnt have a clue what Im doing. The location also makes it very difficult to travel to any events which I want to attend. This impacts on the minimalistic social circle I may try to pretend that I have.

WORK - Similar to socialising, I am not taken seriously at work. A skillseeker recently got a promotion, whom I had trained over the last year, and he made a very good point - Despite being more than 10 years older than him, his new position has him making more money than me. Due to my own insecurities, I dont have one ambitious streak in me whatsoever. In terms of colleagues, they dont take me seriously. Im often left out of meetings, and most of the talking is done behind my back. They treat me like a child coz of my quiet, introverted traits.

FRIENDSHIPS - As indicated above, my dealings with others is complicated. My communication traits involve speaking reallyquickly, repeating something which has been said, and mainly talking garbage. Despite the training in social skills, my aspergers refuses to learn these lessons, so I constantly find myself back at square one. In most cases, my verbal self destructive nature often pushes people away.

AGE - I was diagnosed later on, at 25, when out of employment. As I get older and fail to adapt, the more expectations will grow for the age group I am in. Hitting 30 in a few months time, I have not one aspect of independence, and am actually embarrassed to detail my personal life as a way of communicating with others.

I put all of the above areas down to Fate who holds all the cards.

My belief is that everything is down to this larger entity, as part of the Big Picture. You have those out there, who have the "gift of the gab", and are there to make a social impact. People in my shoes are here to make our own impact, in a different way. We are not blessed with the social and confidence skills to truly aspire to anything involving a group activity. Whatever we are here to do, is on a solo basis, before we die.

I would be interested to hear from fellow aspies on their thoughts about the role (if any) that Fate plays on their daily lives.

The Fates were 3 sisters of Greek mythology weaving the future. Karma is probably the eastern version?

If you dont brush your teeth you can get tooth decay. If you dont wear a safety belt you could die in a car wreck. These could hardly be 'fate' or karma, but easily explained with modern science

Yet I do believe in fate or karma, just as much as we are personally responsible for all our actions, and those of children and animals in our care.

Fate comes from left of center, but everyone that the 3 fates effect, they usually take it in their stride as just one of those things

For me its like the nurture vrs nature arguement, usually a bit of both. Overall, I tend to find conscious choice predominats over fate, and avoid fatalistic thought in fear of self fulfilling prophecy.

I take it one day at a time, and I play the cards that I've been given.

There was a person of Fife,
Who was greatly disgusted with life;
They sang him a ballad,
And fed him on salad,
Which cured the Fife person for life.

Fate is BS.

The reaction I expected...

Fates greatest trick is thinking we all have a choice. but what happens when we make a choice, and Fate reverses it?

folks with an external locus of control=east
folks with an internal locus of control=west

east is east
west is west
and never the twain shall meet.

I think I use my free will to determine my fate.

The future, always so clear.

Fate is just a word used to describe that which we have no control over and/or cannot explain.

Just because we personally cannot control whatever it is, and cannot explain who or what has control over whatever "it" is, does not necessarily mean there is no one "in control" and no explanation for it.

There are many things today we take for granted, because we can now explain them. Before we could though, many of those things were explained away as fate.

I think fate can be different according to the path the person takes. On my view, my fate is randomly.. Sometimes it brings luck meanwhile it brings bad luck. But it depends on what we think and path we choose to....

Can't say I know Fife, but I have passed through [formerly hit aberdeen fairly frequently] and I can kind of imagine.

Here is from me on fate -

At one point - 1986 - I spent a lot of hard time feeling damned and doomed by my genes and my history and environment. It was not fun and I know the feeling of being surrounded by snarling aliens with guns.

BUT - over time I have found -

you are NOT doomed

it is not either random or inevitable.

even a crippled salmon can arrive upsteam.

Not to go overboard with data, in 1986 I thought I was DOOMED to do either THIS impossible thing or THAT inconceivable thing. A wise person pointed out - there is a third option. There is always a way.

AS an Aberdonian used to tell me often, what's for you won't go by you. That's not FATE.

What you are calling "fate" is just the results of decisions made by other people. We all get to make decisions and that helps us have some control. But there are also 6 billion other people also simultaneously making decisions plus the effects of the decisions made by the people who preceded us.

Exercise as much control over your own life as you can by making all the best decisions you can. And also accept that you can't control what decisions the other 6 billion people will make and that will have some effect on your life, but not as much effect as the decisions you make.

So the theme Im getting here is that we make our own decisions, and the these decisions of our own free will result in the actions/consequences that follow?

Maybe then people can re-read my original post, and somehow apply that logic to each of the areas detailed:

ASPERGERS: I Didnt CHOOSE to wait until my mid-20s to get assessed for this. It WASN'T my decision that led to there being nothing out there which could help me recognise and cope with this condition.

LOCATION: I didnt CHOOSE to be born and bred in Fife. I certainly didnt impact on the chronic lack of travel and support services which currently plague our region.

WORK: I didnt CHOOSE to be treated lightly by my colleagues. Id much rather prefer to have a rapport of mutual respect from peers in this environment, and actually id choose to be seen as an equal, as opposed to "different".

FRIENDSHIPS: I didnt CHOOSE to have no social outlet. I decided on many occasions and environments, to buck this trend, but to no avail. That is me making a decison, and having it slapped right back in my face again. I didnt CHOOSE to have such detractive characteristics which would push people away socially.

I was always confused when someone said something like fate, destiny, or soulmates because I couldn't think of any logical explanation for how it could possibly be.

One great example is when I was told everyone was good at something. I thought about this a lot and was really worried for the people who are good at something that hasn't been invented yet.